Disclosure of AS

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There has been quite a bit of discussion lately about the pros and cons of letting others know one has AS. I have just started a course and decided to let my tutor know just to see what his reaction would be but also because I have had some negative reactions from teachers in the past (presumably to my AS). I mentioned that there might be aspects of my social behaviour (including its absence on occasion!) which he might find "different" but that otherwise I was perfectly normal in all other respects !

He said that in his own extended family there were several relatives that had a disability either mental or physical and that therefore he had an accepting attitude to "disability". I mentioned that most of "us" don't regard AS as a disability, more like natural variability. This flumoxed him a bit because it challenged his politically-correct response (which was also I think genuine) but he seemed to get the message.

I think disclosure worked in this case because my tutor seems like basically a decent and naturally humble person . Obviously, disclosure might not be successful with others.

I just thought I'd like to share this with you.

I'm glad that this went well for you

Sounds like everything went well for you which is good.
Before I started my current course my mother told the tutor that I have AS and she had no idea what it was. My mother gave her a little pamphlet on AS for her to keep.
She has not discriminated against me or anything life that...but rather is still oblivious to the fact that I may somethings hard that others fins very easy.

I had to tell a tutor I had asperger's when we stumbled over the topic of school in conversation, looking back on it I don't think it was that much a good idea in my case since we were just getting to know eachother

I have had numerous reactions from letting others know I have AS, outcomes both positive and negative.

If theres one thing I've picked up on though it's a good idea to avoid telling people who've haven't known you for very long and that way they will find traits they attribute to you and match them with aspergers, not the other way around.

I found some people don't treat you the same after hearing you have AS when they don't know you well, I told some guys who have known me in excess of 8 years and it was cool; if anything they liked me more.

But people who find about me through rumor spreading by others who tell them I have AS almost fear me when they don't understand what its all about and mistake it for ADD or something so they stay away from me, my advice is to tell these freaked out people 'its just a branch of autism' if you want to melt the ice and find acceptance.

Yes. The message seems to be that you have to discriminate about who you tell. For example, I don't disclose at work because this can be used against you.

I didn't know it was called AS when I was at school, and couldn't tell them that. They'd have to figure it out for themselves if they were aware of it, but it seemed most of my teachers were alright with it. Now, I just warn people that I may be insensitive, so that if I do something wierd, they might be more accepting.

I just think you were smart about telling this tutor --

First of all, it's a smart thing to tell a guy like this who is humble and accepting. I wouldn't bother telling someone with a large ego, because they probably won't listen, and may use it against you in some manner later on.

But, as others have said, you can kind of casually say Asperger's is a syndrome that is along the autism spectrum, but it's way up at the high-functioning end, and it's just not that big a deal. It just means that there are some differences between the way you behave, and the way you think, and the level of interest you have in certain subjects. It's an advantage in some situations, and a disadvantage in others. But it's no big deal. I think the more casually that one brings up this subject, the better it is received.

Kris

I think I can handle it without telling people and swallow the clunkiness. I'll never be like the smooth operators in Amazing Race 6, there will always be shortcomings but to be accurate, who are other people to me? Or me to them? Why should they care? Are they about to lynch me and showing them my "disability card" is going to get me a pass? Not hardly. The only thing the mean in this world know is mean and the really damaging thing that the aggressively mean who are dumb enough to show hand don't understand is what they lose by exposing themselves. It's a tidal wave they can't control though they'll spend everything they have trying to shore up their position. I think that with some aspies, you don't care but you also walk away like Joni Mitchell. I have to decide what the right thing to do is on a case to case basis but sometimes you have to put the poison on the table and that is literally something that my NT grandfather did. He offered a cup of poison for a con man who tried to poison his adoptive father/piggy bank to avoid repaying a debt. To me, being mean comes naturally and holding that in plus cloaking aspie deficits and strangeness has been my job my whole life. I'm realistic. Aspies need to incorporate the NT perspective and the duty to counter aggression in their aspie version of pragmatism. Do it for Joni Mitchell. I would.

Of course, if you tell people you have AS, it's an instant way to know whether or not they'll be good friends with you. At least if they're still your friends after you tell them that, it means they're still willing to be your friend, and are able to accept whatever flaws you might have.

That's a good point.

I actually don't think I have full-blown AS, but I relate to most of the AS traits and always come out borderline on Aspie quizzes, etc. I imagine I'm somewhere between the NT and Aspie world, but I score more on the Aspie side and relate to all of you a lot.

So of course I would never tell anyone I have AS, but the other day my friend and I were discussing psychology and I mentioned Asperger's and how I have a lot of those tendencies, and she was very interested. She had never heard of AS before, so I am glad I was able to introduce her to it by using some of my own personality traits as an example. I imagine in the future, if she ever meets a diagnosed (self- or professional-diagnosed) Aspie, she will look at them as people with personalities, rather than people with problems.

I'm not sure if this is right or not, but I like to think of Asperger's as a personality type, with many variations of this personality. After all, like you said OP, it is not a "disability," or say, some disease that sort of covers up who you really are or could be if you were cured; rather it is a collection of traits that needs no cure, and it IS who you are.

So dosh - I am glad you were able to tell your professor and he took it well.

I think of my degree and nature of aspieness to be a handicap. I can't even bond on Warcraft when I am grinding for my brother meanwhile he is fragile x and just gets along with people. I can't bond at all. On the one hand I am not that vulnerable about it but that means my good efforts are wasted on people and I am not properly rewarded/reciprocated for my conduct. Pity.

I suppose it could be considered a social disability???? Maybe it depends on the individual and how he/she views it, as in, how much it affects his/her life (in a negative way).

i feel like i have to be nicer to NTs in order to avoid NT persecution but at the same time I know that the NTs I have dealt with who require my conscious accommodation are not very nice people. I like nice NTs but the not nice ones are not fair people and have made cloaking seem more important and required than I would like it to be.

I have problems with that distinction too. I've lost friends that way, or rather, failed to realize that I was either being used or they never really were my friends. My father thinks that they stopped being friends with me because they were jealous of my talents. Whatever they could do, I could do better and faster. However, because of these "talents" I don't consider having AS to be a disability. I cannot help the fact that people think the way they do and feel jealous just because someone is supposedly better than them at something.

What's wrong with ADD? I've never met anyone who was freaked out by it.

I debate this question in my head frequently. Mostly I opt to keep it to myself.