Need help knowing if I am Autistic.

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I need help figuring out if I am on the spectrum. This is going
to be long, so please bear with it. I did not speak until I was
5 years old, but I started speaking with about 6 times the vocabulary of a typical
5 year old. I also did not learn to read till I was 7
because I have double vision, but once I figured
out things around that it only took me a week to
be reading at a University level, and over 4 times
as fast as the average student. My was a Special Ed
teacher and she put me in speech therapy when I
was two, and this continued till I was ten. She
also sent me to a psychologist when I was 7,
but I knew that they were trying to find out if I
was different, and I had already been bullied since
daycare, so I forced eye contact and mimicked the
psychologist's body language, so I was only diagnosed
with dysgraphia and a communication disability, and a
speech impediment. I also tested in the genius range
for IQ, creativity, and long term memory, though only
in the 2nd percentile for working memory. I then spent
years wearing a mask and mimicking the emotions of
others so I could blend in. My mom also says that my
behaviour was not very Autistic when I was 8 and 9, though
I always felt different, though I still had several friends.
Once I reached grade 8 however, a combination of stress
and other's socializing becoming more advanced, I
started to have more difficulties with others. It was
around this time that I discover Aspergers Syndrome
online, and I brought it up with my mom. She told that
I did not have it, so I dropped it. Once I went to High School
I could no longer keep up appearances and interact
with others, so I lost all friends, and interacted with
none of my peers till the second half of grade 12.
I was not bullied however because I was the
tallest person in the school in every grade, and
also my school mainly consisted of good people. Once
I went to University, which I have done one year of so far,
I began interacting with people in both my program and in
my residence. My program is music, and about 15% of the
people were on the spectrum, and the vast majority had several
autistic traits. When I was able to interact with others again,
I realized that I could not tell when they were being sarcastic,
or see any emotion in their faces. I also realized that I have
minor face-blindness. An autistic friend I made told me that see
knew I was autistic on the first day, from her "Autisdar." I was
also diagnosed with ADHD and put on medication. My parents,
(who both have decades of Special Ed experiences,) agree with
me that I have OCD and OCPD. I also have meltdowns, and have SPD.
When I take tests like the ASQ test, I get almost perfect
scores, with low scores on empathy tests. I have
every symptom and trait, and all the co-mormids, but my
parents don't thing I am autistic. I think my dad is just in
denial, I he does not want me to face discrimination that
could result from a diagnosis, and my mother says that I
meet it now, but not when I was younger, and it is just from
my learning disabilities, that I am just close to the spectrum
like her, and that a lot is just that I am severely introverted,
and from my IQ. My parents don't care about appearance,
so they aren't disagreeing for that reason. I am scheduled for
an updated psychological assessment, but I am worried that without
history from my previous two assessments, I will be diagnosed with a
bunch of wrong things (Torettes, SPD, sociopathy, borderline, etc.) When I do
online personality disorder tests, I score extremely high for
everything except Narcissistic PD, and Histrionic PD, and I
think my result can all be explained through autism. Is it possible for someone to hid their autism to the degree I did, or do I have something else,
possibly a personality disorder? I strongly believe that I have HFA. I am sorry for blabbing on for so long, but this is the only way I speak/write. What do you guys think?

When you write the your AQ score was "perfect," do you mean it was at or beyond the threshold for people known to have AS/ASD? Have you tried completing the factor tests that accompany the AQ test? It sounds like maybe you have.

So, it seems to me that you believe that you are someone with ASD (or not). Convince yourself, and your parents will (more likely) be convinced themselves. Give them some time. Parents (especially those who are NT) are famous for scrutinizing everything they did to you or in your presence. They need to come to the realization that your status wasn't affected by their actions.


I believe that it is certainly possible. My own IQ and childhood ability to mask was quite similar to yours.

[/quote]When you write the your AQ score was "perfect," do you mean it was at or beyond the threshold for people known to have AS/ASD? Have you tried completing the factor tests that accompany the AQ test? It sounds like maybe you have.[/quote]

My ASQ test score averages at 47/50, and the Aspie test score is 193/200. What factor tests are you referring too?

At the University of Cambridge Autism Research Centre (http://www.autismresearchcentre.com/arc_tests), the Autism Spectrum Quotient (AQ) test is supported by several other tests including the Childhood Autism Spectrum Test (CAST) test, the Empathy Quotient (EQ) for Adults test, the Friendship and Relationship Quotient (FQ) test, and the Systemizing Quotient (SQ) (Adult) test. An individual isn't required to add the factor tests to the AQ or other tests they complete, but it is a great way to learn what AS/ASD factors might be involved in the overall AQ score. For example, my EQ-60 and SQ test scores are closer to AS/ASD "perfect" than my FQ test score. That makes sense, because my socializing skills are affected, but not as much as my empathy and systemizing skills.

Yeah, 47/50 on the AQ test and 193/200 on the Aspie Quiz is prettty much perfect!