Should i tell Her?

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Hey there!

In the last year or so i spent some time researching about the subject, and now i've come to the realization that i may be on a spectrum, based on solid evidences and telling past experiences.

All the tests i've taken around also seems to suggest so (and not in a subtle way: very high scores in AQ tests, monotropy tests, raaad-s tests, hdad tests)
A LOT of the experiences i've been reading in the forum here, ways of thinking, ways of acting, ways of masking, everything sounds super familiar to me, as it happens to me too on a daily basis.

In the last period i feel the ever increasing need to tell someone i know about this.

Now, i have a friend of mine who's working in a structure with low-functional autistic guys, that needs care.

We were pretty close a few years ago, now, a bit less, but we still chat and meet occasionally, as we also hang out with the same group of friends from time to time.
Doubt she's suspecting anything, as i'm pretty ok at masking. (even though, lately, bit less, as my doubts grown bigger and i became more distant)

I just feel the big need to talk someone about this, and if there's one person i think of that can be open minded enough, and also informed about the subject, it's her.
She's also very smart and understanding, a positive figure.
I always "felt" a kind of a connection to her, even though it's difficult to explain.

Do you think that it would be a good idea to tell her about my doubts?
Obviously in my head i'm projecting every possible scenario, including the negative ones, but...what could go bad, realistically?

Maybe through her eyes we could re-live past, shared experiences, and how those could be related to being on a spectrum.

Bare in mind that i'm not seeking for a diagnosis!
And i also know that being on a spectrum isn't an illness, it's just a different kind of way the brain works, so i'm taking this in a pro-active way, not a negative one.

I just feel the big need to share these things with someone i know, and that can be helpful for feeling a bit better/relieving some pressure.
My family already have its problems, so i don't think would be a good idea to start with them!

Just wondering, you know.
Thank you for your attention, have a good day!

Before you say too much, possibly ask her about High Functioning Autistics.

Probably yes. Is she good at her job? Does she try to help her clients express themselves, or does she try to get them to act normal? If the latter, I'd look elsewhere.

I voted yes.

Yeah, that would probably be a smart way to start that conversation!
Wich i still have doubts how to start it, in case. As you would guess i'm not very good at talking or preparing speechs

Guess so, even though i never saw her at work, obviously.
But she's working there for 7-8 years now, so i have to guess she's good at her job. She graduated for that position, studied for it.
Making them "act normal" would be a thing that someone that doesn't know autism would do, so...don't think it's the case.

I don't recommend a speech.

A short, simple, direct question about high-functioning Autism that does not mention you could help you get a sense of how they perceive high-functioning Autism. (Do they doubt it exists? Do they think high-functioning Autistics have traits that disagree with traits you have? Etc.)

For instance: "I read that some people have High-Functioning Autism. Are any of the Autistics you work with High-Functioning? How can you tell if an Autistic is high-functioning, or not? How can you tell if someone is a high-functioning Autistic?"

*IF* they seem generically respectful and friendly toward hypothetical high-functioning Autistics, then: "How would I know if *I* was a high-functioning Autistic?" ("Gee, do you think you are a high-functioning Autistic?!" "I didn't say that. I just asked how I would know.")

P.S. There is no warranty on the above opinion.

I'm making an uneducated guess and could be completely wrong.

I have the advantage that I know I'm Autistic (I have a doctor's note to prove it!) and my life-history, overall, speaks well of me...though maybe I'm kind of week on socializing and romance.

Of course, there's never a warranty, but those sounds like very good advices!
Thanks a lot for that!!

Now i have a much better idea on how i could start that conversation on a more balanced note.
Than, the conversation could spin into a milllion of different ways that i can't predict, but that's out of my control!

Of course, not having a paper to prove it there will always be room for less open-minded people to think that i'm making those things up for whatever reason.
But i know how i feel.

Seeing which way a conversation like that goes seems like a good idea to me.

>->=>->"But I know how I feel."

That might be an advantage for you.

I had no clue that I might be Autistic until I was 64. My Dad was still alive (and quite old) then and happened to have a young boy visit his house, a young boy suspected of being Autistic. And the reports I received said that more than once Dad said the kid was doing the same "weird" things I used to do...back in the 1950s!

I absolutely did not think I was Autistic. But over the years I had decided I was "different" but I had not been able to identify that difference. Given the hint from Dad I decided to read about Autism on the Internet...expecting to quickly conclude it had nothing to do with me.

But I quickly decided it was describing me! So, I got my bride to read up about it and she also thought it was describing me.

I lacked confidence in our conclusions but I found this test on the Internet:
>=>> Autism-Spectrum Quotient Test (AQ)
and it also said I was probably Autistic. (Then my bride took that test on my behalf, answering the questions they way she thought I should, and she got the same result: I was probably Autistic.)

Later I found another test on the Internet:
>=>> Aspie Quiz ^{You do not have to register to take this quiz!}
And it also said I was probably Autistic.

The reason I mention these tests is that if you take some test like them, and it says you are probably Autistic, then when you discuss this with that gal, and end up telling her you suspect you are Autistic, then the test results would reinforce your opinion.

Good luck! I hope you end up with an interesting conversation that you are glad to have had.