Where we fit into the world

Post Reply New Topic

I was thinking. Several years ago I lived in an RV park in a small town. The park owner's new wife had a son. The son had some sort of issue. While he was large and strong, he could not understand complex issues. I recall his mother telling him once what to do, and why she needed it done, to which he responded: "Mom, that's too much, don't tell me why, just tell me what you need done." This man will have a tough time in our world.
Then I think of Lucas McCain's Northfork. Back then a man with an inability to grasp the complex, but gifted with not only a strong back, but honesty and an urge to do the job, would have gotten along quite nicely. He could have been a ranch or farm hand, a blacksmith, he could have done odd jobs for all the businesses in town. and before flash cars and big screens, he'd have done pretty well too.
Northfork was a meritocracy. The primary issues in normal life were to get the job done and to be honest. Our society has changed. Now whether the issue is that a business cannot hire a person like the above due to minimum wage, tax documentation, insurance and benefits or whatever, or whether the trouble is this young man's lack of personal political accumen, there is no place.
Larry the Cable Guy has a motto: "Git R Done!" this is simplistic, far too simplistic for our modern times. We do not live to Git r Done anymore. Now it is office politics for some, and a big hollow smiley "would you like to supersize your order?" for others. Git R Done is for fat slovenly rednecks like Larry the Cable Guy. The powerful in our society don't have to get much done. We idolize Niles Crane.
A am an Aspie, and whereas my abilities are of the mind, not the back, my philosophy is too very simple: "Git r Done, and be honest." And just like the young man I mentioned above, I find that this lifestyle (I hate that word, but it fits) does not work well for me.
In Northfork I would have found a place too. Eccentricity was more acceptable when merit was the standard. I could've been the prim and proper school marm. Another couldd've been the gunsmith or the banker. All pulled their weight. None was much wealthier than any other. If you could git r done, you had value.
We have become a "sophisticated" society in which such a simple creed does not suffice. Honesty can get a person into trouble. the lack of political ability will almost certainly consign a person to a lower caste in the office. People are as homogeneous and fungible as light bulbs and AA cells. One burns out, pull it and pop in a new one. and conformity is required.
As people then fail to fit in we arrive at more and more "diagnosis" to explain why that poor soul does not quite fall into place.
Many of these mental issues involve anger. Would the young man above - who certainly had such anger trouble - feel so bad in Northfork? Back then no matter which job he would have taken he could have supported himself. While he probably would have been aware of his inability he also would have known his abilities and the fact that he is vauled for his tenacity and work ethic and honesty. He could have lived independently and with pride. How much anger would he have needed?
Personally, I am accutely aware that while I can and do Git R Done, that my place in the modern world is quite marginal. I too find some anger, at the world for not seeing my value, and at muself for my continuing inability to play the game. the great game that decadent society is. A return to a meritocracy cannot solve the problems of all. Some are unfortunately so handicapped in whatever way that these will require love and assisitance. This must be offered. But how many of us could fit in just fine, if merit was the measure?

I have some concerns about our (USA)economic trends and the marginilzation of many people,not just AS.There is trend towards the concept of the "team player" vs the individualism of the past.Social skills are more important in the increasing service sector vs the farm, factory,construction,hands on type jobs of the past.Many of which have been out sourced or now low paying and filled by legal or "illegal" aliens.many of the personal care assistence jobs have been recently filled by bringing in workers from other countries and this trend has basically frozen wages/benifits in these fields.It is not that americans dont want these jobs....they just dont want to be exploited.

once apon a time,individuals could apprentice at a job and learn by watching and doing.Now,many of the same jobs require at least a two year diploma,expensive certification tests and even require the individual to work for free for a year to get experience credits.Less people in the work force further depresses wages and creates an "indebt work force" that cant afford to not take the 60-80 hour salary positions to pay off their school loans.This doesnt just effect AS but people who just dont learn well useing books and tests and many people who have physical/psychological challenges..Ever try to work a 40 hour job,go to school and raise a few kids.....well,thats what our president is saying is our future.Hope you have unlimited energy or a rich daddy(like he had).Class warfar is happening and the majority of our country is so oblivous that they believe their real enemy is terrorism.

Now I feel like I'm in an alternate universe to our alternate universe. First off, let me say that I grew up in a small town (think 2,000 people in ten sq miles) where people either farmed or worked in the car factories two hours away. They didn't let outsiders in there until the Amish came along and they were cool with them. So now, there are farmers, auto workers who drive two hours to work and the Amish. There was no place for a woman there who wanted to use her brain, especially if she didn't want children. My aunt was married, could play any instrument if she heard a song even once and had no children. Her husband protected her, but needless to say, she was not all that acceptable to them. The teachers there did their best to educate me and I still think part of that was to get me out of there because I had no place in a town like that. It's definitely a place where your skill gets you notice, but it still has to be a skill they accept and for a woman? Yeah, right. Your options are limited and not having babies is not one of them. So, I don't have these euphoric or nostalgic feelings about those places and times at all. I probably would have offed myself in a time like that. I certainly would't have conformed because I've always been more of the "I'd rather be dead than do something just to get along" type.


I find it very easy to be out in the "big" world. To me, there is a freedom in people not really knowing me too well. They may know I'm strange, but their polite distance keeps them away. I think part of this is the fact that I don't really care about people, so I don't miss being around them. Somehow, in spite of my strangeness, I've ended up promoted over and over again at my jobs. I hate it. I hate management. Basically, they promote me out of my comfort zone and eventually I leave. I think it's because I am really good at saving money and managing projects. I manage by project, not by people. I don't care if they do their work at midnight hanging from the ceiling by their toenails as long as it gets done. So people like to work for me and higher ups put up with my strangeness because I'm efficient. It doesn't matter, I still leave. I won't do any work that requires me to socialize at that level. I don't care how good I am at it or how much the company and people like it. I don't like it, so I won't do it for long. Unfortunately, it keeps happening and the NTs never get that I actually can't stand it.

Despite that, I've managed to get along for 22 years writing tech doc and working with geeks. I never have trouble getting work, I'm usually turning it down. I work for a huge corporation right now (400,000 employees) and I'm fine. This place loves my unending supply of knowledge about this type of business. They love that I can remember what fields look like in the code and what values are attached to each, their conditions, etc. I think they leave me alone because of it. (I have a feeling they are getting ready to promote me, but I'm hoping it isn't true).

Yes, I do get pressure at work to socialize, but I won't. It's that simple. I just won't do it. I've gotten to an AVP level without it and even if I hadn't, I still wouldn't do it because they don't have the money to make me want to do it. That kind of money just does not exist.

My neighbors see me open the garage door and disappear only to reappear when I go to work. That's the extent of my interaction with them. I'm sure they wonder how my husband deals with that, but they don't bother me. I've run into instances where the neighbors just won't leave me alone. Then, we have to move far away from them. For the most part, today's society is kind of an alienated society. They plug into their TVs and computers and don't come out. That suits me just fine.


In all honesty, I think as our society becomes more and more isolated, Aspies will begin to dominate. Things in our society are becoming more and more specialized. That appeals to Aspies, not NTs. Our society spends more and more time alone rather than with family and friends. That is more of an Aspie thing than an NT thing. NTs are becoming more and more disaffected in the work place due to rapid technical changes that make their old jobs obsolete. They have a hard time in a global world where the people they work with daily are never seen and go to work thousands of miles away. There's far less tolerance in corporate America for workers who want to just get along and retire. The paradigm has shifted and now they want people who learn new things quickly and don't need to socialize because that is time away from work. NTs hate those environments and don't do well in them. Aspies do much better in that. They absorb new topics totally and completely. They focus on work rather than people because it's easier for them. I don't believe it is a mistake that Silicone Valley is full of Aspies, I think it's logical. If this trend continues, Aspies will become the majority because of natural selection. They'll be better suited to an isolated, technical environment. Even communication, that has shifted to more of email, texting, etc. is better suited to us because we already don't need to "see" someone. NTs aren't as comfortable with it. We excel at it better than we do in a verbal world.


That's what I see happening and have for years. It will be interesting to see how it plays out. I'll just keep watching it here in this laboratory they call my work place.


By the way, my professional aspiration when I was young was to be Emily Dickinson. My best friend's father was a trust fund kid with five houses who let writers and painters live in them. I always thought I would do that. Instead, I met my husband and he messed everything up!

Larry the Cable Guy is, without a doubt, my least favorite member of the Blue Collor Comedy team. I like Ron White. Jeff Foxworthy and Bill Engvall are just marginal, while LTCG is slovenly, foul, and makes fun of the handicapped. I think that's insulting. "Git 'r done!" has to be one of the most annoying expressions I've heard. I agree with you. It's way too simplistic.

All I am saying, by long route, is that i think that as soon as "normal" was defined, so was abnormal. further, I think that the range of normalacy continues to narrow. I would place this narrowing less at the hands of mindbenders than at our industrial society that would make a useful production unit out of all of us: and wants these units to be interchangabel.
I notice that we are definitely not interchangable.

I really don't know much to say about this issue but I only like Jeff Foxwerthy of Blue Collar TV

Put me in another factory, and I will barely get noticed.