Has anyone ever told you that you are self-centered?

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lostonearth35
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06 Dec 2012, 12:40 pm

Years ago when we were teenagers my my brother and I were arguing about some stupid pointless thing, I don't remember what it was, while our mom was on the phone and afterwards she was furious at us because it was an important call and yelled that we were both selfish and self-centered. Or maybe it was something different, something about my trying to microwave some leftovers. Maybe my brother was saying something nasty about it while mom was on the phone and that caused us to fight but I don't really remember, all I remember was hearing "You are selfish and self-centered!! !" from our mother and it was like why didn't she just throw boiling hot water in our face? But it's true back then like most young people I mainly only thought about myself even though I had moments of thoughtfulness and empathy. Some of my teachers in junior high also said I was selfish and immature for my age even though I was believed to be very intelligent. I haven't heard anyone describe me with those two words in a long time however, so I must be doing better. :) Or maybe I'm not around people enough anymore for them to judge. :?



howzat
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06 Dec 2012, 3:19 pm

An old mate of mine said i was self centered but i disagreed with him in fact it was the other way as it was all about him and nothing else.



Callista
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06 Dec 2012, 4:11 pm

My mom has told me that many times, because I'm not doing what she wants me to do.

I don't think I'm selfish. Or, no more selfish than most people are. I care about others, anyway, and I'm happier when I know I've made someone else happy; so I don't think I'm a psychopath or anything.

But sometimes I just don't know that I've done something clueless or not quite up to social expectations. I wish that, instead of just telling me I was selfish, my mom would have clued me in about those things. Having to learn about such ridiculously basic stuff when you're in your twenties and also studying advanced calculus is kind of embarrassing. And realizing you've hurt someone else is just plain painful. I think I'd do just about anything to ensure I'd never accidentally hurt anyone again. But it's inevitable. Heck, its even inevitable for NTs; however much more information they seem to get from others, they slip up too.


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scorpileo
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06 Dec 2012, 4:37 pm

i have many times but it seems to be a generic insult when the other person is loosing.. normally in an debate or when i explain why what they are asking of me doesn't make sense ect.. they do this to cover their inferiority.


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Jaden
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06 Dec 2012, 7:00 pm

Everybody in the world is selfish, self-centered, etc. Everyone has their own agenda, everyone lives only for themselves. In the end, this world is self-centered.

People don't like to believe that, and they don't like to admit it, but that's the reality of it.


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SoftKitty
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06 Dec 2012, 7:39 pm

Oh yeah, all the time, every day. I´ve even been told that I am the most proud individual that has ever walked The Earth. Even more narcissistic than our president Vaclav Klaus (the pen thief 8)). I don´t beg the difference, they are probably right about me.


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naturalplastic
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07 Dec 2012, 10:43 am

About the conversation in the original post: its hard to tell whats in someones head even if you're there.And we cant tell what her body language and tone of voice was.

It maybe that she didnt mean "you" as an individual. She might've meant "you-anyone"- that NOBODY cares about the weather unless it rains on them personally ( maybe she's an aspie with an academic obsession with meteorology and just likes to yak about weather).

Or - maybe she did indeed mean 'you' personally.

Like someone said-she might be self centered herself and be pissed off that your attention momentarily strays from her and her needs.

Or it could be that you do indeed come off as self centered for some reason, and need to figure out what you're doing wrong in your conversation style.

Who knows.

But careful what your assuming about things.



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07 Dec 2012, 11:49 am

"Selfish and self-centered" were two of my mom's most-used adjectives to describe me when I was a child, and they still come into conversation quite a bit. What's interesting to me is the fact that many times when they are brought up, it's when I'm trying really hard NOT to be either of those things. For example, keeping to myself because I don't want other people to be upset by my bad mood. Or trying to avoid a situation that would likely end in a meltdown for me and embarrassment for everyone around me. Like big "family gatherings".



eggheadjr
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07 Dec 2012, 1:22 pm

Been called: selfish or self-centered - no.

Been called: in my own world - quite often.


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persian85033
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07 Dec 2012, 1:25 pm

Yes. I used to get told that often. Not so much anymore, since my mom was told I had AS. She tries to be a bit more patient with me. But if I get called selfish anymore, I simply respond the same way Rhett Butler would. :lol: I mean, of course I can be selfish. After all, if I don't think of me, who will? :lol:


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