Before I started to read about AS

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Before I knew what Aspergers was, I didn't know there was such thing as eye contact, body language, personal space, social cues, non verbal language. Then when I started to read about it I read we lack those areas in undertstanding them like we have troubles reading body language, avoiding eye contact or we have very little, troubles reading social cues, etc. and I had no clue what the pages on the internet and in books were talking about. I even thought everyone had obsessions and narrow interests even though I never heard such thing as "narrowe interest" but I figured out what they were anyway.

My question is, is it something that NTs figure out on their own and learn on their own?


I didn't know anything about personal space until I was 16 when kids on my softball team started tellling me to scoot back because I was too close to them and I get close to them again when the line would move up to the next person's turn and bam I get told to scoot back again. Then few years later I finally read we have troubles understanding and judging personal space.

I didn't have a clue I lacked those areas until my shrink pointed them out to me when I was 17. My god I still don't know what a social cue is. Anybody know what it is?

My mother was the one who started to point out personal space to me when I was 18 or 19. We be out together and she would start pulling me back and telling me to not stand so close to someone or she tell me to wait my turn and I would always think she was beign weird because I didn't have a clue what she was talking about and what the big deal was.

Its something they just know and intuitively understand.. for them its hardwired arguably they are born knowing these things or learn them immediately without concious effort.

As for a "social cue" well a cue is defined in the dictionary as "anything said or done, on or off stage, that is followed by a specific line or action" which indicates that during NT conversations they give each other signals of some kind but what those are hell if I know.

Yeah, like at this party the other night, this one NT did this thing with his eyebrow that I'm pretty sure means "Kill this freak aspie to my right as soon as he turns his back".

I'm wondering if anyone knew about body language, soical cues, eye contact, non verbal cues, personal space, before you heard of aspergers?

I sure didn't until I was in my late teens. I wasn't even aware they existed. I never noticed how people looked at each other as they talked and as they were being spoken too. I notice it now that i pay attention to people when they are talking or being spoken too, same as in movies.

So where did you bury that NT's body at later that night?

Look, don't ever try to murder someone, amateur! Burying is so old school. First you feed most of the meet to dogs or pigs, depending on where you live. Second you have grubs clean the bones. You don't have to get too carried away. Once they've eaten most of it, then you bake the bones until the rest of the meat is ash and the bones are good and dry and you can pound them into a powder and flush it down the drain. Don't try to flush it all at once of course. You don't want to clog the drain.

I'm the opposite on personal space. I flinch when people touch me.

There are times when a socially acceptable hug or handshake bothers me.

I don't have a lot of experience kissing but the times I have, I had tremors which made the girls seem uncomfortable.

I hate being touched by strangers if there's been no interraction between us. I find it rude, irritating and anxiety-provoking. Lately I've been saying something when it happens, but people don't seem to notice

Dalebert and machine1..thanks again for making me laugh at my computer(glad no ones around)

One of my interest has always been people...I was an invisible kid(comes in handy)and would watch people all the time as a kid...and parents,just because it looks like I am coloring doesnt mean I am deaf.....I also joined Drama club(may not be aspie)and learned some things there...thought I may come off as "over acting" in daily approach....also was a psyc major and they teach it there...unfortunately ...I have a losey memory that is worse when stressed in social situations....so I can only remember the really simple ones...if you cross your arm over your middle you are trying to protect yourself(insecure)..down to the sides means confident...wave 'em in the air like you just dont care...likely to be at a rap concert.Italian or an Aspie....covering your mouth is also sighn of insecurity..

I was in drama club too for a year. I don't think it means you're not aspie. In fact, I feel like I'm acting all the time. I think drama and especially melodrama can appeal to aspies because it's so clear unlike the subtle social cues that are so elusive to us.

Dalebert...thats exactly what the "specialist" I'm seeing said... The funny thing was...I dissociated when I was doing "interpretive reading" and in school play...I think I missed all the fun.
I also picked very depressing things when I had the choice...so,it wasnt exactly acting...now if I had been playing a cheerleader....

I knew about them but only as definitions and noticing people doing things that seemed weird and asking my parents who didnt seem suprised I didnt understand.. they were the ones who gave me the definitions

Having aspie parents makes it harder to understand NTs I think

As nearly as I can tell, even NT's have to learn personal space norms. If they were instinctive to the human organism, they wouldn't vary by culture. (For example, the amount of personal space which is "normal" in France is generally considered "too close" by a mainstream American.)

Dalebert you sure have given this allot of thought

Sounds a lot like me.
Im my case I sort of...made things a habit. Its almost funny, but I often find myself thinking, "Is this a situation I should be angry in?" before yelling at somebody. I think if it as sort of like a computer, one step at a time for each emotion.
Raise voice?
Check.
Clenched fists?
Check.
Frown?
Check.
Right, were angry...I think.

I certainly neither heard nor thought about social cues, personal space etc before i found out about AS. And i too have checklists in my head for social situations.....that's why i can muddle through if i know the social norm but get in big trouble if i don't know the 'script' of a new social encounter. Its amazing how hard it is to function in a social way when you have no idea how to act!! !! !!