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Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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Joined: 18 Jan 2014
Age: 34
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10 Feb 2014, 12:22 am

I feel like my family has neglected me over the years.

I was moved a lot and never really given a proper home until about 16. I have lived in the same area for almost 10 years now. I feel like my lack of long lasting friendships is due to all the moving around as a kid because by the time my family were settled I was about to graduate high school.

Also, my family generally is embarrassed of me. My sister has told me that in words. My brother never really hangs out with me and my dad doesn’t talk to me. My mom is really the only one that acknowledges I exist. I feel like because I have autism they basically try to ignore my existence. Looking back I think my family is in major denial about me having autism. They are really secretive. Basically, my family treats my like a joke and even tells other friends and family not to believe the things I say. I’m starting to think they are very manipulative.

I kinda feel like enough is enough. I can’t really talk to my family with out them rolling their eyes at me. I have talked to a few neighbors and I think a lot of people are impressed with me with out my parents “spin” on me. My parents tend to have have their own idea of who I am which is a complete misconception.

I’m a grown adult now, 24, but I just feel like they treated me pretty poorly under the circumstances. I’m almost 100% sure I have autism and they just kinda acted like “whatever”.

Anyone have similar stories? I would like to hear them!



Widget
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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Joined: 30 Dec 2013
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10 Feb 2014, 7:18 am

I just wanted to offer some support the way that my family usually does, which is by attempting to challenge and delegitimize any negative feelings or opinions.



Waterfalls
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10 Feb 2014, 7:56 am

It is very hard to get past that people I would like to be close to are embarrassed by me. It won't fix it to get away, but maybe you can spend more time around other people? Because it doesn't sound like your family is changing their minds and starting to like and respect you more.



Jensaarai
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11 Feb 2014, 5:01 am

I'm not about to tell my story here...
All I'm gonna say is this...
Family is more than blood and a similar DNA code...
There are people out there that accept, value and even celebrate what we are...
You just need to find em...
THEY are family, as far as I am concerned...

Good hunting *salutes*


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Jensaarai
Butterfly
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Joined: 3 Feb 2014
Age: 47
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11 Feb 2014, 5:01 am

I'm not about to tell my story here...
All I'm gonna say is this...
Family is more than blood and a similar DNA code...
There are people out there that accept, value and even celebrate what we are...
You just need to find em...
THEY are family, as far as I am concerned...

Good hunting *salutes*


_________________
"Moral absolutism is the last refuge of the intellectually bankrupt"


em_tsuj
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11 Feb 2014, 5:15 am

I felt rejected by my mom's side of the family and felt bitter about it for a long time.

I had to change my definition of family. Family are the people who accept me and support me. I acknowledge family members who are nice and I don't have a relationship with those who aren't.

I'm not angry now. As strange as it seems, I understand how uncomfortable it can be to deal with a person who is different with a lot of physical and mental health problems. I see it from their point of view. I can't label them bad people, just normal, not knowing how to deal with me. That doesn't mean that I am all lovey-dovey with them. It just means I don't hate them anymore.



Waterfalls
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11 Feb 2014, 11:39 am

I can understand how difficult it might feel to deal with this. But as a mom I can't accept it. Maybe that's wrong but I can't accept or forgove this. Because I don't want to do what was done to me. And I try my hardest not to.



Tahitiii
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11 Feb 2014, 11:48 am

Widget wrote:
I just wanted to offer some support the way that my family usually does, which is by attempting to challenge and delegitimatize any negative feelings or opinions.

Gaslighting.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting

I've been looking for a word like this just about all my life, and just found it last summer.
Having a simple word helps. Without the word, just describing the ploy is disorienting.