"Autism Self-Diagnosis Is Not Special Snowflake Syndrome"

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Too easy to just pigeon hole someone. I would once like to say, I am not being combative. I just have this issue. Just try to listen to what I say and not how I say it. And, please let me get through a thought without interrupting me. And, don't think my reactions are bad. They are just odd because I perceive things differently.

Edit:

HA! "I'm not bad....I'm just wired this way."
Movie reference.....

i'm happy with my self-diagnosis (made after reading about autism when my nephew was diagnosed) because i don't want any accommodations and just understanding why i've struggled is enough for me.

Well said. This too is hard for me to understand because it doesn't seem to me like things have improved that much. But things do seem a bit less threatening, I mean I have only recently started letting go of the fear that I might be locked away somewhere if I don't pass well enough for normal.

Yes. Also, the issue of parents (including future parents) being denied custody of their children in a custody battle where the diagnosis of ASD is used against them in an ignorant, prejudicial way to cancel their legal guradianship - this can be an extremely real fear for parents on the spectrum; no-one can ever be certain that their marriage will not end in acrimony in the future.

We know how much ignorance of ASD there is, even in the 'professional' levels of society. These kinds of fears are understandable, real and extremely saddening. But until the culture of social ignorance changes, it can be very prudent for some people to keep their realisations as a private and personal matter - and as adults we have that choice. To be told what you 'should' do as a mature independent adult, by someone perhaps years younger and in totally different circumstances, and in a simplistic dismissive way, is nearly always bound to cause upset, as has happened here in the past. There are many factors to consider.

ha, ha. jessica rabbit.

After a certian age, what is the benefit of getting an official label, validation?

There is no cure. All I can do is have the courage to face issues head on. CBT, mindfulness and other coping strategies are helpful. Reading similar stories makes me feel better about myself.

I spent most of my life on the outside looking in. Finding a way to be happier, whether with a professional or on your own, is the real goal. It does not matter how you get there. Just keep on working at it, one day at a time.

Last edited by goatfish57 on 13 Nov 2015, 9:28 am, edited 1 time in total.

I can say it's far beyond that for me. I've never needed validation from someone else.



You get it!! You really, really get it!!

That is a really good point. If people are really seeking validation to prove their 'special snowflake' status, a professional diagnosis is the way to go. (Oops, that would be me... And I'm sure there are people who see it that way!)

It just goes to show that with an adult diagnosis, you're damned if you do, damned if you don't.

I respectfully disagree. Here is why:
1) With an official diagnosis, you're status must be recognized. Allowances must be made. That means for me it would be something like this:
a) In a meeting:
1) They know to let me finish. Interrupting me only makes me start over
2) My speech patterns and approach may seem elliptical, but If I can finish, it actually all ties together
3) They understand that I am not combative. I just process information differently
i) Sometimes that means I may be two or three steps ahead of the conversation and I may actually have good information. They just need to catch up.
4) That I may have trouble understanding things they take for granted, eg, 'help me understand'
b) At home:
1) My wife understands that I am not combative and do need things a certain way
2) Why my need for my "Organized clutter" can't be disturbed. It messes with my mental map
3) many of the criteria for meetings also applies to interpersonal interactions

There are other benefits such as behavioral modification therapy where you can be trained to respond in a socially acceptable way. Also, the ability to get access to those services if they are actually out of reach financially by 'normal means'.

Also, one is guessing about one's self, and we are usually right about ourselves. But, what if testing confirms something else that can be treated? There are a lot of issues that can either mask or be taken for one thing or another. For instance, there are a lot of symptoms that coincide with ASD. I recently took a double blind test that ruled out OCD (Internet) and a couple of other things. So, with proper diagnosis, that can be scratched off the list.

So, yeah, I do believe it makes a difference.

Excellent points, zkydz - I agree on all counts (sorry, didn't mean to be so negative!)

I did not perceive it as negative. That's the beauty of having a conversation with someone like me. I appreciate a sharing of information. I really don't assign things like negativity unless I am being yelled at in person. Text allows me to just consume information and pack it away in my 'social kitbag'. One more filing card to access at a later time.

This is a copy from a private message. Not going to say to whom, but I do believe it establishes my point of view:
That is the one thing I love about a conversation with someone like me.
It goes like this:
Statement:
Response:
Statement:
Response: Boundary set
Response to response: Gotcha. No hurt feelings. Acknowledgement and moving on. Boundary not crossed again.

Why can't every other conversation be this easy?

For me, it's all an exchange and the wonderful thing is that it does expand my mind and, hopefully, expose me to a contrary point of view that is new and important to consider.

I agree with the title of this thread....however I do not want to read the article and find out what 4chan trolls said or did on an autism page because its too early to view that kind of stupid.

That is how I try to be too... Part of autism is not instinctively knowing where the social boundaries are, and I've found it helps to simply apologize when I unintentionally cross them, and try not to repeat that particular blunder again!

That is part of our social conditioning. But, the beauty of being here is that, for me, this is the first time I can be myself. I do try to comport my interactions according to social norms as I understand it. But, I too have my contentious days. It sometimes fails. And, when it fails, it fails spectacularly. And, I hope that someone here would be able to tell me so without being emotional about it. Then, I'll go sulk a bit while I analyze everything and then come back with either one of two options:
1) Yep, I get it (No apology because I did not do it on purpose and I've acknowledged the input and acceptance)
2) Nope, don't get it....here's why....then move on.

And, for some reason, I am the gadfly in life. I've been dismissed from meetings because of the 'gadfly' effect. NTs seem to be really bad at accepting that someone has a differing input with logic to back it up, especially if it effectively shoots down their proposed course of action. Of course, it doesn't help that it comes out unfiltered and brash to them.

Yeah I know when I was at the self diagnosed stage I wasn't trying to feel 'special', I was trying to figure out why I always felt like such an outcast, loser, waste of life and felt lost like I didn't 'get it' when it comes to interaction and other kinds of things. Why I got compliments from teachers on reading above my level, doing well with research and writing and such...yet was called 'ret*d' by my peers. So yeah for me it was certainly about understanding and feeling less like I was simply a crappy person.

And part of what encouraged me to identify as self diagnosed was various things written by professionals I read...which did say things like 'If you think you're autistic you probably are'...but yes professionals in the field think this. I imagine it specifically refers to people who genuinely think that than fakes or someone looking for an identidy that just grabs the first thing they look up. But that won't stop people from saying 'oh well anyone can just wake up one morning and decide they are autistic than'...unfortunately.

@Sweetleaf:

Yep, I agree with you. For me, it's mostly about being to piece my life together and understand its crazy trajectories.. I can look at my life and see the golden opportunities that I totally blew up because of being the way I am. Had they been able to diagnose something like this back when I was young, it may have made a difference in my life by developing different, or expanding current coping mechanisms.
And, I see too many people who are looking for an excuse to justify their bad attitudes. Some people are just mean. Some can't help but appear that way. And, there are those that like to wallow. But, to me, the worst is those that try to use a diagnosis to aggrandize themselves and force others to do what they want.

Diagnosis should be about finding a better way to do things and find the limitations. Reach for the stars, but keep the feet planted sort of thing.