Why

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Wont anyone on this site help me?

Why do you hate me?

I dont hate you.

One thing I realise is the people on this site are REAL not just faceless names.

This site has helped me lay out your problem and we will do our best to help you.

As regards hating you this is the first time I ever noticed you.

I need help with finding a therapist who works with people who have social problems and whom had atypical development as a child. People who have a high level of ability but who are struggling in a society wired up with more help for those people with low or average IQ.

I need to know how to control my ability so it doesn't intimidate people. The last time I tried to do an academic course (and I love studying and would like to study again) the group there complained that my knowing the answers to a question (I waited 2 days for someone else to post similar ideas/answers but no one did so I thought I was being helpful by contributing) was intimidating. I am not use to this as in person when in lectures (rather than with online courses) I used to wait for the teacher to ask me so no one was intimidated by me. They knew about my grades but used to ask me for help with their work but it was many years ago and the world has changed. I was too quite to be intimidating. I am not brash in person or in peoples faces. I am timid and slow to approach others. Quiet and prone to listening to others speak rather than speaking myself. People complain I am too quite in person. Online they complain I say too much.

Now people are obsessed. Even people here in the past complaining that i always say people are wrong. But they often are and if they contribute poor logic I will need to point that out if it will affect me directly in some way (ie they are giving advice that won't work because it is poorly thought through and are pushing me to take it). If ti doesn't affect me I let people believe what they want and don't say anything. But I won't act on bad advice that is inaccurate. That would be detrimental to my own well being and I am not a martyr that feels the need to sacrifice myself just to save someone elses ego because they can't stand sometimes being incorrect.

I need to know how to turn my ability off when interacting with people but without it having negative effects on my life because they want me to do something dangerous, stupid or unintelligent as it is natural for me to think the way I think. It is not some skill i taught myself so that I could be class braniac or a super person. I can't control it.

Its like when I was doing a physics paper at uni. I knew the answer to a problem without needing to work it out even though I had never answered such a question before and I had never studied physics prior to that. I just saw the answer in my head and knew which equations to combine to find the answer.

I can't always do that but it is something I have no control over. I can't make it happen and I can't stop it from happening.

I can't work with people because they are intimidated by me or rather what my brain can do and often adopt a childish immature attitude about it.

I also need help with social problems that exceed needing ot learn basic social skills.

Society has no help for someone of my level of ability and it is assumed that we don't need help due to said ability but it comes with problems and difficulties too. On the other side of the coin people believe people like me deserve to suffer because they hate that we can do something they can't and they think you are arrogant about it and think you are better than them which is silly. I actually wanted to try and teach others, not catapult myself to some position of superiority.

I need to find a therapist who can help me. I am willing to travel. I am in the UK.

Last edited by bumble on 02 May 2014, 8:42 am, edited 1 time in total.

I have tried to help in your threads of the past but none of my proposed solutions were viable for you.

If people don't give you the answers you are looking for, it is far more likely that they don't have the answers rather than that they know exactly how to help but are withholding out of hate.

But I have done all the things you suggested. People are not giving me a chance or a break. I cannot do anything if people won't give me a chance or a break. I can't force myself on people it would be rude.

Well first of all I am not intimidated by you nor do I hate you.

I am a social disaster so I am not different in that respect.

As regards finding a therapist I am in Ireland so I am across the water from you so I can be little help there.

I am of average intelligence but I do despair at so of the stupid people I deal with in everyday life.

If you want a friend I would be happy to link up with you on Facebook.

I don't have the answer to how you feeling but I do understand how you are feeling and I really mean that.

It is like with the relationship thing. I get offers but from people who do things like spam me. This is not acceptable. On one occasion I missed an important phone call because they were hogging the line by incessantly ringing it.

It is not appropriate to do that. I don't cope with clingy or in my face people.

My online communication style and my real world communication style are completely different. I freeze in social situations in person and don't know what to say so rarely speak much. Even if I don't freeze conversation is not forthcoming. I know how to have a two way conversation I just cant contribute much of the time as I don't have anything to say in my head and the more I try to force it the worse the not knowing what to say gets.

I don't know how to approach people when I am out but I always put it down to shyness. Sometimes I want to but am not sure if I am welcome to approach or not. I don't just barge in. I stand back and wait for people to speak to me. I don't like doing all the talking it hurts my head. It's hard. I'd rather they nattered and I'll pipe up with something when I think of it.

I am so disappointed that the therapist could not help, at least with the shyness side of things. I do get some shyness even if she does suspect there is some Aspergers there.

If you want intellectual stimulation, there's a thread about some hospital which administers electrical shocks to people with autism as an "adversive therapy." It's the one which has the most responses, I believe. there's lots of philosophy discussed there, lots of ethics. I'll look for the name of that thread.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 02 May 2014, 9:18 am, edited 1 time in total.

I have never had a relationship of any kind the only thing I do on Facebook is be a friendly acquaintance.

It's called "An Enquiry into the Judge Rotenberg Center and ABA." It's in this group of threads. It was started by LittleBee. It's had 69 responses.

Also: the one started by Hale Bopp, dealing with bullying, could also fill your bill.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 02 May 2014, 9:25 am, edited 1 time in total.

Dont feel the need to argue or explain yourself. Sometimes you dont have to say anything. Just do it your way quietly.

Tell me about it! There's not a lot out there.

So people get intimidated because you're good at studying and do really well in your courses? So you want to dumb yourself down to satisfy them? I say let them be intimidated if they are going to be so stupid to be intimidated by someone just because they are 'smart' that is so stupid. So long as you're not being arrogant about it or shoving it in peoples faces or bragging about how much smarter you are and how everyone else is stupider...I don't see the problem and feel like perhaps they are just trying to mess with you, and might even be jealous. So for that perhaps trying not to take it too personally, and realize maybe they are the ones with the problem. Its not your job to appear 'dumber' just so immature people can feel smarter than they are.

Or maybe you some how do come off as arrogant without realizing it, and that is why people feel intimidated....in which case yes it might be good to work on that some, however if they are intimidated soley due to your acedemic abilities that is kind of their problem. Unfortunately I don't know of any specific therapists per say, but perhaps looking into one that specializes in autism or social issues related to autism would be useful but I don't know of any specific ones.

Hopefully the ethics discussion constists largely of why it is unethical to use electrical shocks or adverse therapy in the first place. Because esssentailly the philosophy behind it is to beat the disorder/illness out of you....or in that case shock the disorder/illness out of you....essentially punishing symptoms till the person stops having them which usually is not successful since autism isn't a condition that just goes away if you punish the person for acting on traits and symptoms of autism.

I don't hate you at all Bumble. I really like you actually. And I mean that. Sometimes we can think people hate us because there is a part inside ourselves that is having trouble and that part will convince us that others feel a way about us that they really don't. It can be very confusing when that part of us speaks out to us. But I truly don't hate you Bumble, not even a little. I think you are very nice and I can relate to things that you write and some of your posts have helped me understand myself better.

Try not to listen to yourself when that message comes up because it's just not true.

Big Hug,
Skibum

I've spoken to you before, Bumble; we've had nice conversations. Do you remember me? We spoke about your county (Norfolk, I believe).

I just thought that intellectual stimulation might assist you in at least finding an entrée into the "outer world."