dumping drama on others
There's a trait about me I don't particularly like and want to change but still struggling to do so: when I get upset, I feel like the only way to get over being upset abput something it is by telling other people how I feel and talking to other people about it. I understand that most people as well don't like drama or being the "carpet". When I talk to others about my problems, I do feel much better after, it's very helpful to me, but I hate feeling like that is the only way to get over feeling upset. I often don't like feeling like the type of person that is drama. As an aspie, do you relate to what I'm talking about too? Do you feel you feel the same way?
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James Hackett
aspie quiz results; http://www.rdos.net/eng/poly12c.php?p1= ... =80&p12=28
Yes, and I don't like it.
The need to download comes from somewhere though, perhaps self doubt about your own reasoning process.
Maybe it's from my lack of self-esteem.
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Anachronism: an object misplaced in time.
"It's true we are immune, when fact is fiction and TV reality"
"It's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards"
btbnnyr
Veteran
Joined: 18 May 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,359
Location: Lost Angleles Carmen Santiago
My mother seems to have this need.
She talks out these things to me, while I browse internetz and don't pay attention to her, have no idea what she said and make comments like yes, uh-huh, and ok, but it all makes her feel better to get it out verbally.
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Drain and plane and grain and blain your brain, and then again,
Propane and butane out of the gas main, your blain shall sustain!
Isn't that how most people communicate their feelings? Telling others how they feel? What you're doing sounds normal to me. It always makes others feel better when they talk about their feelings to me or others, and the same goes for me. I'm surprised nobody else has mentioned that in this thread, unless someone has. I haven't read all the replies.
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Female
Seems reasonable to me.
Yet I have read/heard many reports from people that find offense in this sort of thing, and go on to label such people as depressive, negative, toxic, and emotional vampires, - presumably because the downloads aren't always of cheerful nature, or perhaps are rarely of a cheerful nature. They seem to have a point, but I suspect that the reality of the situation is that they were ok with it up until some point where they then felt some need to use this against the other person.
I think it has something to do with emotional reciprocity, and some expectation of the other person to have much responsibility for your own emotional state. One of the people involved doesn't feel like they are getting what they want and then takes some action to affect more control over the situation.
Honestly to me, that sounds more like manipulation than compassion.
I think there should be more compassion, and realization that people feel much more of a need to talk about things that bother them than they have to talk about things that are going well.
I also believe in people expressing feelings. I, myself, feel it's a cathartic experience when I do so.
It's hard to tell whether somebody wants advice, or just wants to "vent."
I have no objection, whatsoever, to offering advice should I feel like I could offer the advice. If I don't know enough, I feel at least somewhat guilty.
I'm especially bad when it comes to pharmaceuticals. I've only been prescribed one drug for my multitudinous problems in my life: Ritalin, for two weeks, when I was 13. I just cannot offer advice as to the efficacy of any drug.
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