Does my friend have AS?

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I have known him since this semester. I would not have suspected him to have it at first because:

He is great with the ladies--they go crazy for him and he has many friends who are girls (part of this is his great guitar skills I think)

He is really well adjusted and popular.

He is in a fraternity--he certainly enjoys it

He seems to have good social skills--he's got a decent wit and I haven't witnessed him being awkward.

But:

I have noticed alot of similarities of his observations and reactions to the world to mine. Little stuff, like he has spoken of how he analyzes everything, when driving he gets lost real easy because he gets confused (I think this is an aspie trait because we don't integrate all the sections of road and stuff into one whole map)

he talks to himself a lot when he's by himself he's told me, which is something I do as well.

He loves science and math and is studying physics--he is very smart

He has mentioned his own awkwardness with people (although its not apparent)

He rocks. He sits in his chair in his room with his headphones on and just rocks back and forth. I saw him doing it once when I opened his door.

We were with a group of people and the subject of autism and aspergers came up. The conversation went another way briefly, and my friend happened to mention the rocking in his chair and said he does it a lot, and said "I don't know, I think maybe I have some autism". I said "maybe you do", and I wanted to discuss it further with him but the conversation went away and it would be rude to try to bring it up again with a group of people.

But I kind of want to talk with him about it again but then maybe he will think its none of my business, and since he's so well adjusted he won't think its necessary to deal with something thats not creating an issue for him. Maybe he would take it personally that I am trying to get into his business--he doesn't seem to be embarrased at the thought, but maybe he doesn't see any reason for someone else to get involved and maybe he will think I am just trying to make myself feel better by giving someone else the same label as me.

I have told him I have aspergers a while back. He didn't act surprised or aske me about it though--I kind of expect people to if I tell them because they always do, but he had no reaction to my telling him, I don't know why, maybe he didn't care, it just didn't interest him enough to want to. Maybe it made him feel uncomfortable, maybe he thought I was bragging (I had talked a few weeks before about how aspergers is a gift and so many geniuses have it)--of course I'm probably over-analyzing.

if he has it I would really like to know or have him know he has it, because I don't have any friends that I know of that have it. It would just be really encouraging to me if I found out he did have it. I just really would like a friend I know I can relate to on that level.

He MIGHT have AS! As you said, circumstances may have just hidden a lot.

Steve

I think some people are starting to suggest that not all Autistics have to be socially impaired, however I really can't comment on if that is true or not.

I think that social impairment is definately the KeyStone of ASD's. Then again, he may only be mildly impaired and otherwise well adjusted, so it does not really present itself.

Remember, a lot of NTs have some autistic traits. It is a spectrum. Current diagnosis criteria stipulate that certain things need to be present, along with them causing an actual impairment in day to day life.


I would recommend that you just enjoy his friendship, and not concern yourself with DX'ing him.

Maybe he has AS

Well its weird because the social impairment is supposed to be a defining characteristic. Its at the top of the list for key characteristics. But I don't currently have real social impairments myself. When I am stressed or overloaded I do a little bit, but day to day one on one with people, I have better social skills than some NTs I know.

maybe... i'm always confused about the difference between "tendancies" and "being" at certain DX or whatever...

i get what you said about his reaction to when you told him of AS... i tried to broach the subject with my mom (i suspect she is too or is at least where i'm gettin some of my traits)... she did the same thing!

made me suspect that she had already suspected something similar in herself.. so maybe your friend has thought about it before

Only the people who know me the very best- i.e. my mother, my father and my husband- know (and believe) that I have AS. Of course, I don't really have any friends- i.e. to know me poorly OR well- so that list is bound to be pretty short no matter what. Some people are extremely good at hiding their AS traits. I think I even appear to be very social- to some people, anyway, for short periods of time.

In some ways I'm a lot like the girl in Mozart & the Whale. She's very social. (I just watched that movie, and I'm stunned at how the two main characters are like strange caricatures of me.) I think people forget that there are people like me around. We're very social and we look people in the eye and have strong facial expressions and strong recognition of other people's facial expressions, but we F up a lot and then disappear to spare ourselves further embarrassment and to spare others the irritation of putting up with us.

My point is, there are all kinds.

Maybe he has AS, and maybe he doesn't, but I don't think you'll find out unless you get to know him really, really well. Anyway, it's possible.

That is a pretty good description of me too!

I would say he's NT with autistic traits. He doesn't seem to have low social skills or sensory problems or nonverbal-communication deficiencies... the stimming and intraversion and talking to himself and logical mind are mild autie traits but not enough for a diagnosis. I'd call him a "Spectrum cousin".