Do People Drop Guilt Trips on You?

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Instead of taking responsibility for their own *hit, do people in your life drop guilt into your laps, wanting to make you feel REALLY bad about youself, shaming you so that they will somehow feel better about themselves? What's that all about anyway? Deja vu thread about scapegoating and its ramifications nothwithstanding - it still sucks and what if you refuse to play the Blame Game?

Short answer. Yes.

Someone did that to the extreme recently, I pointed out something that made the other person mad (wasn't really trying to make that person mad), and that person pretty much savagely attacked with every single mean and rotten thing they could think of about me, for a good 4 hours or so.

Traumatizing to me, though that person then attacked me saying it was stupid I was traumatized by that

absolutley. today my sister is moving into her new house, and guess what? she wants me to move all of her sh-t. this is the same sister that drops her life off at my house every weekend.

thats why im up so early, im contemplating weather or not on disapearing for today so when she comes over she wont be able to find me

nobody in my family takes no seriously

Guilt trips: One of the many tools in the giant toolbox of things humans use to manipulate one another. The scale on which guilt trips are used in modern society is surprisingly vast, far beyond just on the interpersonal level. I see groups, governments, and corporations use guilt trips to push forward their agendas every day. Among the most popular and effective of this is, "It's for the children! Won't someone please think of the children!" I've seen that one used, effectively, to get all manner of crazy things done. And there are many, many more stock varieties; learn them.

Guilt trips do not work on me; in fact they tend to backfire by setting off my manipulation alarms, which makes me extremely difficult to deal with. I do in fact feel guilt when there is cause to do so. But I'm confident enough in what I do and believe and why that my guilt centers are not accessible to external entities, and also not where people expect them to be.

"Piece'a shrapnel tore up that nerve cluster my first tour. Had it moved." - Mal, Serenity

Good fortune,

- Icarus has been on many tours...

people do that to me to and i hate it when it makes me feel bad about myself when i should not.

In my experience, this is one of the most often utilized ways that NTs try to take advantage. It's really fun and satisfying when you eventually take action. For me, this was when I nonchalantly refused to drive my stepbrother to some car parts supplier that was an hour away. I knew he would try to make me feel guilty about making that choice, so I secretly just laughed and resumed whatever I had been doing at the time he asked. He said "That's weak, Flism!". This was after I'd known him for at least 11 years, so I knew exactly what he would say as a response. If he said anything after that, I can't remember, but I know that I didn't let it phase me. That was probably about 15 years before I had discovered AS.

When people use guilt trips to try to get what they want out of me instead of feeling bad, ashamed and complying, I get really pissed off.

If someone wants something, they need to just ask. People who resort to manipulation do it so that you can't say no. I don't like it when others pull that because they are trying to make it seem like you have choices but they are trying to force you to comply.

Short answer: Yes.

One way NTs like to play head games with people.

My mom never understood me before, and knew that, so she got me all kinds of stuff I wanted, and if I asked for nothing she'd get me a bunch of stuff anyway.

They try, I'm immune. Perhaps it's this thing about aspies not considering the feelings of others so if the guilt tripper wants to go and sulk in a corner after finding that it doesn't work that's fine with me.

Ed Almos

My mom occasionally started to use guilt trips to get me into musicals/church choirs/whatever that she was directing. However, as I have a great deal fo respect for her, I still went along with it unless I had a valid reason not to.

The one time I explicity said "ABSOLUTELY NOT" to her was when she tried to get me to wear a plush rhino mask on my head publicly. Other than that one instance, I'm usually agreeable enough that people don't even resort to guilt trips.

Yes. My brother tried to do that today in fact. He's amazing really. He can remember every time I didn't follow through with something, but he doesn't remember why, esepcially when there was a prefctly good explanation (and doubly so if it was his fault). For example, 2 1/2 years ago I didn't drive my mom to the eye doctor after I said I would do the previous week (that much he remembers) because [i]neither he or my mom told me what day her appointment was[i] (that's the part he doesn't remember, and avows isn't true). I'm always wrong, period. I'm a baby, period. I'm a selfish, ungrateful parasite, period. I use my depression as an excuse, period. And I also have ruined his life, apparently just by existing. He cannot be accountable for anything, ever. He's always had his little sister to blame, so why should he?

I'm so tired of this. The good news is, after my mom dies, I never have to talk to him again.