So, a while back, I had an atypical meltdown

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chinapig
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03 Jan 2008, 11:04 am

Basically, I had a huge anxiety attack in school for very little reason. (I was doing past papers in psychology for GCSE, and there was this one big question that I COULD answer, in that I was capable of doing it, but I couldn't because there was some sort of mental barrier there). So I was sat there looking at this paper for about five minutes, feeling a huge amount of strain on me for very little reason. So then, I did the sensible thing, got up and went to get some air, which helped.

No sooner did I get back in the building (I'd gone into the quad) than it hit me again, harder. So I decided "sod this for a laugh, I'm as sick as anyone with a tummy bug here", so I went to the secretary's, got them to ring home, mum picks me up, and takes me up to the psychiatrists.

Now, this wasn't her overreacting, she was going anyway and she thought that seeing as I'm not in school, I might as well come too. But she didn't really explain this to me, so I was very confused. And angry. Still with this anxiety pulling on me.

So I get into the psychiatrist's, and I have a break of some sort. I was staring at the things out of one window, and crying at how beautiful it all was, then looking out of the other window and saying that I didn't like it and that there was evil things there. This lasted for about half an hour, I was getting some pretty bizarre thoughts such as the evil was coming from the cars being locked up in the carpark from the "bad" window, and how cruel it was.

I've never dropped acid, and I didn't have anything abnormal in my system, not even a drop of alcohol. But the way I was feeling, it was like how I've read that some LSD users feel as if they're looking at the world around them as if they were newborn, and everything is fresh. The strange thing is, I was just seeing everything as it was, completely normal. I wasn't psychotic at all, not seeing or hearing things that weren't there.

I snapped out of it gradually (as in it didn't just *end*, it took a couple of minutes to return to a normal state of thinking, but it was a pretty quick, considering it went on for about half an hour), and when I was fine again, I quite simply shook my head and said "right, I'm back" to my psychiatrist.

So, I got hauled through the whole thing. Mania from the prozac? Very rare, but I wasn't manic, really. I didn't believe that I could fly, I was just thinking how wonderful it would be to be able to, and how jealous I was of the birds for being able to fly. Seizure? I had an EEG and examination by a paediatrician, showed nothing abnormal, no epileptiform activity.

Here's the kicker. I got discharged with no diagnosis. Nothing.

I don't really mind, but I thought it'd be a fun puzzle for the more speculative of you to think about! :)

Any ideas?



jjstar
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03 Jan 2008, 11:28 am

Um. What was the question?


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chinapig
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03 Jan 2008, 12:01 pm

What the hell was it that happened to me?

Or, it can be a story.

Or, when aligned the correct way, it can be used as a sundial, but it's quite inaccurate.



poopylungstuffing
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03 Jan 2008, 12:18 pm

I have gone through similar episodes when I was younger.
"cept there were no shrinks involved.
One happend in 4th grade...I was spazzed out-catatonic-hunched over on the floor next to my desk over forgetting my homework..or not understanding the assignment....or somethng....they hauled me into the Principal's office and I was placed back into 3rd grade.

I have had lots of anxiety attacks over little things....

I understand the euphoric spell that you describe too....it has been a while since I have gone through one of those...



jjstar
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03 Jan 2008, 1:23 pm

Could've been a psychotic break which basically means an out of body/mind experience where your soul goes travelling in other realms because you need - a break. It could've been a milder form of lucid dreaming - where you're awake but in a dream state - it could've been disasociation which is a lesser form of psychotic break - you just take a *vacation in the bahamas* for a while - usually triggered by too much, too soon, too little time to process emotion and stimuli. Some instances can be remembered for their imagery like in lucid dreaming and psychotic breaks - they leave impressions on the memory. Disasociation leaves blank space - i.e. little or zero memory recall. - time is lost basically. Regardless - you might want to learn how to reduce stress overloads - so that you don't hit that point again - but rather you teach your brain to process stimuli and ignore whatever doesn't serve your best mental and spiritual health.


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03 Jan 2008, 3:22 pm

jjstar wrote:
Could've been a psychotic break


I agree. It sounds like a psychotic break. How old are you? Does anyone in your family have schizophrenia?



chinapig
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03 Jan 2008, 3:40 pm

I'm 15, it happened once, no family history of mental illness etc.



jjstar
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03 Jan 2008, 4:00 pm

There's a LOT of literature out there about the spiritual/psychotic break connection - and they don't necessarily have to carry the negative connotation. It is what you make of it, really. The main thing, and I think most if not all who've experienced such an occurance will concur that the most signifcant aspect is the insights it provided for them. That seems to be the *lesson* in the experience - and to take that insight further by incorporating it into your life in a safe, enlightening way.


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03 Jan 2008, 4:03 pm

jjstar wrote:
It could've been a milder form of lucid dreaming - where you're awake but in a dream state

That's not what lucid dreaming is. Lucid dreaming is simply normal dreaming, totally asleep, except you recognize that you're dreaming and can usually exert some control over your dream. However, if you have a seizure while dreaming, you may regain consciousness while continuing to dream. But that usually involves hallucinations.


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jjstar
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03 Jan 2008, 4:08 pm

WurdBendur wrote:
jjstar wrote:
It could've been a milder form of lucid dreaming - where you're awake but in a dream state

That's not what lucid dreaming is. Lucid dreaming is simply normal dreaming, totally asleep, except you recognize that you're dreaming and can usually exert some control over your dream. However, if you have a seizure while dreaming, you may regain consciousness while continuing to dream. But that usually involves hallucinations.


"A lucid dream can begin in one of two ways. A dream-initiated lucid dream (DILD) starts as a normal dream, and the dreamer eventually concludes that he or she is dreaming, or a wake-initiated lucid dream (WILD) occurs when the dreamer goes from a normal waking state directly into a dream state with no apparent lapse in consciousness."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucid_dream


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AspieDave
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03 Jan 2008, 4:13 pm

First to admit I'm not a psychiatrist, if I was I'd have MUCH better drugs... but it sounds like a psychotic break to me. A fairly benign one. If you were under a great deal of stress, it's not terribly surprising.


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2ukenkerl
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03 Jan 2008, 7:55 pm

So what is the difference between a "wild", and a daydream?!?!? I mean when I really get into a daydream, it can become as real as a regular dream and I can certainly control it. They are USUALLY pretty tame, but I COULD fight dragons, or fly if I want. They USUALLY develop their own life, but I can change any aspect.

BTW if your daydreams aren't at least like that, how are they?