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Graelwyn
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22 Sep 2007, 7:20 pm

Just look at a random person and be able to see from their stance and facial expression what sort of mood/thought processes they are in ?

I cannot see how that is possible unless the expression is extreme and obvious like laughter, crying or a happy smile.

Afterall, there are multiple options for each body position and facial expression, so how can they know without lots of guesswork ?



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22 Sep 2007, 7:20 pm

Graelwyn wrote:
Just look at a random person and be able to see from their stance and facial expression what sort of mood/thought processes they are in ?

I cannot see how that is possible unless the expression is extreme and obvious like laughter, crying or a happy smile.

Afterall, there are multiple options for each body position and facial expression, so how can they know without lots of guesswork ?


I think women are better at it.


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gwenevyn
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22 Sep 2007, 7:26 pm

No, they cannot.

Sometimes I'm thinking very serious or awful things, and the NTs around me think I am in a perky, good mood. I am also often accused of thinking things I'm not thinking, by my NT family members.

I think it's more often a case of reading deliberately communicated facial messages. This may be one reason why aspies sometimes give NTs "the willies" or come across as arrogant.


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Graelwyn
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22 Sep 2007, 7:30 pm

What would some examples of deliberately communicated facial messages be though ?



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22 Sep 2007, 7:31 pm

They THINK they are. It seems people can't read me and, using their logic, can't read others. I have read the stupid books(Why write a book if everyone knows it?), and they are GARBAGE!



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22 Sep 2007, 7:34 pm

Graelwyn wrote:
What would some examples of deliberately communicated facial messages be though ?


A brow furrowed in sympathy, eyes widened to say "wow, that was horrible!", etc.

We can do it, too, but not so masterfully, because we have to think about it.

We're sort of like babies talking in sign language, among adults who have mastered it. We clumsily copy what we pick up on, but we're not fluent. I'm not, anyhow. And I don't know about you but I find that sometimes even when I know what I probably ought to be doing with my face or body, I rebel against it, because it seems (even if I really am emotionally feeling whatever is associated with these outward signs) false to imitate it. It isn't false, of course.... but it feels like that.


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22 Sep 2007, 7:48 pm

I'm usually pretty good at it, unless, like you say, someone has schooled their face into a deliberate expression. But humans aren't usually don't think to do that, unless they are concentrating on deceiving someone, as in the "poker face".

I can usually walk into a crowded room and can tell right off what the mood is. Just in looking at the postures, tone of voice, etc.



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22 Sep 2007, 8:09 pm

They're better at it than we are I'd say, but they're not mind readers.



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22 Sep 2007, 8:11 pm

Sylvia wrote:
I'm usually pretty good at it, unless, like you say, someone has schooled their face into a deliberate expression. But humans aren't usually don't think to do that, unless they are concentrating on deceiving someone, as in the "poker face".

I can usually walk into a crowded room and can tell right off what the mood is. Just in looking at the postures, tone of voice, etc.


I didn't mean deliberate as in "conscious" or "manipulative". More in the sense of "purposeful".


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22 Sep 2007, 8:20 pm

gwenevyn wrote:
And I don't know about you but I find that sometimes even when I know what I probably ought to be doing with my face or body, I rebel against it, because it seems (even if I really am emotionally feeling whatever is associated with these outward signs) false to imitate it. It isn't false, of course.... but it feels like that.


I don't even think of it as rebelling... that sense of being false is really something I want to avoid.

If someone expects me to act a certain way, and I know what they want... I still don't like to do it... because it isn't natural.


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23 Sep 2007, 2:53 am

gwenevyn wrote:
No, they cannot.

Sometimes I'm thinking very serious or awful things, and the NTs around me think I am in a perky, good mood. I am also often accused of thinking things I'm not thinking, by my NT family members.


Reading Aspies doesn't count. NTs are just as awful at reading Aspies as Aspies are at reading NTs. However, between NTs, it does work as the poster proposed.

gwenevyn wrote:
I think it's more often a case of reading deliberately communicated facial messages. This may be one reason why aspies sometimes give NTs "the willies" or come across as arrogant.


No, I don't think it works like that. Personal experience tells me that I can communicate just as easily with some Aspies as NTs can between themselves. I don't have to do anything deliberately to achieve that, I just "act naturally" 8)



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23 Sep 2007, 3:27 am

Graelwyn wrote:
Just look at a random person and be able to see from their stance and facial expression what sort of mood/thought processes they are in ?



I'm pretty good at it.

My husband (aspie) used to baffle me for years. I often thought he was cranky was me or upset about something. But then I realised it's because he's so blank with expressions and monotone voice.

I can read NT's pretty well but it is difficult to read Aspies.

Helen



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23 Sep 2007, 4:19 am

Normal people can read normal people; it's one reason why those on the 'trum are bullied in certain situations, we give off signals that are misinterpreted, misread and/or entirely unreadable.

Smelena just gave a good example.



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23 Sep 2007, 7:09 am

rdos wrote:
gwenevyn wrote:
No, they cannot.

Sometimes I'm thinking very serious or awful things, and the NTs around me think I am in a perky, good mood. I am also often accused of thinking things I'm not thinking, by my NT family members.


Reading Aspies doesn't count. NTs are just as awful at reading Aspies as Aspies are at reading NTs. However, between NTs, it does work as the poster proposed.


MAN would I love to see PROOF! There is just to much evidence to discount it!

rdos wrote:
gwenevyn wrote:
I think it's more often a case of reading deliberately communicated facial messages. This may be one reason why aspies sometimes give NTs "the willies" or come across as arrogant.


No, I don't think it works like that. Personal experience tells me that I can communicate just as easily with some Aspies as NTs can between themselves. I don't have to do anything deliberately to achieve that, I just "act naturally" 8)


This at least makes sense, and has little to do with body language. The idea of giving one the willies could be because of blank expressions, monotone voices, and other unusual things. To tell you the truth, some of that gave me the willies. I finally understand.

The arrogant bit has to do with knowing a lot, trying to be helpful, being blunt, and not being quiet. You MAY just be trying to be helpful, but they figure you are just trying to show you know so much and that they know less, so it is what an arrogant person would do.



2ukenkerl
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23 Sep 2007, 7:31 am

Smelena wrote:
Graelwyn wrote:
Just look at a random person and be able to see from their stance and facial expression what sort of mood/thought processes they are in ?



I'm pretty good at it.

My husband (aspie) used to baffle me for years. I often thought he was cranky was me or upset about something. But then I realised it's because he's so blank with expressions and monotone voice.

I can read NT's pretty well but it is difficult to read Aspies.

Helen


Helen,

You seem nice, intelligent, and helpful, so I assume you are being honest. But, frankly, at least in the US, it seems that they really have no idea. I have read books(why do they have books if everyone knows it?) and those "signals" RARELY mean what they claimed. Even with regard to womans subtle comeons, etc... There are books about how males miss them. I am certainly one of the worst there, but males TEND to be bad. Maybe that is why they speak of the extreme male brain. Aspies lack such understanding of subtle things.

As for bullies, I seemed different, was a loaner, was a pacifist, etc... I didn't have any reputation, etc... Have you ever seen American Grafitti with the fonz? They showed him after his conversion of sorts. I have the same ideas about being ethical, and being polite, and didn't hide who I was, but otherwise was the OPPOSITE! The fonz, in one show on happy days spelled it out. He had a REP so people rarely challenged him. If they DID challenge him, he would show some great feat of simple strength, to scare the enemy off. After that, he would, if need be, fight. I don't know if they ever showed him fighting. I didn't have the rep to begin with. Bullies are like bees. Once one singles you out, the others may start coming in.

Still, there were two times I can remember bullies DISSAPPEARING! ONCE after being SHOCKED when he realized that physically he and I were such close matches. I STILL remember the shocked look. It was like the episode of the twighlight zone, where one guy became the fastest gun by drinking an elixer provided by a traveling salesperson and beat EVERYONE. Towards the end, he and his opponent noticed they BOTH drank the same elixer! Anyway, I never saw that bully again! The second time was a time I was tired of it, and hit the guy. HE never came back EITHER.