Is it normal behavior?

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The other night I went to a nearby computer lab to print out an assignment. I accidentally left my iPod in my room and heard a very strange conversation. Two girls were sitting next to me in the lab and at some point another pair of girls walked in. The girls sitting next to me started talking about one of the girls who had just walked in. They called her some really bad names and said some nasty things about the girl who had just walked in.

Then they called her over and spoke very nicely to her. They chatted in what appeared to be a friendly manner and then the other girls walked away. The two girls started talking bad about the other girls as soon as they were out of ear shot.

Is this normal behavior? Why, if you hate someone, would you voluntarily call them over and talk to them? Does this occur very often? And why would you waste so much energy on someone you don't like?

I'm very confused.

There are some pretty unpleasant people out there who enjoy the 'game' of being two-faced, deceitful and hypocritical.

I think the reason the use energy to be nice to her is because they enjoy the game and they enjoy the fact that they are fooling her.

As for whether or not this is normal - well, it is normal behaviour for unkind people.
This doesn't make it okay or right though - thier behaviour towards this person is bad and cruel.

PEOPLE ARE MAD!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! ! Yes it happens. It happens all the time. I don't get it, but I have been on many ends of this sort of situation...believing I was NT for so long exposed me to a hell of alot of madness in social scenes.

I have concluded that there are a million "snake in the grass" like people in this world. I am forever trying to explain this madness to my 9 year old AS daughter, but as you can imagine, it doesn't sit well. Mean, nasty, fake, manipulating madness!

Yes, it's horrible. I knew someone like that and after finding out how two-faced she was I didn't know how to deal with her anymore... not that I ever could deal with her, but it made interacting much much more difficult.

I don't understand how someone can talk like that about the person and then be nice/normal to them. I can't do that. I've tried to be normal or at least friendly to people I greatly dislike, but it doesn't work. *shakes head*
They really are mad.

Good luck with your daughter. I'm 22 and I still don't get it. Hopefully she'll be able to avoid these kind of situations.

I wonder if people talk about me like that sometimes? That's not very nice nor does it make me want to be social.

This is why I barely leave the house anymore. It's real.

You oughtn't let bad people stop you from being out of the house. If you do I think you let the bad people win. I think nice people ought to lead by example and, at least in my case, I don't really care about what people think of me. Unless you don't want to be out of the house in the first place. And then I guess the point it moot.

Yep, sorry to say, this is normal. My 17 yr old is AS and is so innocent in this area. She cannot understand, like you why people would do this sort of thing. She has been on the talked about end many times. I'm actually glad she is AS. She is very kind hearted.

I still think it is fairly repulsive the way some people carry on, likely another reason I don't mesh well with others. I know for a fact that others speak about us (myself and my daughter) in this manner, as we have both been in situations where we have either overheard something we weren't meant to or been told by others...

in fact, i answered a call from an NT "friend" one day, several years ago. it was strange to me that she was calling, as she had just left my place with a friend of hers and they were off to drop one of them off at the bus to get home. only, she didn't have any clue that her cell phone had dialed me, as it was in her pocket. the entire way down the street, the two of them spoke all about my "strange", "bratty", "rude" child and how I clearly had no "handle on" on this "little bugger", etc, etc. i was so dumbfounded. wasn't even sure what to do with myself, so I just stayed on the other end listening, until the call ended.

later that evening, she rang and asked if I wanted to go upstairs for a quick coffee and a chat. so fairly casually, I did. only, i used the opportunity to call her on it. was the most uncomfortable and very sad. this was the mother of my AS daughter's BEST and only real friend at that time, whom i had grown up with....*shakes head*

what a VERY sad reality indeed.

my daughter always says "I just don't WANT friends then"

Stupidcat (I bet your not that stupid!), I leave the house when I have something to do, or someone to see, but I'm just finding myself less motivated to do so. Disillusionment. It's a killer.

That is normal, it's rude and two faced of them, but it's normal. Follow them around a bit and eventually you'll hear them mocking her 'oh she thought we liked her, what a moron!' or something of that course. I always felt if you dislike someone, tell them. I don't always tell why, but I let them know I dislike them.

I wish I could say that I don't know how that feels but unfortunately I do. Two of my best friends from school, one whom I'd known for 6 years and another for 4, talked about me behind my back to other friends. They wanted me to "act normal" and stop being a "goody-goody". They said I was "pompous, dense, and fake". One friend I've not talked to in 3 years and the other is still friendly with me. He doesn't know I know what he said about me.

I hope your daughter can find a good, true friend. I have one and I wouldn't trade her for all the world, despite all the pain I went through to find her. I hope that she can find someone truly kind that can connect with her and won't judge her for being a little different. Please always remind her that good people do exist even if they're hard to find.






Spaceplayer, I hope that you can find things outside the house to enjoy, even if they don't involve people. I went through a long period (almost 2 years) where I wouldn't even leave my house to go check the mail. It only made my problems worse and made me sick in spirit. I don't want anyone to go through something like that. And I'm not so stupid

If good is normal and evil is abnormal and to backstab is evil, hurtful and vengeful, then the deducement here is that the actions of the girls was evil and abnormal human behavior.

PS - not to confuse *common* with normal.

That's a good point. Thank you. I'm not sure if I made the distinction between normal and common very clear for myself. I know that such behavior is abhorrent but I was wondering if it was a common/normal action among people of any age.

My fundamental question still remains however. Why exactly do people engage in this behavior? Perhaps there is no clear cut answer.

I've always felt that if you dislike someone, don't voluntarily involve yourself with them. To do otherwise seems like a waste of time and energy.

To feel powerful at the expense of others.