Asperger's and a Kitten

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So, since I have no friends at all and am just so sick of being so lonely I got myself a cat. Well, a kitten at the moment. He's an adorable little British Shorthair and after only a week of having him I love him so much already. But, he's a kitten and I'm struggling with dealing with all the 'kitten stuff'. As in, the constant need for attention, the constant crying the moment I leave the room, the fact that he wakes me up during the night every half an hour or so and the fact that he seems to prefer to pee on my my nice soft blanket instead of his litter box most of the time.

Daily life generally sets me off into a meltdown about once a week or two. But, since he's come home I'm having them every day. Today was the worst because just as I crawled into bed to hide under that glorious softness of my blanket I find a wet patch and know what it is as he sits by my bed meowing and crying at me again the sound seeming to amplify in my stressed mind. I can't do this. But, he's my only friend and I love him but he's making my anxiety skyrocket rather than help me. I just want him to be the cuddly adult that's quite happy to sit around and sleep and laze all day.

Anyone else been through raising a kitten? Any tips for me that I could use so that I come out of this still somewhat sane? Maybe I just wanted to tell someone that I'm not doing okay. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you all.

Not sure what you can do about the housebreaking - Google can probably give you some solid results - but there's this pretty good video on getting your cat to leave you alone at night (granted, it'll take a couple weeks).

I gather your baby cat is very young. When we got our first one he was only about 5 weeks old and covered in fleas. I had to wash him about 8 times the first night and hold him and keep him warm in towels in a box and ended up resorting to shaving him the next day. It was a trip.

Anyway, I had to keep him locked in the bathroom to prevent spreading fleas or fleas eggs about the house. He was so little, he didn't know how to use the litter box. I had to show him what to do. There was one or two places in the bathroom where he tended to pee. I put some unscented litter on waxed paper plates with raised edges in those corners he liked to go in. If I remember correctly, he avoided those plates at first but as soon as I saw him about to pee, I gently picked him up and put him in the litter. When he was done peeing, I showed him with my hands how to cover it up. He got the hang of it after a few days. Never force him to stay in the litter. The thing with cats is that you can't punish or get upset with them for peeing elsewhere; it like freaks them out and overloads their brain. He'd meow a lot in the bathroom wanting attention so I frequently went in to sit with him and love on him. Some people might think it's inhumane to keep him quarantined like that but if the fleas had a chance to scatter or drop eggs everywhere, I'd have had to poison the house. He was also so tiny that he could get hurt in the house under the reclining couch or wherever and I had a two-year-old who would be too rough. It was the best for his safety. He was kept there for about a week til I was reasonably sure the fleas were gone; then I let him loose in other rooms for periods being very conscious of where he was.
Our cats seem to avoid the heavily perfumed cat litters. I can't stand the smell of scented litter either and imagine with a cat's senses the perfume is even worse and probably sickening to them. It seems your baby likes soft stuff and may have an aversion to coarse or rough litter. There is some alternative litter made from finely shaved pine and other types of wood that he might prefer. I don't know the brand name. It's not very good at clumping and might cost a little more than the clay but as he gets older you might be able to transition him to another cheaper type of litter. The natural smell of the pine may help him be more attracted to the litter box. Keep the litter box in the same place until he develops a habit of using it. If then you need to move it, move it somewhere more convenient for you but within sight of where it was before and show the cat where you put it by setting him in the litter and walking away. It's fine if he jumps out. You are just showing him where it is. I would also suggest you restrict his range in the house for now to say one room where you plan to have your litter box permanently located until he gets the hang of using the box. Keep your blanket somewhere he can't be so that he doesn't have that option to pee on it and so that you don't have that anxiety and annoyance.

When you pet him, pretend you are his mother; imagine you are a cat and are licking him the way a mom cat would lick their baby as you pet him.

Good luck. I am sure others will have some good advice too.

It does take a while for them to grow up and get their mature chilled out behaviours.
From my experience cats/kittens pee on furniture when they are stressed. You could try making sure your bedroom door is shut at all times until your kitty has worked out wher and how to use its little box. I know there is nothing worse than having your bed and blankets peed on!

You could try getting a sheepskin for it to sleep on. My last kitten absolutely loved our sheepskin and she would massage and clean it like it was her mummy!

Good luck, I hope she/he settles down for you soon.

Need for attention?
- Play with the kitten till it collapses. When it's sleeping you have free time.

Crying when you leave the room?
- Let it cry for a few minutes and then return to the room. Gradually increase the time. The cat will soon understand you are not disappearing forever and crying doesn't help so it will stop crying.

Night wakening?
- My cats are not allowed to sleep with me. I keep them in bed when I am reading but once I decide to fall asleep cats end up in the hall and I ignore them. They were meowing up to 20 mins at first but they were always giving up in the end. Right now my cats no longer even meow when I kick them out of my room.

Peeing in weird places?
- Little kittens need more than one cats toilet because they are not aware they need to pee before its too late and when it happens they just go to any cat toilet-like place they can see since they can't hold it in long enough to figure out where the actual litter box was. Till the kitten gets old enough put one or two temporary cat toilets near the places where the cat sleeps and plays. Especially near the bed it currently chosen as its peeing spot.
Changing litter type might also help.

Last edited by Kiriae on 15 Mar 2015, 9:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

He sleeps on my bed at night which is when I feel loneliest so I'm okay with him sleeping with me. He does it when I'm in the room with him during the day. He follows me everywhere but all it takes is for me to look the other way for a moment and he's done it...

The litter tray is in the bathroom right next to my room where I sleep. Maybe I should put one in my room too? I'm not keen on the idea though of having a tray next to my bed and on carpet though.

He's 9 weeks old now. Sorry I should have put that in the first post.

Thank you all for the replies and advice. I think though that I'll just have to 'get over it' and all that and just wait it out for a year or two. :/

Unfortunately thats what you need to do. If the litter box is in different room the kitten can't see it so it is unaware it is there (for little kittens world is "out of sight, out of mind").

You can use some paper or cloth to save the carpet. And honestly, having litter box in your room for a while is no worse than sleeping on a mattress full of cats pee (you can't wipe it all).

The litter box won't stay there for too long. Most kittens aged 3,5-4 months are using cats toilets in another room perfectly fine. Just kittens 3 months old and younger have problem with it. So the toilet will be there for just a few weeks. And you will be moving it little by little towards the bathroom every a few days (when you remove the temporary one you will want the cat to look for litter box in the bathroom, not in your room) so it won't be close to your bed for long.

9 weeks old kitten is still a baby(2-3 year old human child). Usually you don't separate a kitten from its mother till it is 12 weeks old(about 4-5 year old human child). At age 4 months it is like 7 year old human child so it is pretty self-sufficient. And at age of 5 months you no longer have to worry about it because it is like 9 year old human child then. It still needs supervision when it plays (stupid ideas) but it can take care of itself perfectly fine. Next behavioral problems start when it becomes a teenager (9-12 months) and its hormones tick (female will cry out loud, male will pee on stuffs). But you avoid it by taking cat to the vet for surgery when it is like 7-8 months old.

Last edited by Kiriae on 15 Mar 2015, 10:09 am, edited 1 time in total.

I agree about putting a litter in your room. If you see him peeing pick him up and put him in his litter.
This kitten stage is very brief. Stick with him, he'll mellow once he's settled.

And about the night: If you insist on letting the cat sleep with you just follow the advice of Sino's video. Play with the cat and feed it before you go to bed and if the cat wakes you up in middle of night do your best to ignore it and pretend you are sleeping. It will stop waking you up when it realize it you don't pay attention to whatever it is doing.

How it works depends on the cat though. All cats should stop waking you up after a while but some cats are pretty stubborn about what they do when you don't control them. One of my cats was never intentionally waking me up but he insisted on sleeping on my head which I hated. That's why I decided "No more cats in my bed when I am sleeping".