Should i tell my shrink i am autistic

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But the question is: how come she haven't diagnosed him with either of the two? Thats basically what he was saying: that in Europe they don't like to diagnose altogether.

I would say tell her. If she doesn't know or realise, your chance of being misdiagnosed, mismedicated and mistreated will be higher.

I think they do diagnose and take it into account, but they are simply not used to spontaneously communicate a diagnosis to the patients.

I should remember this idea to work with my autistic traits rather than against.

I did a quick google on european attitudes toward autism and found France is a leader in "retrograde" attitudes with some calling it a psychosis rather than a developmental issue. Overall, it's becoming better detected and acknowledged than 30 years ago. Sorry, if you're in France - you may just have to look harder for help.

Otherwise, I wouldn't hesitate to tell the shrink - honesty is so important for treatment. You could start by asking her what she knows about autism to feel her out. You could say that you've been reading about traits and symptoms of autism and think that many of your challenges overlap. Ask for her opinion and see what she says. Your shrink might be on the spectrum too for all you know! She might just say, yes, she thinks you probably are. Or otherwise.

It must be tough and confusing to hear women say to you to stay the way you are - but not understand why they don't pursue a relationship. It sounds like you understand you may need to change *something* to be in a relationship you want - see if you can get the shrink to help you figure out *what*.

Even if the shrink doesn't think you are neurodivergent enough to call it autism, you could get a better diagnosis by bringing up why you think that and focus treatment on your most pressing life struggles (like romantic relationships). It could be as straightforward as learning conversation rules, changing your hygiene, or developing a more positive outlook that attracts women (mood regulation) - just examples). It's never easy.

There are numerous books on amazon.com about autism that you could start reading including ones about dating. Even some aimed at kids might be more educational than you think. Socialthinking.com has online modules you can pay to take - not sure how helpful they are but I'm considering them.

The point isn't usually a diagnosis for adults (unless you need it for government resources etc.) as others said but to identify areas where your development diverges from neurotypical peers so you see where you are "out of sync" in social situations or sensory experiences. It sounds like you want to work on social thinking and communication skills, maybe executive functioning skills (these are my areas to work on). You may not understand social rules and may not even know what you are "missing" about social situations that cause people to reject you like the women you mentioned dating. For example, I do well one on one with people but struggle when I'm in a group setting like a work meeting. Good luck. Curious how you decide to proceed.

^^^thanks for this, I think and think... and hope take a decision.

There is some confusion between posters in the posts above, but no worries that happens
So only for the sake of clarity: I am a woman and I don't currently feel romantic relationship as a problem.

I am only considering the possibility of working on making friends, and wondering if I should tell my shrink about my autistic traits. After reading your posts, I tend to think that it could be to my advantage to tell if the shrink has a minimum of unbiased knowledge of Asperger.

Also, my autism is something I am keen on hiding to everybody, so I am anxious at the idea of telling my shrink, I am also generally anxious about telling anything, so that...

Do you have a diagnosis?

Sefl-diagnosed, I just know I have it. I am not keen on having confirmation, on having a diagnosis. Just want to deal better with it.

YES. Absolutely!

How can she help you if she doesn't know the full truth.
If there is ANYONE you can trust it should be her, she will keep it confidential too.
1. Why would you look stupid, autistic people are no more stupid that NT's
2. You are not, Autism is a real condition, it's just a factor in your personality, everyone has personal challenges.
3. Now is YOUR chance to educate them (her), write down everything you want to say to her about what Autism is, and then you can clearly explain the condition and hopefully she can gain a good understanding of it.

I would discuss with your psychiatrist that you suspect an autistic spectrum disorder. I wrote about this in my series... And I know you don't want to hear this - but a self-diagnosis is not a diagnosis.


I wrote about it HERE

^^^still I don't especially need a confirmation in itself from a professional. What would I do with this official professional label? Stick it on my forehead and hang my head in shame?

Simply, would be better that she knows specifically for the development of friendship.

On other points, like anxiety, I may perfectly well be treated like a normal person.

Autism is only a part of you.

There is some evidence that neurodiverse people do not respond in the same way to treatments as neurotypicals. I think it's important to raise the subject, even if you do not pursue a professional autism assessment.

With the situation you describe where you live, it might be better to raise the subject and see where it leads, rather than to make a declaration of being autism. It depends if you trust this person to treat you fairly and professionally.

Your therapist cannot help you unless they know you, including at least the symptoms that lead you to suspect an ASD diagnosis. Unless you are in a country where the diagnosis is actively harmful (eg., France) then I would recommend revealing that you suspect ASD.

The methodology for working with some one with an ASD diagnosis is far more skills and tasks oriented than the prevalent emotional-talk-or-drugs regime (at least in the US). Generally, treatment is only indicated for social skill building and secondary diagnoses (chiefly anxiety). And then it is a matter of teaching how to read your own anxiety level, how to preemptively manage it (self-advocacy, building support structures), and how to cope/defuse anxiety before meltdown/shutdown/burnout.

I'm in the process of switched therapists due to my diagnosis, because I found the therapy experience draining (alexithymia + external emotional processing? not a good recipe for success). The one I was seeing was good, but very concerned over my low social appetite, wanted to dig into family trauma that I have already worked through, etc.

As most therapists only have one or two tools that they are comfortable with, they tend to see things that they know how to treat, and are liable to missing important underlying pieces if it doesn't fit their perspective.

I am unable to take the initiative to talk. So unless she asks "Do you think you are autistic?", I will not be able to tell.

For example when she asks "how are you?" , I say "fine" because I am ok at the moment she asks.

I am unable to take the initiative to say "now fine, but I cry everyday at least one hour, I currently have frequent meltdowns and I am often looking for a way to end my life.

So it is not only about my autism that I did not tell. At least with her I can answer the questions, the other shrinks, I was answering most of the time "I don't know" and some "yes" or "no", pathetic.

Maybe I should write her, I'm so useless.

That is actually a good idea. Often, when I have trouble talking or am having a lot of social anxiety, I write instead of talk. Write her a note and plan to hand it to her whenever she asks, "How are you?" and maybe also ask her to start asking, "How have you been?" instead.

Even handing a paper is difficult but I will do it, at least she will get a full message. I will look disabled, but after all I am in a way.

Actually the title of the thread should have been, how can I communicate with my shrink? I just understood while reading the posts.

Yes, I agree, make a list of reasons on your computer, phone or notebook, just write whenever you remember something new. Once you have a full list go back and put it all in to a suitable order.