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jazzguy
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08 Nov 2007, 6:29 pm

I just can't do things the way most people seem to be able to do, so I've become a sort of actor. If there's something that needs to be done, I can blank out my mind and take on the role of "man of action, capable of rising to the occassion."
When I have a gig it's easy to take on the role of "professional musician."
Once a week I put on a jazz show in my city. I take on the role of the "with-it producer."
Right now my wife is sick in bed with some sort of stomach virus. I'm very, very bad at caring for or about people, I know that sounds terrible but I've allways been lacking in that area. When people bring their problems to me I find it annoying and intrusive. So now I'm playing the role of the "together, caring husband." I have to blank out my mind and let the role take over.
When I pull these things off I feel quite good about it. A "fooled-them-again" sort of thing, or maybe a feeling of relief that I managed to pull it off at all.
Anyone else have any experiences like this?


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richardbenson
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08 Nov 2007, 6:36 pm

people i act like:
basketball player
gangster
ihsahn

i mostley copy people when they talk though.

wich means yes you guessed it.

im also a parrot



Emoal6
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08 Nov 2007, 7:33 pm

Now that I think about it, until I started playing roles, I never got along with most people. Like it's not that I didnt want to, or I was trying to piss them off(all though I do that now!), they just couldnt understand me I guess.

When I moved from my hometown, I totally changed my way of dealing with people. I decided that because no one knew me, they wouldnt go as far to check what i was saying. I didnt really lie, but i portrayed a cooler person that just got along with people. Didnt let a lot of people fluster him(hard to do!).

As time went on, I started to gain a lil more confidence in the role. I became a lil more of the tough guy, the dont mess with me and we'll be alright. It helps that I work out now so I kinda look like the guy I act and people just allow me to be myself more.

It sucks that I have to play a role with most people but when people show they can be trusted more I let them in on my real life.



beauteousday
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08 Nov 2007, 7:41 pm

I do this all the time. When i was a child i always tried to "act" how other people did. I could never figure out why people had friends and how they got them. I tried multiple times do do what other people did, and sometimes i was successful, sometimes i wasn't.

Currently here are the roles I play.

-Confident woman who has it all together
-Business woman
-quirky life of the party.

when in all actuality i'm a little of each of those with a massive dose of "scared child who doesn't know the difference between her nose and her toes"

It gets hard when the lines between all of them get blurry and i don't know who i really am



pbcoll
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08 Nov 2007, 7:45 pm

My entire life feels like an act.


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krex
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08 Nov 2007, 7:46 pm

The question for me is how do NT's experience this "acting" roles in life.Do they do it,are they aware when they are doing it,how hard is it for them to do.It is hard for me to really understand how much of this is AS or NT because I have little contact with people,so my idea of "normal" is based on mostly books,when the author describes the "internal life" of their charactor(the toughts/feelings behind their actions).Other then that,I am pretty much just assuming that every body is doing this,but to what degree?(All very abstract and confussing).I do know that people act....I use to watch my mom being nice to people who she would later "bad mouth" and I know she acted nicer to me around other people the when we were alone.

I do wonder if AS might make people well suited for the acting profession.I used to win awards in JR High "dramatic reading" and had several parts in school plays.I am good a meloncoly...but not to good at looking "happy"(even when I am happy,lol).


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Adrie
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10 Nov 2007, 3:24 pm

Interesting. I know what you mean.

I am a shy person, but I have performed a LOT in my life: dancing, music, public speaking. People are shocked that I've done so much, but it's because, like you said, I blank out my mind and almost become someone else.

I actually consider myself a pretty good public speaker - I can actually be entertaining if I'm giving out information I find interesting! The problem is being a good speaker in real life, and the give and take of "proper" communication... :?



Liverbird
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10 Nov 2007, 3:57 pm

I don't think that NT's do much acting as far as their real lives go. They just fit into those spaces. We, on the other hand, never fit into those spaces without getting contortionist engineering degrees so it's more of an effort. We also are very aware of how we have trouble fitting with people and so when we have to make so much effort, it feels like we're acting out a role that is beyond us. I think we also tend to fall on this role as actor because we often times just need to remove ourselves from the situation in some way in order for us to not be thrown out of the party, so to speak. If we start thinking about being in the situation too much the jig is up and everyone discovers the truth and then they all point and laugh. Does that make sense?


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quirky
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10 Nov 2007, 4:16 pm

I don't know - to me, NTs spend more time acting. Most of my friends have totally different personalities depending on who they are around, and act completely silly or whatever in an effort to 'fit in.' I only have one personality. I do have to feign interest in relationships and all that stuff, and remind myself to seem interested and say polite things in certain situations, but the rest of the time, I act almost how I want to act, within the realm of politeness. I'm me - there's not the me around hot guys, then the me around smart people, then the me around dumb people, then the me around my parents, then the me at work...I mean sure, I'm a bit sillier with my friends and everything, but there's no radical personality alteration. I feel like they 'act' a lot more.



Dave089
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10 Nov 2007, 4:49 pm

I think all i do is act out in public



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10 Nov 2007, 6:43 pm

jazzguy wrote:
I just can't do things the way most people seem to be able to do, so I've become a sort of actor. If there's something that needs to be done, I can blank out my mind and take on the role of "man of action, capable of rising to the occassion."
When I have a gig it's easy to take on the role of "professional musician."
Once a week I put on a jazz show in my city. I take on the role of the "with-it producer."
Right now my wife is sick in bed with some sort of stomach virus. I'm very, very bad at caring for or about people, I know that sounds terrible but I've allways been lacking in that area. When people bring their problems to me I find it annoying and intrusive. So now I'm playing the role of the "together, caring husband." I have to blank out my mind and let the role take over.
When I pull these things off I feel quite good about it. A "fooled-them-again" sort of thing, or maybe a feeling of relief that I managed to pull it off at all.
Anyone else have any experiences like this?



congratulations, you've learnt the neurotypical art of the facade. people put on different masks for different situations. this is a normal part of being human.



ouinon
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11 Nov 2007, 10:22 am

Yes, i've acted roles, sometimes for days/weeks without stopping. This was very tiring, used up intelligence and energy that might have been useful for other things like really studying, rather than just being at university!!; like working , rather than just having a job; like being intimate with someone, and even enjoying sex, rather than just having a boyfriend/girlfriend and getting through the sex part of it , more or less!
It was my first really close relationship with a woman , fairly soon after reading a rad feminist book, which began to explode my by then reasonably "fluent", almost automatic, roleplaying-behaviour, ( begun in very late teens with help of alcohol) because the book said "the performance of femininity is oppressive", which naturally made lots of sense to me! so i began to de-construct and abandon it!!, and because the relationship with the woman didn't allow me to pretend in the same way as those with men had!!

Unfortunately this process of shedding what had become virtually unthinking , if numbing and numbed-out, behaviours meant that i became aware of how much most of my behaviour was "inauthentic". I went through manic-depressive breakdown, and came out, (after a critical and life-changing moment of insight into compassion, having discovered my own feelings and therefore others') Aspergers.
Which i thought was depression for quite a lot of time. But after looking back, and realising various AS obsessive interests, repeated failures of particular kinds, and the usual AS signs in my life, now genuinely wonder if there is anything about me/my "personality", which is NOT ASD .
When with people , ALL acting/performing.Because that IS what seems to work, to "be" with other people. Acting lots of exciting ( or not !) parts to each other.

I remembered the first few weeks of playing Runescape, ( Massively multi-player online roleplay game) before I understood the rules, before I knew what was "supposed" to do, when I wondered around picking up gold coins and bones and stray arrows and other "drops". It was fascinating, and the world seemed full of mystery. I wandered around exploring, visiting, surprised and entertained , and scared in the wilderness, etc. Was a prolonged suspension of disbelief.
Because of two "accidents", (couldn't speak cos didn't realise had to press "enter" , and didn't understand weapon system), I decided to be a mute, a silent mysterious person, aswell as an unarmed fighter!! This was my character. I was happy. I liked my role. Like AS person before realises is supposed to behave another way ?? But as time passed i discovered about rules, quests, money, skill levels etc and it became more and more a qu of calculations, of what to grind at now to do what quest next etc.