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Do you choose the NT or AS life? Has that choise been taken willingly or unwillingly?
I choose the AS-life. I choose this more willingly than unwillingly. 54%  54%  [ 19 ]
I choose the AS-life. I choose this more unwillingly than willingly. 26%  26%  [ 9 ]
I choose the NT-life. I choose this more willingly than unwillingly. 14%  14%  [ 5 ]
I choose the NT-life. I choose this more unwillingly than willingly. 6%  6%  [ 2 ]
Total votes : 35

qawer
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28 Mar 2013, 5:32 am

If you have Aspergers Syndrome you may both have an AS and an NT side to you. This could lead to a dilemma as to how you want to live your life.

By "NT-life" I refer to: Trying to/striving for having kids and a full time job eventually.

By "AS-life" I refer to: Either not trying to/striving for getting a full time job or not trying to/striving for having kids, eventually.


Do you choose the NT or the AS life? And has that choise been taken willingly or unwillingly?



Last edited by qawer on 28 Mar 2013, 7:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

goldfish21
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28 Mar 2013, 5:46 am

Worst poll evAr. [/comic book guy]

AS life != not striving for full time employment, a relationship, kids etc. Nor does it have to be all of, or any of, the above, either. AS life = the lives AS people live, which are about as diverse as NT's. Some are providers & family people, others mad scientist type researchers and engineers, others actors or artists, with every mix of employment status & desire or lack of for a career/family/kids etc.

There is no black & white proper answer to your query, so your poll options are brutally.. horrible. Rethink, do-over!


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Schneekugel
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28 Mar 2013, 5:53 am

Why should the wish to have kids, be linked with being neurotypical? Its simply a physical linked deed, controlled by hormones. Aspergers have hormones too.

And why should the wish for working be linked with being neurotypical? Its natural, that I want to work. Eating, the wish for a warm home in winter, ... has nothing in common with being an NT. I think most Asperger like to eat.

I want children, and I want a working place fitting to my needs as everybody else on this planet..

And what do you mean, with "Did I choose my life?" I have Asperger, and because of that I live my life in a way that supports my Asperger needs. No, I did not choose to have Asperger, but I think you know that already, so I do not understand the intention behind the question.



qawer
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28 Mar 2013, 6:04 am

Hey guys.

It was only to put some labels on the different kind of life-styles, not to say anything about people in general.

The purpose of the poll is only to see how many actually go for the "kids+full time job"-model, and how many don't. I see the labels may be inappropriate, sorry for that. It was an attempt to make the intention more clear.


I know people are born with Aspergers! By "choosing unwillingly" I mean you'd like to live a certain way but don't feel like it may be possible due to Aspergers or the way the world is put together.



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28 Mar 2013, 8:12 am

I choose the AS life very willingly. I like being different and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm not interested with the NT things and categories that mainstream society thrive on. I also wouldn't have the special interests that I have now. Instead, I'd be following the crowd and influenced by the media. That's not the type of life that I want for myself. I like to enjoy my special interests and life life on my own terms. I don't wish to follow all the things that NTs make up and thrive on like conformity and the gender binary. I wish to stay the free spirit that I am, though I'm not a hippie. I feel that I need a chance to live my life in a free way that I was afraid to live it when I was in High School. As soon as I graduated, I started being myself and living the Mod lifestyle. I don't wish to be a regular person or be normal. I need to be myself and that's the final decision that I've made four years ago this coming September. I wouldn't be me, if I wasn't on the Spectrum. I'd also like to say that just because I don't wish to get married and have children doesn't mean that I'm not thriving. It means that I'd rather live my life according to the way that I feel on the inside and on the inside and in my heart, I feel that I'm meant to be a man and that I shouldn't have been born female. I'd also like to day that I'm looking for a job. I'm AS and I enjoy having a job. I'm not a little handicapped victim, I'm a fighter who fights such attitudes about autistics.


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MjrMajorMajor
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28 Mar 2013, 8:36 am

goldfish21 wrote:
Worst poll evAr. [/comic book guy]

AS life != not striving for full time employment, a relationship, kids etc. Nor does it have to be all of, or any of, the above, either. AS life = the lives AS people live, which are about as diverse as NT's. Some are providers & family people, others mad scientist type researchers and engineers, others actors or artists, with every mix of employment status & desire or lack of for a career/family/kids etc.

There is no black & white proper answer to your query, so your poll options are brutally.. horrible. Rethink, do-over!


I have to second this, because of your category labels. I'm living my AS life, which includes marriage, kids, and holding down a job.



WrongWay
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28 Mar 2013, 10:08 am

As mentioned, the difference between AS and NT life is not necessarily having a job and/or having kids. Perhaps the poll options should just ask whether we want a job/kids if that's what you're looking for.

As for me, I plan to have a full time job and kids in the future. I don't really know a good definition of 'AS life' either (maybe there isn't one) but I guess my lifestyle is fairly similar to those of my NT friends, so I guess I'm living more of an 'NT life'. Though I have an 'AS life' in some ways like being alone some of the time (though again that's not enough to define 'AS life' - could just be introversion).


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28 Mar 2013, 10:11 am

ummmmmwhat?



qawer
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28 Mar 2013, 10:17 am

Some people with aspergers might simply not be interested in having kids and "ordinary" perhaps boring work, but have more interest in their special interests instead (or just something other than this common "kids+full time job"-model). They might devote their time (and eventually life) to these special interests. I'd think of that as more of an "AS-life". It's a matter of where one puts priority I would say. Nothing being more right than something else. People should do with their lives what they prefer to do with it and what is best for them.



Joe90
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28 Mar 2013, 12:39 pm

How many of these types of threads keep popping up?


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28 Mar 2013, 5:59 pm

I'm not particularly keen on having kids (certainly wouldn't want more than one child). I'd also rather not work full time and instead get by with less money.

I am not sure that is an "Aspie life" though.



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28 Mar 2013, 6:05 pm

I don't really see how not wanting kids or a full time job is an AS life. Surely having AS has no relevance there.
For instance, I want to be an architect, but I don't strive for climbing social ladders, having lots of friends and contacts, I want to live for my job eventually. Is that really an NT thing or is it relevant to the joy that comes of AS interests?
I don't strive for what I consider an 'NT' life at all (I consider an NT life as striving for "it all" social life, family and work. 'keeping up with the Jones', 'competing with the neighbors') I consider an AS life as wanting to dedicate your life to mainly just one area, with none of the pressure for one-up-man-ship that NT's seem to have.



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28 Mar 2013, 6:44 pm

I have had nothing but terrible experiences living the NT life (hurt, betrayal, abandonment, ridicule). So after college I pretty much said to myself enough is enough. I know there are things I am missing out on doing so but my bad experiences are a good reminder of why being an NT can be just as terrible, if not worse than having AS at times.



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29 Mar 2013, 5:52 am

qawer wrote:
Some people with aspergers might simply not be interested in having kids and "ordinary" perhaps boring work, but have more interest in their special interests instead (or just something other than this common "kids+full time job"-model). They might devote their time (and eventually life) to these special interests. I'd think of that as more of an "AS-life". It's a matter of where one puts priority I would say. Nothing being more right than something else. People should do with their lives what they prefer to do with it and what is best for them.


Thats because Aspergers are ordinary people as everyone else, and as everyone else some of them have no desire for kids and family, and some do. There are lots of NTs to, that have no interest in having kids and instead want to focus on their interests. So its simply about being a human, not asperger or NT.



qawer
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29 Mar 2013, 6:10 am

Schneekugel wrote:
There are lots of NTs to, that have no interest in having kids and instead want to focus on their interests. *


I would just guess it was more common for asperger people to have these all-consuming intense interests. Those interests that just become your whole life.



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29 Mar 2013, 1:45 pm

I'm married and have kids and don't see this as "NT" or feel as though I have separate NT and aspie sides. If my husband wasn't a BAPpy introvert who understands and accepts me the way I am, our marriage wouldn't work. I'd like to turn my special interests into a career - and am not happy with the idea of not being able to support myself - and I don't think that is an NT thing either. I'm also not sure what you mean by willingly/unwillingly choosing something. For both these reasons, I didn't answer.