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sonny1471
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12 Dec 2007, 2:54 pm

I know the topic wasn't super clear, but how many people here use another person in their life as a "gateway" into the world? For example, I use my partner as a gateway to social events, friends, conversations, etc. If he wasn't around, I'd be sitting at home doing nothing social at all. When he goes out of town for business, I don't go anywhere (besides absolute necessities), or really interact with anyone.

I pointed this out to him a few weeks ago and, though he never thought about it before, he absolutely agreed that I use him in that way.

Is this the same for others? It could be a friend, parent, husband/wife, partner, etc.



Margrethe
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12 Dec 2007, 2:57 pm

I think I use my husband as a gateway. He's currently studying in another country, and I've been home a lot. I still go to uni and to the paper where I work as a photographer, but that is a necessity...



Aspie1
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12 Dec 2007, 3:18 pm

My current group of friends is pretty much my gateway into the social world. The fast majority of the fun stories I've shared here happened because my friends helped me at least a little bit, such as convincing me to come to a certain place, and I'm very thankful for all that. If it wasn't for them, I'd be sitting at home watching TV most of the time. It used to be like that before I made some friends, so my friends are very important to me.



srriv345
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12 Dec 2007, 3:21 pm

Yes, I have absolutely done this in the past. Unfortunately my gateway friend is studying abroad all year this year, and it's been hard.



jjstar
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12 Dec 2007, 3:27 pm

no one. just wanted to say - wayy cute dog.



sonny1471 wrote:
I know the topic wasn't super clear, but how many people here use another person in their life as a "gateway" into the world? For example, I use my partner as a gateway to social events, friends, conversations, etc. If he wasn't around, I'd be sitting at home doing nothing social at all. When he goes out of town for business, I don't go anywhere (besides absolute necessities), or really interact with anyone.

I pointed this out to him a few weeks ago and, though he never thought about it before, he absolutely agreed that I use him in that way.

Is this the same for others? It could be a friend, parent, husband/wife, partner, etc.


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sonny1471
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12 Dec 2007, 4:16 pm

Glad to see that, so far, I'm not the only one that did/does this. I feel bad about it sometimes but as long as he's aware of his role, I don't know that it matters.

jjstar - thanks, that's my sofie. She's who I hang out with when my partner is gone. :)



jjstar
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12 Dec 2007, 4:19 pm

sonny1471 wrote:
Glad to see that, so far, I'm not the only one that did/does this. I feel bad about it sometimes but as long as he's aware of his role, I don't know that it matters.

jjstar - thanks, that's my sofie. She's who I hang out with when my partner is gone. :)


:) very special.


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Speedy
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13 Dec 2007, 2:33 am

Gateway friend and I are going out tonight, as a matter of fact. I would not go to half the things I do without her around.


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Adrie
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13 Dec 2007, 11:31 am

That's true, I do have a gateway friend and without her, I'd have very little to do and very few people to see...



Danielismyname
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13 Dec 2007, 11:36 am

My mother.

When I see professionals, I look at those I speak to through her (yes, I look at my mother if she is there with me). I also follow her around when she goes to places (I don't interact with people, but I'm still out there amongst them).

She talks for me too (as she's the only person who knows me well enough to do such around here), which is cool; she's like my...interplanetary interpreter.



Carbonhalo
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13 Dec 2007, 6:05 pm

Absolutely.

It appears that i've always considered gateway potential when searching for a partner. Someone to fill in the socialisation gaps, or function as a bridge between myself and the world.
Unfortunately, this usually results in my selecting a partner way too loud and energetic for a comfortable 1 on 1 relationship.

I suspect my current partner is undiagnosed ADHD... but we seem to balance.



CeriseLy
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13 Dec 2007, 6:43 pm

I'm very ruthless and analytical about who I want to be with and yes, I like uber smooth although I am uber clunky. I just get a lot of joy from people who are super socially adept. Treading water NTs don't do it for me at all. I don't appreciate their "kind" small talk.



richardbenson
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13 Dec 2007, 8:56 pm

well i dont know about people gateways but you never want to mess with paranormal gateways like dowsing rods and ouija boards uhuh oh no. unless you want to deal with some hardup gangster who takes no mercy!! :D



Pandora
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14 Dec 2007, 6:03 am

Danielismyname wrote:
My mother.

When I see professionals, I look at those I speak to through her (yes, I look at my mother if she is there with me). I also follow her around when she goes to places (I don't interact with people, but I'm still out there amongst them).

She talks for me too (as she's the only person who knows me well enough to do such around here), which is cool; she's like my...interplanetary interpreter.
Mum used to be my gateway: it probably wasn't the fairest situation and I wish I could have been more able to help her with things.


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Chronicle
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14 Dec 2007, 6:26 am

I've got one of them- my best friend. Though it's not so much that I "use" her as a gateway- she has a tendency to drag me, kicking and screaming, into situations I would never put myself into intentionally.

Part of it is because she knows it's good for me to expand my world. Part of it is because she wants me to really be a part of her life. And part of it is because she's a freaking sadist. :P

[Edited because I'm less obsesed with grammar at ~4 AM than I am now.]



Last edited by Chronicle on 14 Dec 2007, 1:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Brittany2907
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14 Dec 2007, 6:48 am

I don't currently have anyone I "use" as a gateway to social interactions.

However, I used to have a friend who would invite me out to social events with her friends. I never used to interact with the other people, but just being around them gave me the feeling of having a decent social life.

Unfortunately, once we arrived at the social event, she would usually walk away from me and leave me standing somewhere confused. Eventually, I stopped going out with her and the "friendship" slowly subsided.


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