Suspected ASD, Don't know what to do. (19y/o Male)

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Sorry if this is a topic often covered, or if I've posted in the wrong section of the forum (this is the first post I have ever made on a forum).

I am a 19 year old male and I suspect I have ASD, but discussions with my girlfriend and parents have resulted in me being laughed at, and I am afraid to go to a doctor and be told I'm fine.

I was put into counselling as a child (I was bullied verbally and physically and would refuse to go to school) and again in high school for anger issues (I didn't get along with most of my teachers who thought I was 'smart but incredibly lazy and disorganized' and would often yell at me). I used to cry and break things when I became overwhelmed, but have since started needing to be by myself and not be spoken to or touched, until I am ready to come out again. This need to hide usually comes about when somebody yells at me or when I am forced into a situation I am not comfortable with (which others find to be pathetic and self centered, such as having to go somewhere without warning).

I have many of the typical traits associated with aspies: the lack of facial expressions, difficulty with eye contact, and monotone voice (including during sex, much to the chagrin of my girlfriend), narrow field of interests that I am very passionate about (I am also unable to focus on things I don't find interesting, which I believe is why I did badly in my end of high school exams despite knowing the material). I also have difficulty maintaining a conversation and often don't notice when I am expected to speak in an argument. I am also very introverted, have trouble making and keeping friends, and even the thought of going to a cashier makes me nervous (thank god for self service lanes).

These things are putting a huge strain on my personal and professional life. I can't find a job in my country town because it is all chain stores that only hire young, cheap workers, local businesses, pubs and banks, many of which I have applied to and either not heard back from, or unimpressed at an interview despite being more than qualified for the job (most interviewers say the only requirement is a basic knowledge of computers, and I have built my own gaming rig and know how to use it). The thought of working in a position that requires constant interaction with strangers terrifies me, and back problems (Scheuermann's disease and ankylosing spondylitis) rule out manual labour.

Many of my relationship issues are with my girlfriend, as I am unable to explain, nor express, my thoughts and feelings. Often things I say contradict what I meant or words I use have connotations I was unaware of. She constantly says things like "it's like I'm lecturing a petulant child every time I try to talk to you", "I'm sick of having to be your mother and helping/making you ----- (usually something to do with conversations or interacting with strangers)", "You are such a child", "You're a *expletive* adult, talk to me like you're one" and things of that nature.

I have tried to explain my issues with strangers to both my girlfriend and my parents, and both think I'm either lying because I'm lazy or that I should just "get over it". There are many more issues I have, but these are the most pressing at the time of writing.

To summarise (in case I failed to explain the point): I think I may have ASD, or at least have many symptoms of ASD, but with no support from family or my girlfriend (I have no other friends anymore), I am scared to go to a doctor and be rebuffed because I haven't expressed myself properly, or because they, like my family, think there is nothing wrong and I need to get over it (my mother and I have had this experience with several doctors with our genetic spine issues). I am also scared of being right, because although knowing would help ease some of my pain, I would still have the issues and would be unable to "get over it" (which I have been trying). Either way, I feel I have a long and hard road ahead, and would like some advice.

Again I apologise if I have broken any rules, made no sense or wasted your time, or used the wrong terminology in relation to Aspergers/ASD. Thank you, however, for reading.

Talk to a psychologist, and see if you can get yourself diagnosed. It won't hurt to try. Granted, I don't know what it takes to get diagnosed as an adult, as I was diagnosed as a child, but I'm sure some of the other members here would be able to give you some advice on how to go through with it.

No you haven't broken any rules.

You do seem to have quite a few common ASD traits, but of course no one can give you a diagnosis online. If you can afford a visit to a psychologist, maybe it would help you figure out whether you have ASD or other "condition". Either way tho, feel free to join the discussions here, and there is also plenty of videos and information if you are interested.

And welcome to WrongPlanet

You certainly sound like a reasonable candidate for an ASD diagnosis: I have many of the problems you mention, such as expressing myself ineffectively, being unable to get a job due to difficulty with interviews, manual labour and constant disruptions in routine, and being made uncomfortable by sudden unexpected changes, and I am diagnosed. Given all of this, I would encourage you to talk to your GP, despite your reservations. You can write a list of your symptoms, and a few examples of ways by which you exhibit those symptoms both now, and throughout your childhood, (brief anecdotes, as it were) and this will help you keep your thoughts in order, and ensure that you say things the way you want to, without forgetting anything. If he is a professional, he will not belittle or dismiss you; he will talk legitimately about your concerns, and (probably) discuss why a referral to a specialist is or isn't a good idea, based on your information (I never went through my GP for my diagnosis, so I'm not 100% sure how that works.)

As for your family members, it can be hard when they refuse to acknowledge you. The biggest problem is probably that they don't know enough about ASDs, and so think you're making your need for accommodation up. Showing them websites, highlighted passages in books (The Complete Guide to Asperger Syndrome by Tony Attwood is supposed to be good), blog posts (insert shameless plug for my blog: theaspierabbit.wordpress.com here) or youtube lectures given by experts will increase their understanding of the disorder, and subsequently hopefully, of you. If it doesn't, you can see if there are any AS groups that meet in your area, and you can find like-minded people to talk to about your difficulties there.

Good luck, and welcome to WP