getting frustrated and hitting and throwing.

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ZombieBrideXD
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05 Feb 2014, 6:53 pm

hi this isnt always a symptom or trait of autism, but it does show up often.

i was playing flappy bird on my dads phone, and kept loosing because my hands wouldnt listen to me, so i threw the phone and my dad got really angry at me.

this isnt new, i really cant control it, and if i dont hit or throw something, i meltdown.

how can i channel it. its becoming a problem, and i dont want my dad to get angry at me for it anymore


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Waterfalls
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05 Feb 2014, 7:04 pm

I avoid holding things or touching people when I'm feeling really irritable. I think I get scared and my body prepares to run when I feel that way. So there's not a temptation to throw. Maybe to teach yourself something to do with your hands, either relax them or repetitive movement would help?



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05 Feb 2014, 7:08 pm

Try channeling it into something useful, like hitting a punching bag or sprinting round the block. I find that running helps me burn off most of my meltdown feelings because afterward I'm too tired to get physically violent, and when my actions don't match my thoughts, it's easier to switch the meltdown off. If you need things to do with your hands, tearing up sheets of paper in stacks to give them more resistance can help, as can screwing up and squashing things like soft toys and beanbags, things that won't burst on you when you squeeze them hard. I tend to bite down really hard on my fingers when I'm really angry or gearing up for a meltdown; if you have any tendencies like that, they make rubber chew straws that you can use instead... I may need to look into them before too much longer. Anyway, good luck, meltdowns suck, and people getting mad at you for them definitely doesn't make them any easier.


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Marcia
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05 Feb 2014, 7:12 pm

My son threw his DS across the room and broke it a couple of years ago. He did without his pocket money for the best part of a year until he had enough money saved up to replace it, and he hasn't thrown and broken anything again. He does growl and shout when he's doing badly on a game, or when he can't get his iPad to work properly, but that's as far as it goes.



Waterfalls
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05 Feb 2014, 7:17 pm

Also I would try not to play if it were that difficult unless there were major benefit from playing. Also now that I'm an adult, if the person is reasonable, I try to have a conversation about how I am getting really frustrated and it doesn't seem worth it. And since you seem to get along well with your father, could you maybe ask him to help you notice when you're getting agitated and suggest stopping or changing the activity?



bumble
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05 Feb 2014, 8:08 pm

I don't know.

I try to keep my environment as I need it and tend to stay away from using things I don't want to get upset with when I am in an irritable frame of mind. It doesn't stop it from happening but it does reduce intensity and frequency.



LtlPinkCoupe
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05 Feb 2014, 8:33 pm

When I get frustrated with a game I am playing on my phone (like Candy Crush, Solitaire or Angry Birds) I take a break from it for awhile and do something else. Something I've sort of figured out after downloading these games onto my phone is that the game companies sort of purposely try to make them somewhat difficult and frustrating - I guess so it "hooks you in" and keeps you interested in playing.

As for the hitting and throwing, I've never dealt with that personally, but I agree with the posters who suggested doing something that calms your hands, instead. My therapist gave me two stones last week that I find very helpful in relaxing my hands and helping me not to bite or pick at my nails and cuticles. I even use the stones as a stim of sorts, now. :D Maybe something like smooth stones or small plushies to hold would help.


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micfranklin
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06 Feb 2014, 8:11 am

Playing video games and having situations that shouldn't happen occur through some miracle or bad clipping error is a good way to get me to throw my controller at the TV. Luckily I haven't broken the damn thing yet.



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06 Feb 2014, 8:19 am

My daughter has similar issues. When she starts to get frustrated, I repeat with her "games are meant to be fun. When it isn't fun anymore, stop playing." We have done this so many times that the script is starting to get ingrained. Try something similar. When it stops being fun, remind yourself that you should stop playing for awhile. Part of this is learning your own early warning signs of frustration.

This is actually a skill that will serve you well outside of throwing things. It is important for people with impulse control issues to learn to self-monitor and remove triggers on their own before the undesired behavior happens. It takes discipline, but it is well worth the effort in terms of allowing yourself a greater deal of independence.


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GivePeaceAChance
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06 Feb 2014, 8:56 am

I don't play games just because they are so frustrating

I have even stopped using virtually all things on my phone except for calls , text and the map feature (it cost me $100 even though insured when I broke it throwing it across the room at a hospital when it told me I was in a city 400 miles away and adamantly refused to let me tell it where I really was AND I needed to know where a pharmacy was)

part of what I do is just remove stressors from life, if it CAN lead to a meltdown, I don't do it (except being on forums, as much as I despise my ^&#$%&^&%^& computer I need to be on forums since people won't talk to people IRL in the @#$^%@#$% 21st century anymore) if I could I would throw it out even.


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06 Feb 2014, 9:15 am

I have the same problem.
Yesterday I went home from karate and I saw on a teen website I usually check out some stuff about feminine girls and dates and relationships and I got frustrated and angry and I started screaming then I took my bra and I threw it on the floor and I yelled that I wasn't going to put it on anymore (not that I need it, I am almost flat-chested) then I punched the door and went on like this for a while.
It lasted a few minutes then I laughed and I was calm and in a good mood for the rest of the evening. My parents were upset after this rage outburst.



micfranklin
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06 Feb 2014, 9:37 am

It's not limited to just games. I remember a while back I ordered something from McDonalds for lunch, drove off and got halfway back to work when I checked and didn't get exactly what I asked for, so I punched my steering wheel in frustration. Perhaps I should just check my meal before pulling off.



GivePeaceAChance
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06 Feb 2014, 9:41 am

^^^ yes, I try to structure my life against surprises - especially things like checking food orders, all of mine are special orders so I have to.

not always successful but it does mean fewer


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ZombieBrideXD
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06 Feb 2014, 11:06 am

video games arent the only thing that frustrates me either, its anything i cant understand or control


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