Harm and undermining of the self diagnosed on WP
androbot01
Veteran
Joined: 17 Sep 2014
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,746
Location: Kingston, Ontario, Canada
^That's really a shame. As I said earlier, I think WP should be more supportive of the undiagnosed as a lot of adults have been missed. I got to a point where I attempted suicide and that is how I got my diagnosis.
There does seem to be a cult of the diagnosed here. I don't know why.
... oh well
_________________
Everything is falling.
Last edited by tall-p on 23 Jan 2015, 1:29 am, edited 1 time in total.
I would guess that anyone who frequents WP and posts semi-regularly probably has something "abnormal" going on (by "abnormal" I simply mean different than what is deemed normal). What precisely? Who knows. So, in that regard, I think WP is very inclusive. As that old Apple commercial says, "...Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits..." Welcome to WP.
To an extent, I tend to think that anyone on the spectrum, by the time they have reached adulthood (if not before) has been exposed to so much emotional and psychological stress in a continued way over time, and that these experiences, (particularly if you are a person who is hypersensitive to others' distress, and your own) result in living in a state of sub-clinical PTSD, where triggers (anything resembling the past emotional and psychological forms of abuse, verbal putdowns etc) can invoke that feeling of being very unsafe and all the anxiety that goes with the sense of invalidation and disrespect.
This is what makes it feel unsafe when the dissing breaks out. In my first year on WP, I never gave a thought to whether a poster was diagnosed or not, unless they were specifically posting about it - that had nothing to do with whether I thought their comments were valid or not. And in your case, Dianthus, I was often in awe of how in a few words you could often cut to the core of an issue, and present an overview of it that put the whole thing in greater and wider perspective for me. You seem to possess an instinctive wisdom and sensibility that is finely tuned.
After the "harmful" era - so recently concluded - I had many of the feelings you describe, and just bringing up threads made me feel anxious for a while, and then there was a short period when some of the more aggressive posters started to post things like "that's just the way I am", which is no doubt true, though sometimes with the apparent unstated implication that "there's nothing I can do about it, so you have to just accept it" - which seemed to suggest compulsion on their part, though I tend to think that choice still operates and that some of these comments were belated self-justification after some members left.
Things do seem to be more considerate now, some people do realise that they went too far (from PMs I have received) and geniunely regret any harm they may have caused. Others seem to have a naturally terse abrupt manner which was there before the harmful era and will continue, though they usually favour forums other than GAD, which is why I mainly post here.
Emotional and verbal abuse is experienced as a threat, to one's well being and peace of mind, and is a definite trigger to the subclinical PTSD symptoms, and because immediate support and validation lessens the effect of triggering, perhaps the best strategy is to contact a member who can offer immediate s and v as soon as harm is recognised or felt. I never mind receiving PMs like this, and I hope the people I would send them too - the ones whose safety has been demonstrated over time in their posts - will not mind receiving them from me if the situation arises, because that sick anxious feeling is awful. A sort of buddy system may be helpful in making this a safer place. I would choose my "buddies" not on whether they are diagnosed by professional others or not, but on their consistent demonstration of respect, courtesy, goodwill and qualities like that, and have a history of insightfulness in their posts. They are my safety net here, more than the mods really, who have their hands full.
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