I don't get along with my students!

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I teach a class of 6th grade girls. Quite possibly the worst thing I could teach, because they're at a very needy age. Younger children are still babyish enough that I can talk to them like little kids and treat them that way, and older teens have figured some stuff out. But these girls have so much drama that I'm supposed to solve for them...how can I when I still haven't figured out how to coexist with other women?

There was an incident a few days ago when their mentor came and told them she wouldn't be returning to the school. The girls began screaming and crying hysterically. This was overwhelming for me, and I just couldn't feel any empathy. So what did I do? I started yelling at them to get in their seats--which no one did. I got right in one girl's face and screamed at her. I think I made a lot of them hate me. Afterward, I realized that I should have shown more warmth, even if I didn't feel it. But how can I do that when it just doesn't come to me naturally? My responses to their emotional crises are always really thought-out and analyzed because I don't have a feminine instinct about those things.

It hurt when a girl said to me recently, "You only care about the boys. You should just BE a boy." It took a lot of self-control for me to not respond in a moment of anger and wait until the next day to tell her how much it hurt me.

Teaching in general is tough because I have to deal with loud noise all the time, and these girls are obsessed with scented lotions and sprays! I hate fragrance! The only positive about it is that I get to tell them to stop, whereas in many work environments it would be wrong for me to constantly correct my peers and tell them to stop doing things.

wow, you really are in the wrong job.

I relate to your not getting into all the sixth grade drama that goes on. I wouldn't enjoy that either, or sympathize with it -- I've always found it somewhat repulsive.

I naturally respond better to the boy that I teach as well. I can tell you that over the years, I have developed (and worked on) my ability to like girls and respond to them. Liking boys is a natural thing with me, but I've finally come to the conclusion that I like girls as well. They have their benefits, even if they are annoying little creatures! They have a nurturing side to them that is a lovely thing to see in action. Also, I find that girls are more practical than boys at times.

If you decide to stay teaching this age group, over time you probably will learn to relax and enjoy the girls. You'll never enjoy the drama, but you'll probably develop the ability to ignore it.

Kris

I feel you mrsry! I at one point thought I'd go into teaching (I went to a university whose specialty was teaching) and did one semester of art education. I did observations at the laboratory school there and after the first few times, I changed my mind. I have a hard enough time dealing with adults on that emotional level. There's NO WAY I could handle the noise and the drama with children. I commend your bravery though.

I have the same problem with authority. Noone listens to me when I ask or tell people what to do when I'm in a managerial position. I use to manage hotels. It's almost like I'm invisible. I guess they don't respect me. My only advice is still don't try to be their friends. Be a hard ass if you have to, but try to know each one of the girls on a one on one personal level. It seems us Aspies do better one on on. When a group of people get together, we become invisible.

I find it funny that your avatar is a smiley bride, yet you don't like girlish behavior.

If it's any consolation, I think EVERYONE finds that age group annoying.
Also, be thankful the girls are wearing perfume. It's probably masking a lot of BO.
Some kids' parents don't seem to notice when it's time for Junior to start wearing deodorant.

You are teaching pre-adolescent girls which is a difficult time for ANY teacher. Prehap, you should only teach the younger children or
Nursery school...but, you would still have the noise factor to consider.

Pre-adolescent girls are changing in so many ways and are often confused and become upset very easy...and they need alot of encouragement, support and understanding. If you find teaching too overwhelming, I would consider a serious career change. I don't think you want to damage the fragile, self esteem that these girls are in the process of developing and creating healthy attitudes toward life in general.

Thats why I don't want to become a teacher. Kids are horrible, they run around screaming, hit each other, and are basically 4 foot tall (bastards) meanies.

If adolescent girls are too much to handle, you can always go back and teach the lower grades where the kids haven't developed any older interests, and their emotions have changed and they are starting to get adult emotions.

My mother liked teaching boys better than gilrs. She said that girls were more complicated, for what it's worth. The two sides of female brains communicate faster back and forth than the two sides of male brains. Maybe that's a part of it