Do you desire social interaction or not...

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Where are you on the spectrum and do you desire social interaction?
Indifferent 3%  3%  [ 3 ]
Desire more social interaction 20%  20%  [ 19 ]
Prefer to be alone 26%  26%  [ 25 ]
Are perfectly happy to stick to a small circle say involving a couple close family members/friends 51%  51%  [ 48 ]
Total votes : 95

nca14
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02 Mar 2015, 4:22 am

I am not so interested in "typical" contacts. I rather do not feel need of being loved by others (for example parents). But I had need of having the female partner even when I was about 6 years old. I did not think about having friends so much as a child. But I like to talk about my topics, even with large group of people, but it is rather "one-sided". I am a nonconformist. It has its advantages. I suppose that in America I would be named as having just (social) nonverbal learning disorder, not a PDD or a sort of autism.



Shelldor2015
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02 Mar 2015, 6:03 am

I am what the doctors consider High Functioning. I don't buy into the labels either regarding functioning.

I prefer a small group of friends or a few family members. I get overwhelmed and confused easily.


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Andrejake
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02 Mar 2015, 6:18 am

I'm high functioning and feel perfectly fine with having a small circle of friends.



886
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02 Mar 2015, 6:43 am

I would like to have more social interaction in my life, I just don't want too much of it.


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02 Mar 2015, 12:22 pm

I am moderate functioning.

I prefer to be alone.


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SEK93
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03 Mar 2015, 12:48 am

I am "high functioning"

I enjoy spending quality social time with family and friends, with hopes of meeting new people along the way.



Magnus_Rex
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03 Mar 2015, 2:08 am

Lately, I prefer to be alone. I even left my job and stopped talking to my friends because of it. My current goal is to buy a house for my mother and then leave to become a hermit. The thought of walking across the country and having to find my own food and water (instead of working all week long for money to buy food and water) is very appealing to me, despite the risk of malaria, Chagas disease and other fun things you can get from living in the tropical wilderness.

As for your other question, I generally consider myself high functioning, although I have been going through a few unpleasant situations lately, like my inability to get a new job, my lack of motivation, my ever-increasing depression and how I have been shutting myself from the world for the last few months. Since the latter happened precisely because it was getting increasingly difficult for me to "high function" since 2013, I am starting to wonder if I am truly as high functioning as I believed.

Eh, whatever. I am not even diagnosed. :?


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03 Mar 2015, 2:58 am

I'm high functioning and have a very small circle of people in my life. My mother and I get along very well but outside of my relationship with her I have no one else. I would like to have friends but find many things that others my age do and say confusing. People can be so mean to others. I tend to gravitate toward others that seem to be made fun of by others. I was recently in the hospital and found that I socially interacted well with the other patients that were 25 years younger then I.


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Jacoby
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03 Mar 2015, 3:46 am

How does one define low and high functioning? I would guess there is real definition to it but to me when I look at my life I can't say I am a functioning person in very many ways. I mean I guess I can achieve some facade of normalcy in spurts, I can wear the mask for a little bit in the right situation. I look at other people and see them worse off than me in some ways but I look back at my life and what little I've accomplished so I guess who am I to judge really on who is higher functioning? I can talk, I can feel, I'm a human being but just certain deficits that most don't.

'But yea, I desire more social interaction. A lot actually, its hard now at 23 going on 24 now to change that tho as I've burned thru all my social capital and I still have so many unresolved issues with anxiety along with being on the spectrum so the deck is kind of stacked against me in meeting new people. I feel pretty isolated and it's hard, I look at myself and where my life is at and just don't think there is any reason why anyone would want me in their lives in whatever capacity so I guess maybe there some self-esteem issues but I don't know if I'd say it is irrational for me to think this way. I'd say I am usually a pessimistic person and expect the worst in things but there is a part of me that has longing hope that something or someone will save me from my situation, its kind of like why people play the lottery if that makes sense. I jumping thru and hoops and doing my best to keep my head above water; I haven't given up or been broke totally just yet but the reality situation is pretty daunting and I try avoid thinking to much about. I've distracted myself for so long, I've lived in fantasyland with belief that it has to get better and that it will all work out in the end because life is a movie aint it? We all know it couldn't be further from the truth.

I didn't always feel that way, for a long time I was burned out and didn't really care which I guess explains why I am where I am now at 23, I wish I felt the way I do now when I was 13 and could redo everything. There are a lot of people that come from worse and had much more traumatic backgrounds than me but I wouldn't say I've had a drama free life by any stretch and part of that stress is I think why I withdrew almost totally in my teen years. There was a time where I was angry and resentful of my situation and surroundings, I was more than happy to be away from all these stressors and spend my time doing what amounted to nothing. If I couldn't have it my way then I wouldn't play the game at all, I didn't think it was fair and it wasn't but that's why I suppose they say life isn't fair. I had that minimum amount of interaction that kept me going, I had my little interests and distractions but eventually you mature and you start thinking about life and my situation. It got boring, it got lonely, you become unsatisfied.

This isn't a totally new thing either, I've wanted to change for a long time but there all these barriers mostly of my own creation that boxes me in and has stopped me from doing so much. I have somewhat of breakdown, it came to a head and finally I overcame this pathetic little module of pride and the honestly overwhelming anxiety and shame to seek whatever help I can utilize to change my situation. I feel like now I am on the track to somewhere, I live on my own now as I am fortunate enough to have parents that are willing and able to support me but living on your own kind of exasperates all my feelings of loneliness and inadequacy even more now. I understand more about myself now, I understand a lot more about why I feel the way I do and why I am the way am. I guess that's what years of being in your own head does, I've always kind of interviewed in my head like some therapist or whatever. I ask myself these questions and I answer them. It's better to write them out instead I suppose.

There is a fear and maybe an expectation that this is all for not, that whatever I do won't be enough and that it will all crumble down. It's just a feeling of dread, there is part of brain that tells me that you know the reality of this situation and where it will most likely end up and the every negative thing I think about myself is correct. I think this has given me a tremendous fear of rejection and that any real or perceived slight or judgement is proof that all this negativity is correct, it literally hurts my soul. That's when I when I feel worse than ever, that's when the anxiety is unbearable.



ImAnAspie
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03 Mar 2015, 5:27 am

I love being alone.


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nerdygirl
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03 Mar 2015, 6:06 am

I am not yet diagnosed, but I would guess high-functioning.

I like having a small circle, but right now that basically is just my family. I need some other people IRL to talk to. I have tried initiating friendships with a couple of people and it's hard going.

It is hard to find people I connect with or have things in common with, and then when I do it is always *me* who is asking the other person how things are going/can we get together. Really no one reaches out to me. My mom doesn't even call me or make plans to get together.

I know that I am busy, but I do make an effort. I just can't make an effort with EVERYONE every single week! I need someone to pick up the slack from time to time, but no one does. It is like they think that it is up to ME all the time to make the relationship work, and I can't do it. I can't keep that up long term.

The fact is that ONE person has invited me to do something in a year's time (excluding family.) If I complain about not having friends/not having anyone initiate with me EVER, people don't believe it. I am friendly, kind, and generous. No one can figure out what the problem is, least of all me.

I'd be happy with two or three friends IRL outside my family, but I don't even have that.



andrethemoogle
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04 Mar 2015, 4:01 am

I prefer being alone or just with my parents, preferably my mom as I get along better with her.



JacobV
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04 Mar 2015, 4:05 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
and where are you on the spectrum...would you call yourself low functioning, high functioning or mid functioning? So this poll might kind of suck but it seems there are some varying opinions on this. I myself desire more interaction but I fail at it, so doesn't get me very far. So where do you fall?


I like interaction too but it fails me sometimes. I do not like interaction with disingenuous people or people who never had to work in their lives because talking to those people will actually make you stupider.



Jaden
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04 Mar 2015, 5:11 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
and where are you on the spectrum...would you call yourself low functioning, high functioning or mid functioning? So this poll might kind of suck but it seems there are some varying opinions on this. I myself desire more interaction but I fail at it, so doesn't get me very far. So where do you fall?

If it's online, I'll usually speak anonymously, like here and now, and only if it serves a purpose somehow.

Personally, I find it rather annoying how some people want me to be more social. My gf, while I love her more than life itself, doesn't really understand that it serves no purpose for me to 'get to know' other people. It doesn't make me feel any better about myself because no-one else that I'm going to meet in person is going to have the issues that I do, so I can't relate to anyone and they can't relate to me in turn for the same reason. I don't gain any real friendship because people are all the same, they go about their daily lives and their only reason for communication is either to waste time talking about pointless crap, or to work, neither has any interest to me at all. Since I'm with someone who accepts me, I see no reason to socialize for romantic pursuits because I found who I want to be with, and even if (somehow) it doesn't work out (crap would have to go horribly wrong for that to happen, to be honest), I don't want anyone else so I'd just give up in that regard.
So, to recap on all of that:
Pros:
None
Cons:
It wastes my time and energy.
I have to keep my mouth shut because people always argue with me.
I gain literally nothing from any social situation.
I am always reminded that I'm not like anyone else that I'm going to meet in person.
Probably a few others that I can't think of off the top of my head.


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Skilpadde
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04 Mar 2015, 9:25 pm

"I'm perfectly happy to stick to a small circle say involving a couple close family members/friends."

For most of my life the only people in my life who mattered to me (and the only ones I've loved) have been my parents and my late maternal grandparents. In particular I'm very close to my mother, and I was also to some lesser extent but still close to my grandfather when he lived.
I've never felt lonely and never desired more interaction than what they provide. I do need them though. I need to have loved ones (family) who love me back and I can trust entirely. But I don't need many people in my life. Nor do I want many in my life. I'm happy with my family, but I can't have more friends. Personal communication takes up too much time for me. I need a lot of me-time.

I'm high functioning.


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BeyondLogic
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04 Mar 2015, 11:41 pm

I desire more social interaction and I believe that I always have. It's just so very confusing.

I'm doing my best right now reading a bunch of body language and social skill books so that I may be able to participate in more social interaction and have some kind of a clue about what's going on.