Mother talks about killing her autistic daughter and herself

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My ourbursts as the child were so extreme, many mothers may of considered murdering me out of shear frustation. Maybe by pushing me out of a top floor window and claiming it was an accident as I did have a history of taking silly risks standing on widow sills on top floors etc.
My mother was surprisingly tolerant of my outbusts. She just loved me too much. Perhaps because I looked so cute, like the child in that video.

My mom once told me a few years back, that she had to grieve because I was not the child she wanted. meaning the child in her dreams when she would picture how she wanted her child to be.

and afterwards, she grew to love me for who i am. and that I amaze her.

I think these parents need to do the same.

The interaction of experience, personality (which is separate from autism as far as I'm concerned -- autism runs deeper), other brain wiring (autism stuff etc -- what I meant when I said brain wiring), culture, immediate surroundings, etc. That's also why one person can hold two totally different opinions about autism at different points in their life without becoming another kind of autistic person.



It happens a lot.

No mother ever gets exactly what they want, whether they get an AS or not.

*two awards*

Pfff, I could've been that kid![/ego]

Only now do I actually SEE the footage, and would like to point out a thought that only occurred now:

First of all, we all think crazy thoughts, right? I mean, I was standing on the edge of a building and thought 'What if I jumped off? What would happen afterwards?' Of course, it was meant with no tone of seriousness, but you get what I mean?

EDIT: upon further thinking, I realized that if she thought it was a passing thing, then wouldn't she have said that? Back to Square one again...

yeah, she seemed pretty serious about it. In fact she said the ONLY reason she didn't do it was because of her other daughter. And it is one thing to think about commiting suicide. It's another to think about killing your baby daughter.

She was projecting her own self imposed misery onto her daughter and assuming that because she is miserable her daughter must be (after all, her daughter is to her the ESSENCE of misery). so to her it was a "mercy" killing, though with purely selfish motives.

No one would blame someone for having a though pop into her head. But she took it seriously and made it a statement intended to be profound for the WORLD to hear. SHe is also holds a prominent position in the group, so I'm sure if she realized how bad it sounds she could have had them re-edit the video.

If you watch the entire video she says that "some" parents must put these kids in schools with classrooms with 12 kids per teacher. She then says the bit about contemplating putting Jody in the car and driving off the George Washington bridge for 15 min because it would be preferable to putting her in one of those schools...then the bit about the only reason she doesn't do it is because of Lauren. That makes the whole thing even more creepy. At first she recognizes that "some" parents would have only this choice, but then she makes it about her and says that's why she contemplated killing her kid. That's pretty crazy considering the woman has loads of money and has all kinds of options open to her, so an overcrowded school wouldn't even be an issue. To me, the missing segment makes it even worse. She doesn't say that she did this because she was overhwelmed or she didn't know how to handle it, she says she contemplated it for an issue that affected "some" parents (her words), but wouldn't have even applied to her. That is just plain bizarre.

The fact that she doesn't get that years later (Jody is 8 1/2 according to the video) and recounts it like that without realizing that it makes no sense whatsoever, not to mention is completely unacceptable, is what sends up major red flags to me. This isn't a normal person overwhelmed by autism at all. Something completely different is going on here.

I think the reason why she felt safe saying that in front of Jody is because she thinks the Jody is not paying attention at all; she very well could be, she's looking out the window and doing this other stuff, but we know very well that sometimes when we do that we don't pay attention to much else, and that would explain that she feels safe talking about it. I find the fact that she talks about killing Jody pretty ironic when the kid is right behind her so you think 'She wanted to kill the kid behind her at a point'.

Now that you say it was 15 minutes, I'm getting the more serious end: Sure, I think about these thoughts, but not for FIFTEEN MINUTES!!

Besides, it doesn't take THAT long to cross the Washington Bridge, does it?

Wow, that sounds like a horrible mother. If anything my mom would never contemplate putting any of us to death, nor would my father. Actually, my father has that wanting us to outlive him attitude and would probably put his life on the line for us. x: I guess every parent is different.

This is just horrid. Just because the girl's autistic you want to drive her off a bridge? That's just sick! If the parent's child is autistic and they are having a hard time with them, it's likely because they don't understand and they don't really know how to parent. There are strategies out there to help them to understand their child and develop ways to help the child and themselves to cope. Maybe if they found the right strategy on how to parent their kids then maybe they wouldn't drag their child by the arm if they were screaming or thinking about driving themselves off a bridge killing themselves and their kid in the process. These parents need to wake up! Also any parent who wishes their child were dead should in the least get help and at most have the kid taken away from them.

Last edited by ghostgurl on 07 Mar 2007, 3:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

NT people just don't seem to get that just because we're not looking at them and giving them proper eye contact doesn't mean that we aren't listening. I wouldn't be surprised if Jody heard and understood that whole thing and is going to keep that knowledge bottled up painfully. Jody, I feel sorry for you, your mother is whorendous.

I just hope that "mother" had her tubes tied as she doesn't deserve children, especially if they're not NT. I feel bad for Jody who most likely heard her "mother" say those awful things in front of her.

Right in front of her daughter, too. Autism Speaks does not speak for me!

The minute I saw this I thought, hey, I know what this is!

What Is Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome?

In MBPS, an individual - usually a mother - deliberately makes another person (most often his or her own preschool ch ild) sick or convinces others that the person is sick. Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome (MBPS), or Factitious Disorder by Proxy, as it's listed in the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (Fourth Edition, Text Revision, also known as DSM-IV-TR).

This relatively uncommon condition involves the exaggeration or fabrication of illnesses or symptoms by a primary caretaker. One of the most harmful forms of child abuse, Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome was named after Baron von Munchausen, an eighteenth-century German dignitary known for telling outlandish stories.

Typically, the perpetrator feels satisfied when he or she has the attention and sympathy of doctors, nurses, and others who come into contact with him or her and the child. Some experts believe that it isn't just the attention that's gained from the "illness" of the child that drives this behavior, but there is satisfaction gained by the perpetrator in being able to deceive individuals that they consider to be more important and powerful than themselves.

Because the parent or caregiver appears to be so caring and attentive, often no one suspects any wrongdoing. A perplexing aspect of the syndrome is the ability of the parent or caregiver to fool and manipulate doctors. Frequently, the perpetrator is familiar with the medical profession and is very good at fooling the doctors. Even the most experienced doctors can miss the meaning of the inconsistencies in the child's symptoms.

It's not unusual for medical personnel to overlook the possibility of Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome because it goes against the belief that a parent or caregiver would never deliberately hurt his or her child.
Children who are subject to Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome are typically preschool age, although there have been reported cases in children up to 16 years old.

I read every post and didn't find this possible explanation.
Merle

Well, I didn't think of it as that!

*is suspicious*

As someone who knows firsthand the effects and faces of Munchausen, I doubt very much that these women have this disorder. Their behavior is based in social conditioning, what they are expected to expect when having a child. Think about the things they complained about. Things, roofs, schools, parties, bagels. Things.
People who have Munchausen are totally different. They seek control and attention for their own sake. Some of them manipulate for money (insurance fraud or charity) but mostly it's parents that are obsessed psychologically.
I think some of the discussion has just gotten off track here.
Those kids on the video are surely autistic and their parents want rid of it. Not the other way around.