People wanting my friendship

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This may sound bad, but I have worked pretty hard at ignoring my 2 friends from childhood for a while and I am at a point where they rarely call and I am glad. It's just a lot of work for me to maintain a friendship and I have no desire for it.

Here recently 2 different people are trying to be my friend.

Person 1 is a guy I buy rats from for my snakes and have done so for a year, but 2 days ago he was being extra friendly and showing me all of his rabbits hamsters and lizards, etc. I dropped hints that I needed to go several times and hw just kept on talking and showing me stuff. An hour and 15 minutes later my wife called and I was actually able to leave and when I was walking out the door he was like "hey we can text or tall some time". I was like "ok man" and left.
Today he sent me a link to a video chat thing for android phones. Nothing else, just the link. Ironically, I revealed to him that I am Aspergers while I was there this time. I wonder if he is too and that's why he wants friendship all of a sudden?

Person 2 works at a cash advance place that I have to visit twice a month. I kept running into this person all over town like fate was forcing us together and then it stopped. Well, today I had to go to my parents house for my nephews birthday party (yuck) and they had invited somw of his friends. When we got there a woman and her 2 kids were there. The whole time I was like "I havw seen these kids." Hours later she said she was going to pick up her husband from work and when she came back it was him!

I was like wtf? So now he has met my entire family and my wife and kids and asked for my number and wants to be friends.

Most people would be happy. I'm stressed. For me it is a lot of work to maintain friendships and I just don't want it, however both of these guys are married with kids and my wife has only one friend thanks to me so she would probably benefit from the relationships.

What do I do? Maybe pick one?
Ahhhh, I just can't handle this and I am kind of freaking out. I am fine with acquaintances, but long term friends, NO!

Advice please.

This is just me. I am not labeling,judging... Good grief I sound like a therapist!
Anyway, do what you are comfortable with.
My best friend from High School was brilliant then. He became an alcoholic. Once a month he calls me and rants. He always ends the conversation with,"I love ya man".
To be honest, when I see his number come up on caller ID I want to not answer. He is no longer brilliant. But I take the call out of respect for our previous *best friendship. Anyway, that is just me. Do what thou wilt.
* I originally wrote "precious ". An accurate Freudian slip! He WAS cool! I remember partying with him and I got his left over chicks! I grew up. He did not. Or at least he did not have a chance to grow up because of the drugs he took.

Last edited by wittgenstein on 13 Jul 2013, 9:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Use your new friends wisely.

Pet Shop Boy seems like he might be useful for discounted pets and pet supplies.

Money Man seems like he might cut you a break if you're a day or two late on a loan.

I strongly disagree. Do not use your friends. If you do (by definition) they are no longer friends.

What else are friends for if not to be used?

I mean, the overwhelming majority of my "friends" all seem to want to use me for rides, loans, labor, petitions, et cetera, so why not return the love and use them?

It's only fair, after all.

There has to be a way to say, "I just don't have the time, sorry." It's the truth: you don't have the time. Just say it.

Lol Money Man and Pet Shop Boy ahahaha. This is exactly how I see them. Ironically my last rat was free, but I would pay not to be around people. He just texted me asking when we were going to hang out.

Geez this would be so much easier if I actually desired friendship. WTF!

My wife wants friends, and at least this way I already know the dude. I have trust issues with other dudes. These are the complications of being married with aspergers.

I understand the philosophical dilemma. We do EVERYTHING for profit. So, even if I give my life for my friends,I am only doing that because it makes me feel proud etc.
However (google,"Derrida love being youtube" I apologize but my computer has a viris and this tablet cannot post links) somethings (like simply Being ) transcends logic!

A very pragmatic philosophy. It works with women also! Embrace aloofness!. Everyone wants what they think they cannot have. Unfortunately, that makes you live a lie. * Good luck with being very clever and not wise.
* OK! I admit id (pun intended), I have never been more joyful then now! Being loved by my wife for who I really am.

Yeah my wife loved me for me before I knew what I was. This is why I'm torn between forming "couple relationships" so she can have a female friend and continuing the way we've been going.

Did she know what you are before you did? And she loved you anyway? Perhaps you should trust her instincts!

Um, not really. But that was a decade ago when panic attacks caused doctors to prescribe me xanax so I was always drinking and what not and the combined effect made me much more ssocial. That being said her love has always been unconditional.

I'm confused. What do you mean by "couple relationships"?

I mean my wife and I being friends with another couple.