Trouble believing diagnosis

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I don't know how common this problem is, but I thought I'd ask. Is there anyone else here who sometimes has trouble believing their diagnosis? Maybe it's because I wasn't stereotypical as a child or even now, maybe it's some other reason, but I worry a lot about not really having AS. I was diagnosed as "mild Asperger's" by a psychologist who specializes in AS at the age of 17. My parents accept the diagnosis, including my mother who is a social worker. My boyfriend has AS and he absolutely believes that I do, too. Yesterday he said that "everybody believes you have it except you." When I've talked to the psychologist who diagnosed me about this, she said that my strong need to have a definite category to place myself in was itself a sign of AS. I don't know why I have trouble with this, and I wish I could believe that I do have AS not just some but all of the time. The thought that I don't really have it is terrifying to me, because then there would be no explanation for why I've had certain problems. I'm sometimes afraid I'm really just uniquely crazy or something, not AS. Most of the time I believe I'm aspie, but sometimes when I read or hear about some AS thing which I don't have I start to doubt myself all over again. Has anyone else struggled with this? Any suggestions?

I have the same fear. I don't really have an answer. I haven't been diagnosed. Thinking about things through the lens of AS is a huge help to me as far as keeping my life on track, and if I were to find out that I don't have it, I would worry that perhaps I am bipolar, schizophrenic, or something else terrible instead. Unfortunately, I don't have much comfort. If the AS label gives you comfort, then I say hang onto it. A compromise could be to assume that you have AS, but not to disclose it to anyone. That way you won't have to worry about if you "really" have it or not, as far as others perceiving you as being an aspie or not. You can just use the label to help you in your life.

I first had a problem with the diagnosis at first. What got me through it is the idea that it gives me a sense of uniqueness. From what I read up on Aspergers, only 0.03% of the population actually has it. 1 out of 150 people would have some form of autistic spectrum disorder.

Also, depending on what country your in, you might be able to apply for some form of disability tax credit (every country's tax law is different, but it's true in Canada). So it pays to be an Aspie...

I have kind of the opposite problem. My son's dad won't believe that he is AS. He uses all the old typical arguments that don't mean anything when you are a higher functioning AS person. All you gotta do is see him under extreme stress. As soon as you see him flapping, you'll know.....yep, definitely an autistic moment.

I was diagnosed at age 14 and kinda went into a sort of denial about it since then. Like, I accepted I had it when I was younger, but I'm so 'assimilated' that I would say "I used to have it but don't anymore." It's only recently that I've started to accept it fully and understand that I do still have it very obviously, and it won't just go away, and I am very AS... I'm just good at playing the part of an NT.

I don't generally think that I'm not aspie in social situations. Oftentimes I'm very aware of it. But other times, when I'm by myself or just with my boyfriend or family or something, I feel quite normal, like I couldn't possibly have AS. Now I do logically realize this is fallacious thinking, but I can't help it. My life has been fairly normal for someone with AS, so it's sometimes hard for me to believe.

I don't believe my diagnosis, i always go get checked every year since the day i was originally diagnosed haha. Sometimes i dont think im autistic, and some days i think im very severe. Theres times where you can literally not tell im autistic, i can be somewhat nt for like 2 -3hours at the most, but after that, my autism kicks in haha. Then theres day, you would think i was Low functioning. Depends on the amount of sleep ive gotten, if i ate, and how my day is going.

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Being Normal Is Vastly Overrated

I went through the same thing for while this year. I didn't believe I had it because I was stereotypical and wasn't aspie enough. I thought maybe I am just crazy and I thought the reason why I am the way I am is because I was deaf so it made me literal and delayed and I was in special ed when I was 6 and seven so it messed my mind up because then it made it hard for me to figure out what the rules were because kids in my class all had different rules. Reason why I had troubles fitting in was because kids my age didn't have things in common with me, they all wanted to chit chat and I wanted to play. Reason why I don't notice body language or pick up on social cues or what feeling are feeling is because I am in my own world and if I would pay attention then maybe I would read them. If I wasn't so shy, I'd be doing eye contact and be talking to anyone. I would have had a boyfriend in high school if I wasn't so shy because I would have been approaching boys in my school. If I wasn't deaf, maybe I wouldn't be socially ret*d because then my mind would have kept on developing normally so I would have known right from wrong what to say. Reason why I don't have lot of friends is because they are usually boring and I am not interested in having them. Why have friends if I have my family and boyfriend? Sure I don't mind having travel partners or going out with someone.
I tried telling this to my shrink and she still said I have AS. I told her the stereotypes I don't have and she said it was all bullcrap because you don't need to have those to have the label. All this stuff I tried pointing out to her she said deafness does not effect that part of your brain so I would have still be the way I am.
My last shrink believed I had it and so did my school counselor and he underestimated me. My speech therapist suggested to my mother in 5th grade that I might have it and my first shrink suggested it too. But the doctor I went to, she said I didn't have it when my parents asked her to test me when I was 10 so she did and said I didn't have it.


But do I really have AS? At one of my doctor appointment's in Montana I read in the file they have on me that I have been diagnosed as having AS even though I don't quite meet the criteria but my mother says I do meet it and then she says I slip on and off of it, sometimes I do sometimes I don't. WTF? It says I don't quite meet it ad then my mother says the other thing?
Maybe not quite meeting the criteria meant I had a speech delay and I was developmental delayed so it made me not meet it but because of my hearing loss, it was given to me. I think it was also to give my parents the power to stop my school from putting me in a class with violent kids. PDD-NOS isn't a real diagnoses so it might not have stopped them.
I don't know any doctors except one I had in the passed who didn't think I had it. But I am on the spectrum so I don't think it matters what label I have. Those who say I am not AS, I say "Does it matter what label I have."

I hear dx's, nod my head, smile wanely and completely disregard everything I just heard 2 minutes later. In one ear, out the other, I give them their smug satisfaction of *great know its all* but in the end, essentially I am the Boss (capital B) of my own body and psyche and dx's are just words formulated by clueless people dressed in white garments who know ZILCH about how the human mind/brain works and aren't even close to catching up. Unfortunately, I still rely on their pharmaceuticals now and than in lieu of anything else. That too will change. Sooner than later and then - I will be freeeeeeeeeeee!.

Its hard to believe such a diagnosis when you cycle between High Functioning and Not-So-High Functioning. And even harder to believe when you read or hear about stuff that people with AS usually struggle with that you do not. I didn't struggle with driving, for example. I passed the driving test on my first try and got my license at 16. I have future plans that involve moving out, so I am trying to stay reasonably high functioning and occasionally self-improving.

No one has 100% of the aspie traits; plus, not all the traits are accurately described either. Being young makes believing an AS diagnosis difficult. The older a person is, the easier it is to know.

I think that it doesn't help that our symptoms can vary day to day - sometimes, I'll go weeks without a sensory issue, and I'll start wondering if I just made myself think it existed. Then I'll hit something that sets me off, and BANG! Oh yeah, I have those. Just rarely. If your place on the spectrum means your symptoms vary, or don't affect you but sometimes, I think it's easier to start doubting. Also, those of us who atypically present (typically women, on the social front, although not exclusively) can feel a little bit out of place also, I think. I've reconciled myself with the fact that I do have AS, or a form of PDD-NOS, and that most of it is milder than most of those here. That's OK - we're all different. In the end I think what matters to me is learning about myself and how I think, and whatever label fits matters less than how useful the skills I'm learning from my reading about AS are.