can people with autism be good at dealing with the public

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i am a high-functioning autistic woman and i don't have any friends (except for one stupid clingy hyperactive woman who i don't want), but i have always been good with dealing with the public.

every time theres a new bus driver started, the boss usually puts them with me to train them on the routes because he says i am a good example of somebody who can deal with the passengers properly, which teaches the new drivers how to deal with certain situations with passengers. i am assertive too, and dont usually take s**t from anyone .

but i have trouble with friends. well, i suppose if i tried harder i might get myself some friends but i dont want friends.

so is there anyone else on the autism spectrum who dislike/have trouble socialising but dont have any trouble or anxiety dealing with the public?

It makes sense to me that you are good at communicating with clear purposes for your job, but not good at or not interested in making friends. People with autism can be good at certain forms of communication, and bester than NTs in certain areas.

I envy you. I absolutely lack assertiveness. I could never do any job that requires interaction with the public.

I function absolutely fine in 'public' settings and even better than most. I'm terrific at group presentations, talks, speeches, group sharing, performing, etc. I'm into musical theatre and go to auditions and perform in shows on a regular basis. I'm great at selling myself to an interview panel. It's the smaller settings, personal or intimate interactions and one to one contact that I have immense difficulty with. For example, while most people would rather have an interview with one person, I would have a hard time with that and prefer a large panel. Go figure.

Edit: I also find it easier to interact with new people who I don't know because there are more possible topics than with someone you've spoken to before, and they also don't have any prior ideas or expectations about you based on your lack of skills or bad days in the past.

Last edited by banana247 on 30 Dec 2013, 4:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Nope, I can do it, but how well depends on what I'm expected to do.

I cannot run up to a complete stranger and start selling them something.

However, if they ask me questions, I can certainly answer and conduct a conversation. I cannot conduct two or three conversations at once.

I've been told by repeat customers that they come back to me specifically because my manner is calm and friendly and I don't make them nervous, like others have done.

But there is always anxiety, whether it's a front and center Anxiety Attack, or just background tension that leaves me feeling physically exhausted and emotionally drained at the end of the day. Socializing, especially with strangers, is an effort and every second feels like walking a tightrope. It's always a tremendous relief when it's over.

The same here. I could never work in sales, but I managed working in customer service for a while and never had customer complaints. My husband mentioned the other day how a lot of people have described me as "so nice". He then shot me an accusing glance, because he knows better.

Umm, you've already proven it to yourself that an Autistic person can be good with dealing with the public... because you are.

I've held many customer service & sales jobs and have done well at them and been complimented on my abilities to deal with the public. That's not to say they were completely without difficulties or frustration, but by and large I've done well dealing with the public. During times I was very antisocial, I simply worked jobs that required very little interaction with others - simple as that.

Most people have anxiety when dealing with public because no body is really comfortable when they know they will be judged and exposed, and that is what you are in public. It's matter of practice, and, like anything else, it becomes habitual and automatic after some time.
I've been working in sales, it was terribly difficult at first, even though communication was via phone, I really lagged behind everyone else, and I was sort of a comedy for social chit-chats with constant ''he did this, he did that, oh he is so confused''. But I also got support, patience and after some time, my results became rather good.
Later I became moderator at certain public speaking forums. I had to take my medication, because I was shaking all over. Today, I have no problem with that. Anyway, I don't know if real problem has anything to do with ASD or it is simply something comorbid, I remember being very talkative as a child, but, as time after time I experienced rejection, after being a joke for so long, and not understanding why, I simply stopped trying.

I can interact with people as long as I'm basically following a script, and don't have to improvise. I'm okay at business interactions that have a specific purpose, and involve an exchange of necessary information. But when it comes to just talking for the sake of talking (because other people find that fun?) - I have no clue

I like customer service and dealing with the public. Interaction is mostly for a limited time anyway, and it is usually pretty predictable. If the customer has a legitimate problem, I apologize and try to make it good for them. If they are being unreasonable or just being bitchy, I apologize anyway, tell them I can't help then and refer them to a supervisor. That simple.

Training new employees is kind of fun. I have never done a lot of it, because I have never tended to hold jobs long enough to get to that point. Getting along with coworkers is kind of hit or miss for me anyway. They are either my friends or they are my enemies. So I always try to get on the good side of new employees, and help them as much as I can.

My big problem is always with my bosses. I just want to tell them to get out of my face, and let me do my job my way. That doesn't go over very well.

BTW bus driving is some thing I always wanted to do, but never actually applied for. In hind sight I'm pretty happy I didn't. I don't think I could drive and deal with the public at the same time.

Same here. And, on my job, we literally had scripts and we trained what to say for every situation. That experinece was extremely useful for me, I still use those scripts in certain situations.

Script and controlled environment was the whole key in the limited situations I have done this. But it is tiring and if I was feeling just a little off that day Oh boy.

Making and keeping friends continues to be difficult for me, as I always seem to drift away from people eventually, but I've gotten pretty good at "training" myself to deal with certain social situations. I do IT, and have to small talk with co-workers when I'm working on their computers, which I've greatly improved at over the years. On the other hand, I am still easily annoyed by excessively "NT" behavior, and am uncomfortable with non-work related gatherings involving co-workers, such as holiday parties.

I don't hang out with co-workers when I'm not at work, and have almost always made excuses not to when asked. I wouldn't mind making friends, but none of them are really on my wavelength. Usually the ones who want to always hang out with everybody are, by design the most NT of NT's.

The key is control. I can speak to over 1000 people as long as the talk is mine, and I am in control. Afterwards, the small talk with the people is the hardest. But I limit is to "thank you," "Yes, nice weather," "Well, have a nice day, now." Etc. These are skills we can all learn. It's not so bad the more you do it.

I'd say that I'm fine with dealing and interacting with the public when it comes to business. It's just the social things where I am a 100% failure. I was a TV repair technician for many years, and had a very easy time working with customers. I'd go as far as to say that I developed many friendships that way; some of them now still strong at 30 years+. I think the reason is that there is a focus and a goal with any business interaction, and the social crap is not so important in those cases, whereas with social situations, there is no focus, and there is no identifiable place to start, if that makes sense.

Charles

I have worked in sales before and I have proven to myself that I am not the best at interaction with the public. I find it hard to be assertive, and I think I also have that look about me too what makes people think ''I have a good feeling we can haggle with this shop assistant'', and the customers always win because I'm just too timid to argue. It's nothing to do with how well I can read body language, because I can read body language but just have a hard time getting the upper hand with pushy people. I think it's my most social weakness.

Steering clear of working in public settings is probably the best bet for me, although I would like professional practice at it. I would love to become a bus-driver like the OP, but I can't be a bus-driver being this timid. I'm so timid of the general public that it's become rather disabling.

General social interaction with colleagues, on the other hand, is something I enjoy. I am not bad at small talk, and I try to be friendly towards everyone. Some colleagues don't seem to like me, probably because I'm too quiet for them. But they are never nasty, they just don't really speak to me unless they have to. But a lot of colleagues are always nice to me and always like to listen and I do connect emotionally to them, which is nice. If a colleague asked me to meet up with them outside of work, I would be thrilled. Knowing somebody likes me does do my self-esteem good.

But interaction with the public? I'm crap at it. Absolutely s**t at it.