Stop obsession [Help]

Post Reply New Topic

Hello everyone, I have some great problems when it comes to breaking my obsession with my computer usage and I would like to recieve advice on how to do it.

I want to switch to physics as my main obsession but it's nearly impossible because of my current obsession with computer usage. It's basically all I do everyday (approx 10 hours a day if on a holiday or weekend).

Have you had a obsession with something? And if so, how did you get out of that habit?

//Quantum

The end of my obsession as you call it (my Special Interest) sent me to a mental hospital. Because Oracle took over (killed) my Special Interest - Sun Microsystems!! ! COMPUTERS!! ! UNIX!! !

That's when you know your Special Interest is SPECIAL!! ! Don't believe me??? Check with Saint John of God psychiatric hospital at Burwood!! ! about 24 months ago. I was there and as far as I'm concerned, it was all over!

That's how you know you've really got Special Interests and that you wouldn't wish for them to go.

My Special Interests are my life. They're not a hindrance to my life or an interference. They are my life and I would NEVER wish to get rid of them. They are my life! They are what gives my life meaning! Purpose!

Don't see them like that?! If you don't or you can't, well then, they're not SPECIAL interests!

If they are truely Special Interests, well then you wouldn't even think of asking how to get rid of them!
What you should be trying to work out is how can you work your Special Interests into your life!

Trade your computer for a stack of books of physics. I imagine there are a whole lot of students who would be happy to do that for you.

ImAnAspie: nice Infected Mushroom album cover.

I had some pretty bad obsessions with various things & I quit getting them after I started taking medication for OCD.

Love your comment! Spot on.

I've created a business around one of my two special interests, because I could not work a cookie cutter job. Also need to attend the other special interest at least once per week. I love alternating between my interest in visual formal languages and mathematics and various water sports.

Think it helps to have one interest that involves intense physical activity to complement all the other rather immobile activity. It's like one interest is the fuel needed for top performance in the other.

When separated from my special interests for a week or more I feel like an animal in a cage.

I was looking for a thread like this to post in...and if none existed, I was going to create one myself.

It's all about a little thing called 'psychological dependence' and it's one step away from being a full-blown addiction.

My scenario is this:

For the past 12 years (ever since my divorce), I have been living alone and on my own (up until recently).

Being an ascetic recluse and not having any/many real 'vices', the only things I became really 'attached' to was my small electric fan heater - mostly for the constant, repetitive noise and because it was a source of warmth during the cold winter months.

I also became attached to talkback radio and if I ever did go out anywhere, the very first thing I would do is to fill up on crustaceans from the first seafood shop I passed...I have a weak spot for prawns, crab, lobster etc..

I also needed two showers a day...one in the morning to 'wake me up' and another in the evening to 'relax me'.

Just little things that certain people like to indulge in...little 'luxuries' that broke up the monotony and boredom of being very lonely and very poor.

Now, I am staying with my family and they are trying to 'save money' so my little fan heater is totally out of the question (even though I live in their garage and it went down to -2 last night) and I am only allowed to have a hot shower once every three days.

I am allowed to have my laptop, but they prefer it if I use battery power as well as AC.

Now, I have offered to pay an extra $50/wk or pay 1/4 of their power-bill for the luxury of having a heater, but they will allow an electric blanket only...so I can only be warm in bed and nowhere else...that offer was unacceptable on BOTH sides.

They said 'it's not about how much money you give us, it is all about saving it'.,

I ended up sneaking in a small heater anyway and I have even found a 400 watt one and I have hot showers when they are all out and I have been left with the house keys.

I also went out today to take my mother shopping (first time out in a fortnight) and, of course, paid $30 for a feed of the best ocean tucker available - much to the total disgust of my mother, who was like 'that money would have fed me for a week...you are nothing but a spendthrift...'

Now, I realise I have a problem...in essence, I am addicted to heaters, hot water and crustaceans...so I cannot just go 'COLD turkey', you know? I need help in overcoming these things and going without 'luxuries' so I don't continue to piss other people off...

...but how? where do I go to explain these addictions? because everybody would just laugh at me. lol

I don't think you can "force" yourself to have special interests or out of special interests, all you can do is train yourself to spend less time on them if it's detrimental to your life or work (or, even better, turn them into a career). Usually, when I do manage to grow out of my special interests, I just literally drop them cold from one day to the next and I don't feel like I need them at all nor miss them anymore. And this is generally accompanied by the fact that I've developed another special interest to replace the previous one. Some special interests never go away though. I have no middle ground, I'm either obsessed and totally consumed by my them or nothing. And I know that's "pathological" to most people and that I should be more "balanced and well rounded", but if they make me happy, I don't see the point of forcing myself to be balanced and well rounded just to be miserable because I can't pursue my interests. But I don't seek out those special interests consciously, they just "happen". So I don't know that you can force yourself to switch from one to another. If you really were into physics it would be no effort at all because it would just take over your life. Maybe it's just not the right interest for you. Why do you want to get into physics?

Your family does not seem to be supportive. They seem to want to control you rather than help you. I hope you are not being exploited.

To me all the things that you describe seem to be the little routines that you need to survive. I would not call these addictions. According to the broad definition of addiction that you attempt to apply to yourself, I would be addicted to a lot of things: green tea (okay I think that's a real addiction), oats (my diet is very repetitive and simple), the Internet, my entire breakfast routine (I need an hour or so or I'll just not feel right), brushing teeth, a heater as well, a number of stims that I do throughout the day, etc. I guess you get the picture. All perfectly harmless routines.

The only thing that may be of potential concern is the money you end up spending on ready-made seafood. Perhaps you would spend less by preparing the food yourself?

I really, really have to agree with this.


I dont think the problem is HAVING a specific special interest.... moreso, it's a problem relating to self-control.

Using myself as an example, my special interest is gaming; side interests in general, which are also pretty big, are computers and animals. But it's the gaming that takes up the most time, and I have nothing BUT free time, so it can add up.

However, despite that, I still force myself to do other things as well. Every day, I drive out, a good 20 minutes distance at 50 MPH or so, and stop by my mom's house briefly for a visit, and also stop by my grandma's place on some days as well. Always a stop at the gas station to get a fountain drink. I'll often go down to the store, either to get something, or sometimes just to browse things. I try to remember to take a walk most nights as well, though this depends on how much pain I'm having at the moment and my mood. And the blasted weather. I also read alot of books. And so on.

Now, that's not to say that it's EASY to deal with this aspect. For example, right now I'm interested in learning Java, as I've always had an interest in programming, but the gaming is making it hard, as I end up spending too much time on it, not enough time on the coding. I'm determined to manage it though, which is also an important part of it. Stay determined, and think positive... these are important for maintaining self-control.

It can be hard.... but you can do it. You dont have to give up your special interest to do other things, you just have to force yourself to step away every now and then and do something else. You can always go back to your special interest a couple of hours later, or whatever, as it's likely not going anywhere.

I am not being exploited here, but whenever I whine about it, it's like..."why must you make this all about you? we have all had to tighten our belts here and I cannot shower every day nor use a heater either".

....but they have a huge, ducted fireplace inside.

They are also very quick to point out that no matter where I go, I will be 'controlled' because it is human nature to exert influence and control over their fellow man...and who gets to do all the 'controlling'? the ones who have the most money and this is why it needs to be saved.

I guess the point I am trying to make, is that other people will always say that you are 'addicted' to something if their own selfish needs are not being met and they are unable to control you.

For example, last night I had dinner with the family, spent a couple of hours 'quality time' with them, then I needed my 'alone time', so I went back into my room and opened up my laptop and went on the internet...

I was on there for all of 20 minutes, when my brother walks in and angrily accuses me of being an 'anti-social snob'...then I got the whole 'you are addicted to the internet...you should be seeking help for that...'

Fact was, he wanted me back inside to help him do the dishes and clean up...now, if only he just said that instead of acting like a bastard...

Nobody has any right to tell/accuse anybody else of being 'addicted' to anything...only a psychiatrist can make the diagnosis because if anybody else does it is..

"give up whatever it is you are doing and look at ME...I am more important than any petty thing you are doing...all of that doesn't matter...whatever it is, so look at ME...I want your total, undivided attention...you cannot be looking at ME and doing something else....something else that doesn't relate to ME...oh, I know you must be addicted to the thing because MY needs come FIRST"

...and that's all addiction is.

Yeah....a small fan heater was my substitute for human company.

I always used to joke; 'both constantly whine and blow hot air'.

As an addendum to ALL of the above, and to give you all a greater insight into my 'private life'.

I was married very young (at 20) to a man twice my age. I was married for 17 years and it took me that long to realise it was 'infatuation' and not love when all the rot started setting in and my husband was 'not the man I married'....but then again, I probably wasn't that 'innocent, naive girl he married' either.

He couldn't say anything nice to me anymore without taking an abusive, verbal shot at me and I self-medicated in retaliation. In the end, I realised that wasn't the answer either and one day, I just came straight out with it; 'I want a divorce'.

Anyway, our marriage produced two children...two girls (now aged 26 and 21 respectively).

At 18, the eldest one just couldn't handle having an abusive father and an autistic mother, so she left home as soon as it was legal for her to do so, saying she was 'cutting ties with the family' and nobody ever heard from her again, although the youngest daughter still has a few mutual friends she shared with her sister and through them, we find out that she's still alive and doing okay...but she will never speak directly to us.

I tried to reconcile a few times, unsuccessfully...so now, and as far as I am concerned, she died when she was 18.

A hard thing for me to do? yup....but I had to do that to be able to move on with my life. For five years I let her hold me hostage to my own guilt....then I saw it and what she was doing for what it actually was....her being a manipulative little b***h...so, I decided...'oh well, I obviously failed with the first one, so lets concentrate on the second'.

I only have one daughter now...the younger one and it's school holidays over here and she has been allowed to spend a few days with me (at my brother's place) as long as she is prepared to share the same space I occupy and is fully aware of the 'house rules'. She said 'fine, no problems and just ask me if you need help to do anything...I am not a sponge' (I raised her very well).

Anyway, she arrived today and I started whining about all this to her and she's like:

"Before I came down here, I checked on the internet....and did you know there's a truck stop 15kms away from here that have hot shower facilities and charge $5?...so I won't even bother asking the family. I'll just go and find an alternative somewhere.

...also, don't bother about me sharing this space...I'll sleep in my car it would be warmer in there and besides that, if I get cold, I'll just drive around the block a few times with the heater on....so don't worry about it...let them have all their 'rules and regulations' because you have to start learning not to rely on other people because people in general are totally UNRELIABLE....now, where is my hug?"

My daughter is studying to be a Youth Worker at a university in the city, so I rarely get to see her...before that (and after the divorce) she chose to move in with her paternal grandparents for a while, for more stability, quiet and to just be close to her friends and her school, but she still came to visit me every month for a weekend...she is my link to the 'outside world'...she is my 'rock'.

She's also one of those 'Indigo Children' who lives inside a computer and missed her calling in IT...but that's not what she wants to do with her life...she can also draw Anime like an Anime artist and is a maths freak! She spends a lot of time playing 'Call Of Duty Black Ops' on X-Box and that is her little obsession...

....but we all have them I cannot think of a person who isn't obsessed over something or another....gaming, music, sport, drama, shopping, eating etc

It's up to us to tell when a 'healthy level' starts becoming unhealthy because it is influencing our lives in a negative way.

When my obsessions start to get the better of me I get outside and walk. Winter, summer, spring or fall - doesn't matter. I walk until I know I don't need to walk any more.

Can't explain why it works for me - just does.

This is correct, verry merry berry good description of what special interest is.
If someone wants to get rid of their interest, then it is not a special interest (it is possibly a compulsion or obsession instead).
If someone has lots of interests in different things, then none of them are special interests (these are casual hobbies instead).
The special interest is the one thing that you make your life around and not being able to do it is the end of life as you know it.

I'm addicted to PC since I was 12. I don't think I can control it, It's like I'm in a free world when I use it and real world is dark and restricted place.

Thank you