Posting a Letter

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Just out of curiosity, does anyone else here have a ridiculous level of difficulty with the art of "Posting a Letter"?

I see several parts to the full process:

Stage 1: Produce letter
a. source pen & paper or computer & printer
b. sit down in suitable space; focus!
c. composition i.e. what is purpose of letter, how to structure (beginning, middle, end) etc.
d. stupid conventions eg. sign-off to be deliberated over (sincerely, best wishes etc.)
e. envelope - must source, match size, insert letter and find conviction to seal shut.

Stage 2: Post letter
a. find and add address to envelope
b. find stamps and figure out appropriate value/design
c. transport letter to post box and send away forever

For me the very hardest parts are 1b and all of stage 2. I avoid needing to write letters like the plague but, when absolutely necessary, I will occasionally manage to produce one (usually after much procrastinating). However, once it's in the envelope, it can easily sit on the desk for a year or more waiting for something as simple as a stamp or, if stamped, just waiting for me to think of actually posting it. It seems like a ridiculously simple thing for me to be so incredibly bad at considering that I am so functional in so many other areas.

My executive function isn't brilliant, but it's not terrible either and my job requires a huge amount of flexibility and juggling. It's a huge mystery to me why I can't post a letter (I've probably managed about 10 in 30 years) and so I was curious to know if this is an activity which is recognised by any of you as requiring a greater level of skill/focus than the average NT could possibly imagine.

I definitely understand your problems with part 2 - I found a box of old letters lately, and a good half dozen were letters of cards that I wrote, put in an envelope, addressed and never sent. Some even have a stamp!

This is totally unrelated, but how do you guys come up with the stuff in your signatures ( AQ score, Aspie score, NT score)? Is there a test that everyone is taking?

They are taking the quizzes online and posting the results in their signatures by filling out the 'signature lines' in their profiles.


I have frequent trouble getting the mail from the house to the post office without forgetting or losing something, it's a wonder the lights haven't been shut off

Me too. Back in the old days when I still felt obliged to hand out xmas cards to people at school, I used to fail miserably at the distribution part. By the following xmas I would have a decent sized box of ready prepared cards from the previous year (often with nicely generic names like 'Sarah' or 'David' on them) so I would just have another go at handing them out to whoever fitted.

Unfortunately, some of them never made it and are still in a box in a cupboard somewhere. I guess I should recycle them. It's so nice to have the right to just opt out of that sort of disingenuous rubbish these days.



Yes, there are lots of tests ranging from 'just for fun' quizzes to genuine screening tests used in many research studies (not that that makes them overwhelmingly accurate either though).

See here for many links: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt113459.html

I have never ever posted a letter. I have done school applications though. Those require large amounts of organization and focus, verry merry berry unfun.

I have a box of signed, sealed, addressed, stamped Christmas letters from 4-5 years ago.

2c is definitely my downfall and I attribute it almost solely to executive functioning issues. I have a few areas where I simply cannot seem to initiate. This is one of them. Thank goodness you can pay your bills on the phone and internet these days. I cannot tell you how many times I have had to pay late fees when the check was in it's envelope waiting to find it's way to the post office.

1b, c and d are I think the hardest parts for me and I barely write any letter because of it. I have around 10 cards I bought on vacation to send to people, but never wrote anything on.
Most of the mail I send are things I need to fill out and send back, in which case 2c is a bit problematic. It generally takes from a few days to two weeks before I post a letter that's ready to go.

I identify with this too. I don't think most people/NTs think twice about tasks like this which are made up of multiple steps which all need to be completed successfully. I also find them very difficult. Equally difficult (and more of a bane to me personally) are forms which need to be filled in and posted. It's very rare that I need to write a letter - maybe once a year - but I always seem to have a form to fill in and send about something or other. I procrastinate over them for months, and when I make progress it's just one step forward (eg filling the thing in and putting it in the envelope) and I procrastinate over the next bit (stamp/postage).

The plus side to all of this is that it probably won't be long until letters and forms and so on are a thing of the past, replaced completely by e-mail and e-forms. Perhaps in a few years it will no longer be a concern.

Another scenario for me is that I've been sent a £100 cheque by a scary aunt of mine two years running now. She's incredibly keen on thank you letters (an annual horror of mine as a child) and so the following has occurred on each of the two years that I've received these cheques:

Year 1: I duly bought a card and wrote a nice thank you message. This card sat and waited to be sent in a stamped, but unaddressed envelope for so many months that I eventually felt guilty about the delay. To make up for it I bought a nice little book for her and eventually, with my partners help, we got it sent and she really liked it. Unfortunately, I didn't feel I could cash the cheque until after I'd said thank you, but by the time I'd sent the card and book, I'd lost the cheque. It's out of date now.

Year 2: Given the disaster of year 1, I debated how to deal with the thank you for quite a while. This turned quickly from weeks to months. Luckily I never told my parents about the cheque this time so I've decided that if my aunt ever asks it'll be a definite case of 'it must have got lost in the post'. Another £100 cheque I can't cash.

I don't post letters but I have tried doing cover letters and I found it difficult. I have difficulty with thank you cards because I never know what to say on them except "Thank you for the (insert what they got me here)." Last time I wrote more, I ended up offending someone so why bother? I maybe said other offensive things in other cards and they didn't call me out on it except for my aunt. I just ask my husband for help. I also have a hard time with greeting cards to. I only sign my name and I ask my husband for help about what to write in it and I copy his words. But I don't do greeting cards, just birthday cards but when he does decide to do greeting cards, that's when I do it with him.

I am guilty of delaying things like sending out thank you cards. It took me nearly two months to send them out after my wedding. It's a matter of getting my mind to it and getting myself to do it and being motivated.

I would say the hardest part for me is 1c. The second part I just tend to procrastinate in them all. But I still get it done but not right away. It's not hard but getting myself to do it is so I am working hard at not being lazy about it.

I figure out all of step 2 ahead of time, and just write my letter. It's pretty easy for me.

Addressing the envelopes is actually probably my favorite part of sending a letter.

As far as writing and sending them go, on the other hand... I recently had to write thank-you letters for graduation gifts that I received. Finally, a month after my graduation party my parents forced me to sit down and write them (my mom stared over my shoulder the entire time to make sure I actually did it). It's funny how something so simple as writing "thank you for the [insert gift]" can be so difficult. Especially because it seems so blunt and I want to write more, but I never know what to say. Anyways, once they got written, addressed, stamped, etc., they would up sitting on my table for another two weeks before I convinced myself to take them to the post office. And come to think of it, I still have one that I need to write because the gift came late.

So, yes, I find posting a letter to be very difficult.