Scared or overwhelmed by some everyday things

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I'm scared to do many things, especially those I've not done much. For example, making popcorn in microwave oven, using sandwich grill and cutting pineapple to pieces with a big knife. I used to be scared of mixers and vacuum cleaners for their noise, but I'm able to use them nowadays, as I have to.

I'm also scared in traffic - sitting in a fast-moving car is awful, especially while overtaking or merging onto a highway. I haven't got a driver's license, because I would just meltdown in traffic, let go of the steering wheel and get killed or kill someone. Just too much speed and too many things to pay attention to. Last summer my partner persuaded me to learn how to drive a ride-on lawn mower. Now I kind of enjoy it, although I still only use the two slowest gears while mowing, lol.

Also, some years ago I wanted to learn how to ride a horse. I took some lessons, but couldn't go on, as I had an extremely bad balance and was afraid of falling off. They actually took the stirrups away to train my balance, but it only made my fear worse. I had to stop taking lessons, as I wasn't proceeding along with rest of the group and maintaining my balance caused me so much stress.

These are only a few examples of what I'm scared. Other people don't usually understand, why I'm scared, so I try to hide it if I can. Even my partner has been quite unsupportive - my fears actually make her angry or frustrated, and she wants me to do these things over and over to overcome the fear. Sometimes I feel very bad about it, but on the other hand I understand that I'm not the easiest person to live with.

Are you scared of activities that are considered part of everyday life or otherwise "easy" and "ordinary"? Do you think it's part of ASD or something else?

I can't handle roller coasters.

I am often extremely frightened by cameras in stores. The thoughts of them watching me panic me so much I yell at everyone and practically run out.

Apart from that I don't get frightened so much as angered. People humming or tapping, or whistling....any constant noise will make me incredibly irritated. And sometimes people doing things in weird routines or acting particularly apathetic make me incredibly furious.

I think it's an Autistic failure to associate correct emotions, over or under reacting to certain events, and sometimes using the complete wrong emotion.

Actually if I think about it, I also struggle to cross the road. I just feel very exposed and unprotected when crossing, even with lights.

It's interesting. Other people don't usually understand, you're right. They think that you should just "Get over it" and push past it. They're right to a point, eventually some things can grow out of your control. If anyone says anything, the only advice I can give is do your best to ignore it, everyone has their stuff.

Good luck.

I love roller coasters if I'm totally looped on Xanax I can't go anywhere near them without it.

But anyways to mittencat, I have fears like that too and I think it's the phobia paranoia area. Mine come and go. I've had it ruin certain activities, because I thought I had gotten over a particular fear....or I never had that fear before then. I think there is a connection to this and my autism.

I'm petrified of high contrast images due to my visual problems. I've had to tape pieces of paper over certain diagrams in textbooks because they affect me so badly.

Also I'm scared of swimming pools (can't swim despite 10+ years of being forced into lessons) and lifts (elevators; I'm claustrophobic).

I do get overwhelmed with responsibility, like washing, cleaning my teeth, shaving legs, etc. But I don't want to not do those things because taking care of yourself is important and I don't want to go around smelling. But I try to make myself look presentable and attractive enough without putting too many tasks in my daily routine, like putting on make-up. I only put on make-up on a special occasion like if I'm going out to have a meal or to a wedding or something, otherwise I only put lipstick on and that's it. And I try to keep an easy hairstyle, keep my hair well groomed but where it's not too much maintenance.

I get a bit scared of some things, but I can't think of what at this moment. I get scared of taking medicines what could change my poop (like giving me diarrhoea), but I'm not sure if that counts. Otherwise, I do get irritable and impatient more when outdoors (without showing it). Here are a few things that irritate me inwardly:-

Cars creeping up behind me when I'm walking along somewhere like a quiet lane where not many cars go, and I got to walk right on the side or in the gutter or something. It's especially annoying when the car has just come to turn around, and it creeps back again.

When I'm in a shop and people always want to get where I'm standing, no matter where I happen to be standing. It annoys me more when there's only like two other people in the whole shop and somebody still wants to get where I'm standing. It just irritates, like I said, and makes me lose concentration on the item I was trying to look for.

Small kids near me. Usually parents seem to like standing right in my personal space with their toddler or toddlers, even if there's plenty of space around. I can bear it if the kids are quiet, but when they are the noisy type or won't stand still and behave, I get agitated.

When I'm sitting at a table in a restaurant and there are loads of other tables completely empty, and a family come in with about five noisy hyper kids and they sit at the table right next to me, and even pull two tables together to make it into a bigger table for all of them to sit, even though there are bigger empty tables at the other side of the restaurant where I'm sitting furthest away from.

When I'm on the bus and there are empty seats available, and somebody still comes and sits next to me, and when even more empty seats become available they don't move, and then look annoyed when I need them to get up when I want to get off.

Going down staircases or steep inclines. Not scared or overwhelmed but I definitely have enormous difficulty on staircases. I seem to get visual confusion and feel like I could fall and I need to grab onto the rail. I also got this once when walking down the exceedingly steep pathways around Greenwich Park in London. I had to ask if I could hang onto the arm of the person I was with, and he thought I was just a f*****g freak or being dramatic. But I seriously experience some kind of vestibular issue on steep places --- a steep incline or staircases -- and it is fairly severe, to the point where it's very hard for me to walk down a set of stairs in a normal manner like everyone else. It's not a fear -- I'm not panicking or afraid. I just literally feel like I'm easily about to lose my balance and I can't place my feet in such a way that I won't fall, so I have to give the stairs my full attention and hold onto the rail.

It's not really vertigo either because I don't feel like anything is spinning around. I just feel like I can't negotiate the downward journey of stairs without almost falling down them unless I'm really careful. I don't even know what that is or what it's called. I have sometimes had to simply explain to someone I get vertigo, but I don't even really think it's truly vertigo. It's some kind of visual disturbance in conjunction with what my inner ear's vestibular equipment is processing.

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I have been scared as a rabbit most of my life, but with age it has become much better, - and especially after dx, when I began to understand.
I´m still a great worrier though, nervous in unknown situations, claustrophobic (afraid, that I might never make it out of the toilet room or the elevator), frightened by loud noise (fight- and especially flight response) and more things like that. I just thought, I was very neurotic.
I startle and drop things when stressed, but that has probably more to do with executive function.

I have learned, that the thing with stairs is rather common in aspies. I have it myself in periods and use the wall for support, but a few, I know have this all the time.
I figure, it must be some kind of sensory delay. I have those once in a while.
"My" psychologist says, that it is quite ordinary - for aspies.

Last edited by Jensen on 29 Jul 2014, 1:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Jensen, thank you for your input about the stairs thing -- that's interesting and I feel actually reassured by the notion that it's common among aspies. I've felt such a freak for it. To find I may not be alone changes the light I see it in.

Interesting about the stair thing being common in aspies, Jensen. I experience this also, even when being careful, I'm afraid I'll land on my face by misstepping or something.

I have a visual processing disorder which makes me fall down the stairs often.

How does that happen? How does it feel?

double

Most adults my age have real jobs or careers, an education, they drive a car and and go almost anywhere they want. I have none of those things either because I'm too chicken to try them, I don't have the money, or there just aren't any opportunities where I live. I feel like a complete loser, a waste of oxygen, that my hopes and dreams were all a waste of time, and that I shouldn't even be allowed to go on living. And seeing some troll use the word "autistic" for "stupid" and starting a long thread of hate last night on Youtube didn't help.

^
I think you just need to create goals for yourself and have lots of support .
Start with 3 things you'd love to do!

I get incredibly anxious about driving and leaving the house in general. Especially if it is sunny outside. It's easier for me to drive at night because during the day everything blurs together. I get nervous about going downstairs and getting food when everyone else in my house is still awake because I just don't want to talk to them and have to fake smile.