Do you think I have aspergers?

Post Reply New Topic

I would like to know the opinions of people who actually have aspergers because I think you would know best. I am a 24 year old female.

As a child, I was never normal at all. I didn't know how to make friends nor was I interested in doing so. I was a testbook child, which was actually discouraged in my culture as I am a female. All I did all day was read books and solve puzzles, and I was very interested in maths. My parents thought books were bad for me because they were distracting me from socialising with others, so I was not allowed books anymore (that didn't stop me from using books secretly).

I was always accused of "daydreaming" by my family. I didn't respond to conversations that happened around me because I simply did not pay attention to them - I was in my own head most of the time.

I think my lack of understanding of social situations stemmed from a lack of interest in it. When I was older I became more aware of the importance of social interaction, so I studied it and tried to copy other people. I am still "weird", but I am able to mask it very well and most people could not point a finger on what's wrong with me.

I don't have any problems approaching new people or making conversations anymore, but I do find it difficult to make friends. People think I'm a nice person, especially at first, but for some reason my relationship with everyone dies down over time. I think they find something weird about me which makes them back away, or maybe I just don't make enough effort.

Whatever the reason, most of my socialising takes a lot of effort from me. I prefer spending time on my own, and being around other people wears me out (including family members). I still force myself to do it because I want to become better at it and be able to fit in with everyone else. I also want to be a normal person and be able to say I have friends (I find people are put off when they think or suspect I have no friends - as if that's an indication that something is wrong with me).

I don't have many of the signs often associated with aspergers syndrome like rocking back and forth or hand flapping. I learned how to not stand "awkwardly" and I even learned how to make eye contact without it being too much ("staring") or too little (not looking at all).

Whether I have it or not, I don't want to be diagnosed because I don't want any of the stigma attached to it, but it would be nice to know.

Thoughts?

I forgot to mention that I have a brother who has very low functioning autism (non verbal).

You seem to have some features of Asperger's.

Really, you should obtain a diagnosis from a qualified professional, preferably somebody specializing in Autism Spectrum Disorders.

^^^I agree - based on what you said I beleive there's a possibility you may be autistic. Kraftiekortie is right - don't be afraid to pursue a formal diagnosis as to whether or not you are. I did - and after being diagnosed my therapist helped me a lot to adapt better to the unreal world and also to get me to stop being ashamed of who I was.

If diagnosed it's not like they write "autistic" across your forehead in permenant marker. You can choose to tell who you want to tell, or not.

You sound similar to me in some ways, and I can understand a lot of what you have said.

I don't think you should worry about stigma after being diagnosed. You don't have to tell people you have been diagnosed. But being diagnosed can open doors to support. I was diagnosed in November 2012, and this got me extra help with job applications, including interview skills. They helped me get the best job I've ever had, and my boss at work fully understands how my aspergers affects me.

But also, the diagnosis has helped me understand myself better and appreciate myself better. Some may say it's just a label, but it actually doesn't matter what it's called. What matters is that I have official recognition that there is something fundamentally different about my brain. Yeah, different, not worse. I don't see Aspergers as a bad thing necessarily. Aspies can have many skills. You just need to find out what yours are and make the most of them.

I don't walk around with a hat which says "I've got Aspergers", so people don't know unless they are told, and they are usually only told if they need to know. But being diagnosed could be just what might make the difference in your life. Those that need to know can be told afterwards, and those that are worth knowing will understand.

This might be the best evaluation quiz on the internet, to find out.

----> Asperger's quiz

But you still need to go to a certified GP who specializes for Asperger's to find out for sure.

Agreed! You don't have to tell anyone anything they're not entitled to know. I want to be diagnosed and am in the process of pursuing this. I figure if anyone who knows me doesn't like it after I'm diagnosed, the heck with them, if they're going to try to 'stigmatize' me.. "those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter"!

I can relate to most of what OP has written, but this could just as well be because her traits and experiences are somewhat common among introverts. Avoidance of eye contact, however, is a trait that stands out as it is one of the more reliable indicators of asperger's syndrome. The same goes for having a brother who is diagnosed with autism.

The story of my adult life, and it is impossible to hide in this age of social media.



Me neither. Maybe it's because we're both high functioning?

You should take kraftiekortie's advice and obtain a diagnosis from a professional.

By the way, do you have any special interest(s)? Are you still into maths?



I certainly agree with this. Before I was diagnosed with asperger's my life had hit rock bottom and getting an answer helped me resurface.

I'm still not sure. I do still have a couple of special interests. Nowadays I'm into anthropology and evolution, and I'm all about anything that requires logical step-by-step problem solving (that's what drew me to maths in the first place when I was younger).

However I don't have the infamous meltdowns many autistic people say they have. In fact I'm an incredibly calm person as long as I'm in my comfort zone. But if there's something someone tries to get me to do that I don't want to do I would get incredibly agitated, even if it's something very simple like looking something up for my mum on the Internet. When I reach my boiling point (because of not being left alone) I'll simply make every effort possible to leave the scene. Twice in my life I have made an on-the-spot decision to permanently move to a new address because of a fight that arose out of supposedly simple circumstances, and I'd be living somewhere else the next day. I also dropped out of the first uni I went to because attending lessons/exams seemed like too much or I just preferred doing something else. I finished my second degree, but it was with painstaking agony and took an incredible amount of effort.

I also don't have any sensory problems. There are no sounds or sights that irritate me, but I can get very angry if I have to listen to the voice of someone who has demanded too much of me in the past. I could get furious just from hearing them sniff, but on the outside I just look calm (or so I assume).

Either way I think you're right and I will probably look for an official diagnosis.

Good luck with looking into a diagnosis. I am in a similar position as you: I have very recently found out that I could be on the spectrum and want to find everything I can out about it before asking my doctor.

I don't have melt downs either, but I do shut down. Not as badly as some people (some people become mute for days, for example), but it happens. I am a member of another forum (a support group for people with chronic illnesses). I asked there if there were any aspies who'd be willing to talk. Melt downs are infamous, as you said, and I thought perhaps you possibly had to have them to be considered for a diagnosis. My question to the forum was about that. Lots of people replied who were on the spectrum and they all said that they have never had a melt down. That is how I came to this forum, actually. After posting on the chronic illness forum, I googled melt downs and aspergers and found a thread on Wrong Planet where people were talking about this. Most people who replied also said they rarely had or never had a melt down. It isn't part of the diagnosistic criteria. So even though it can be a sign it isn't neccessary.

Thank you for this quiz, it was really useful. (I got my boyfriend to do it as well to compare results.)

There were a few questions that perplexed me though. Could you, or anyone else, describe why these questions were on the quiz?

Are you more sexually attracted to strangers than to people you know well?
Have you have had long-lasting urges to take revenge?
Do you have a need to confess?
Do you have an urge to observe the habits of humans and/or animals?
Do you have an urge to learn the routines of people you know?
Do you expect other people to know your thoughts, experiences and opinions without you having to tell them?

And, most confusingly...

Have you seen a male flasher?

I Just took the test and there was a "download pdf" option that broke the questions down into categories. It is available only for an hour after the test is taken.

(This group contains neurodiverse social traits. The traits are about putting oneself in the centre, and living in small stationary groups. It also includes having trouble with authority, arguing and revenge.)
Diagnostic relation - None


(This group contains neurodiverse attachment traits. These traits describe the strong and long-lived attachments that neurodiverse people prefer to form with a few select people. It also
contains traits related to the attachments, like examining hair, not needing pronouns, and learning the routines of people.)
Diagnostic relation - A high score is related to "attachment disorders"

(This question was not on my test . . . )

You might try as a first step some of the online test.

Here are a couple of test that might help:

http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

and this test on empathy quotient (EQ):

http://aspietests.org/eq/index.php

NOTE: You do NOT have to sign up on the site to take these test. You only have to answer your age group, your sex and whether or not you have or are suspected of having an Autism Spectrum Disorder. After answering those questions you can skip the rest and go straight to the test.

I see nothing wrong with being autistic. Bill Gates has ASD, and he's the epitome of success. : )

While he is suspected of having it he has never said anything about it.

Autistics often have issues with understating body language and motives of others and using eye contact. Besides problems with social situations people with autism have often have problems with sensory overload, planning, multitasking, change. Hyperfocus or obsessions with a "special interest" are traits. Many times autistic people have traits and do not realize because it is "normal" for them.

As everybody said if your life is being inhibited by your traits see person who is a specialist in how autism presents in people of your age and gender.