Good Article: 15 Things Never Say to an Autistic

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Why is this the only scary one?



I completely don't get that

I'm not sure I do either. Does it mean the other person stepped in the poop?

Probably, I had the idea an aspie would be disgusted that someone would "dispose" of it "properly" maybe? Your version makes more sense

Some others I've encountered are people wanting to tell me all about what they think causes or "cures" autism ("you should try eating a dairy and gluten free diet!" Etc.), being compared to fictional autistic characters, and being asked to "diagnose" other people.

1. Yep
2. Sort of (Just been told I should be proud of myself and I have been told I seem normal and Mom has told me no one will ever guess I have a disability. If that is so true, then why did my husband pick up on it or that one rude real estate person or people underestimating me?)
3. Yes. (It honestly doesn't bother me because I am at the very mild end of the spectrum so I don't have many problems as other people on the spectrum do)
4. Nope.
5. Nope
6. Yes. (I laughed at this one and thought it was a strange question)
7. Nope
8. Nope (It's been the opposite in fact)
9. Not that I recall
10. Nope
11. Not really. (Just been told that for other things but never told it's embarrassing)
12. Nope
13. Yes (This one bothers me because it's hard to answer and it's like asking what is it like to not have it)
14. Nope
15. Yes (People have done this to my husband about me instead of asking me to my face. I am sure it's been done to my parents too except I wasn't next to them but they could have asked me when I was actually there)

Several people told me I would really like the movie about her,that's when I realized I was not very good at hiding who I am. And the indigo child remarks.

I thought the dietary thing was only to do with increased risk to problems like IBS or maybe just something helpful to maybe ADHD but it's not a cure is it lol. I think it funny that the NHS still says "there is no known cure to autism" like they still hope to find one some day.

Number 2 wouldn't offend me. I like (honest) people telling me that I'm normal in some ways and that I am able to blend in and be approachable. The only implication I don't like is, ''you haven't got Asperger's, you're just weird!'' That is an insult. It's a bit like telling someone with problems with their spine, ''your spine is not deformed, you're just a spaz!'' So offensive and upsetting.

I don't like people telling me to be proud of having Asperger's though. Not after all these issues it has caused me in my life. And I especially don't like people convincing me to be proud of having it by saying, ''it does not mean you are stupid'', or start giving me a list of successful people who had Asperger's. That's because I know I am not a genius, I'm only an average intellect. I prefer to hang out with friends than to sit and study. Unfortunately friends are hard to come by when you have Asperger's, which is a big disappointment.

And the maths/science/computers thing really annoys me too. When my computer goes wrong, I don't have a clue of what to do, and there is not another Aspie around who can come round. Instead my NT cousin or my NT brother or my NT uncle or an NT friend comes round and fixes it, and could fix it just as good as an Aspie with good computer skills could. Also I was in the lowest classes for maths and science when I was at school. I am not particularly amazing at anything really.

I went to mainstream school all through my school life, but when I first went on unemployment benefit when I was 18, I saw a disability employment adviser and she immediately assumed I went to a special school without even asking me. She messed my CV (resumé) up because of it, and I had to phone them up and say that I went to mainstream school, so she had to change it. Also I can work. I have a job now and I'm OK.

I do come from a family who are afraid of ridicule (which is probably where I get that fear from aswell). I feel that I am ''not allowed'' to have Asperger's when I'm out in public, according to my family. They don't like the thought of us being gossiped about or people calling me a looney or something. I don't blame them. I don't wish for that either, but they are lucky that I'm mild enough to be responsible for all my actions.

I get really, REALLY offended when people (NT or not) think that people with disabilities aren't really people and are aliens instead. I hate being called ''an alien on the wrong planet'' or whichever way round it is. I am a person, a human, with just a slightly different brain wiring. I am still just as human as the next person.

I've only heard of Temple Grandin here on WP. I don't exactly know who he or she is and what he or she does. It's just a name I see everywhere on Autism forums. I should look it up some time.

And lastly (sorry to go on), I absolutely hate it when people go to ask me something like begin as, ''do you...?'' then look at the person next to me and say, ''does she..................?'' Hello? I can answer, I am not deaf!

I get number 9 a lot. I don't take medicine, and I don't have a specialized diet to manage my symptoms. Usually, plenty of sleep and down time is more than enough for me.

What irritates me about it is that most of the people I tell about my Autism automatically assume I take a trillion medications. I understand that other people benefit from having those medications, but I have never needed them.

I get variants of 2 and 3. I don't get 11 per se, but I do have people comment on my various stims (e.g. "What are you doing with your hand?"). I'm not offended easily, so I usually use those sorts of comments as an opportunity to set the record straight. The one thing that does bug me, though, is when people use "autistic" as an insult, as if it should be something to be ashamed of.

I suppose it depends on how these questions are asked. If they are asked in a critical way, where you get that feeling that they are put off of you before they've even gotten to know you and then you feel rejected, then I don't like it. When they are being asked in a nicer way, like smiling and a more ''upbeat'' kind of tone, I can deal with it and we can laugh it off and forget about it.

See, this is where other people on the spectrum often get me wrong. Most Autistic people think that every person with ASDs can't read any non-verbal social cues at all, like body language or tone of voice. In other words apparently we can't read between the lines. It may be true for some, but not all. Some of us can catch on to hidden messages, by instinct.

#7 really bugs me, as I have some degree of discalculia. It has made a lot of problems for me. In school, I was in all the gifted classes except math, in which I took remedial classes. People presumed I was simply lazy and could be a mathematical genius if I really wanted. AAAARGH!

I've heard just about all of them, especially about medication and about seeming so normal.

I don't disclose any more, even in situations where it's probably relevant (doctors, kids' pediatrician, kids' teachers).

I avoid leaving the house. It's just too stressful...

...and the sad thing is, it's not the noise and sensory input. It's not keeping track of the kids. It's being constantly worried about whether the kids are well-behaved enough, whether I look normal enough, whether we're good enough.

It's like every day is some Fitter Families contest from the 1920's.

My therapist says eugenics is dead, and I shouldn't be so worried. REALLY???