Nerds and Popular People: Aspies and Psychopaths?

Post Reply New Topic

What do you think when you hear the word nerd? I think of someone who enjoys more academic subjects: the sciences, mathematics, history, literature, the fine arts. I think of someone who is quiet, modest, and perhaps prone to social blunders. I think of someone who is studious, thoughtful, and intelligent. When I hear the word geek, I think of something similar but with greater emphasis on technical skills, some unusual interest (like comic books or science fiction), and an even more socially blundering personality (although perhaps not as introverted and conscientious as the nerd). Both nerdiness and geekdom have clear tendencies towards Asperger's syndrome.

What things come to mind with popular people, though? Surely, it's mostly negative: arrogant and self-aggrandizing, shallow and more concerned with looks and popularity than anything else, lacking in focus and work ethic, prone to bully those unlike them, socially facile, good at presenting a likable exterior, prone to more visible emotional displays, spontaneous or "fun loving," sexually promiscuous, materialistic, and often able to reach positions of influence in business and government. What is a psychopath but an exaggerated version of these same things? A psychopath is simply more shallow and more materialistic, more ruthless in pursuit of power, more socially facial and manipulative, more impulsive and unstable, more narcissistic, and crueler and more a bully.

Now with more popular or popularity-aspiring people in the world than nerds and geeks, is it any surprise how sh***y some things turn out in the world? That is why advertising preys on desires we don't share, why the news media cover issues we couldn't care less about, and why our culture sees independent thought as a bad thing. Workplaces are structured around the assumption that employees will want to climb the corporate ladder for more money, a spiffier-sounding title, and greater social recognition. The notion that I couldn't care less about what Joe Q. Random thinks of me and that I'd just rather do my own thing doesn't even seem to cross their minds.

I think of several things.

Nerdcore: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nerdcore_hip_hop

Revenge of the Nerds: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Revenge_of_the_Nerds

American Splendor: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvqGJaDZcYk

N.E.R.D. : http://www.n-e-r-d.com/

I also think of people like Richard Stallman, Bill Gates, Steve Wozniak, Len Bosack, Will Wright and everybody at GDC/E3/CES.

Those people changed society in huge ways, in ways that will last for a long long time. I'm talking Karl Marx kind of fame.

What I really hate is how I am considered "boring" or not "fun enough" because I don't constantly drink myself into a stupor as most people my age do. I plainly don't understand why that would be considered fun. And if TV and movies are any indicator, this is the main way to meet women, by going to bars and nightclubs.

The funny thing is I'm not attracted to women who are too much like me in some ways; I find women who are more socially skilled and somewhat more adventurous attractive.

Tell them they aren't fun when they become Alcoholics. Also, if those are the people that you consider friends I'd hate to see how people you don't like treat you.



It's not. What are your interests? Find a club in your area where it focuses around that interest so if you talk about it incessantly (I'm under the assumption that you have AS.) it doesn't matter.



The internet is a great way to meet people like this. Even better, Second Life, is filled to the brim with women. Do not be shy with them as they will consider it snubbing. After the niceties, let them know right away about being not too social, it might be a little early right away to tell them about being an Aspie. It'll take time, but it will work. The trick is to have as many conversations going as possible, this is the same with chats/IMs. If you know yourself to be pleasing to the eye webcams help alot too.

Just some suggestions from watching my girlfriend, who is very much a social butterfly.