Aspergers and Popularity in childhood and adolescence.

Post Reply New Topic

i am interested to know if any AS people have experienced popularity in childhood because of qualities such as leadership/social justice views, integrity and individualised ways of being and thinking?
Have any people with AS had it relayed back to them that they were popular (ie by siblings or a teacher or a parent) in spite of their differences to most other kids?

if not popular, have you been told you were "respected?"

this may tie in with personality type and whether one is extroverted or introverted?
or perhaps tie in with how others perceived you in terms of academic performance?

anyone able to share their experiences here?

I was pretty much the opposite of popular in school. I was the shy, weird kid that nobody else talked to. I was also considered nerdy because I performed well academically and actually cared about my grades, unlike some of my peers.

Although I have always been loud and outgoing (fairly extroverted), I was the least popular (literally) person in Primary School, and always near the bottom of the list even right up till the end of High School.

However, I did used to spend a lot of time at school reading as opposed to conversing because it was much more pleasant than being tormented by the other kids.

Me too, hester, me too.

I was never the "in" part of school. Kids back then would harass me often. My friends were all outcasts like me, and I was sort of the leader of my outcast group, because the friends were all connected through me, so it made sense (also, my house was the only house we could gather at on a regular basis). Not to brag, but I was the best at any activity we did as a group (I was obsessed with those activities and did them by myself often), so in that sense I must have had respect for my ability, but I had no overall respect in school.

Unpopular and made fun of . . . a lot; that is, until I learned the art of making fun of things and people (well, I still was just not as badly). Unfortunately, I tend to take it too far without realizing it on a very regular basis.

Grades preK-1 I acted like a seriously disturbed child... I think the teachers were afraid of me, but the children for the most part stayed away from me. Grades 2-4 the teachers liked me because I was considered smart, and the kids didn't especially like or dislike me. Starting in grade 5 the kids turned on me and I was viciously bullied for years. Definitely the polar opposite of popular.

It was all to horrible to describe in words so I basically quit going to school around the middle of the 7th grade and became a runaway.

Eh, I was the continual screw up who could write an essay on command for others, but would not turn in work. I also hated cheaters with a passion, and figured they'd all end up getting their dues in the "real world" anyway. How wrong I was, lol. And yes, I'm a hypocrite, or something.

In school, I felt pretty lonely most of the time. Even the nerds had each other, I was not a nerd... Pity me.

It wasn't until my sophmore year that I actually had a group of friends, with similar intrests and everything.

Respect was a funny thing. Some of my closer friends knew I was pretty smart, however it seemed that I was always the butt of a joke, the object of a prank, continually teased and made fun of. I could never understand it. Never reacted, and they always would joke about that too...

I was never really popular, but the nerdy groups at the schools I've been to have always accepted my own personality and I have friends I enjoy talking too.

Occasionally I was teased in middle school because I got very poor grades and pretty much everyone knew, but I didn't let it get to me. The real problems I had in grades K-8 were just ADD lack of focus, and also sensory problems, but fortunately at my high school there are windows in every room and I can eat lunch by myself (or with a few friends) away from the cafeteria.

I was respected for being an individual, not wanting to smoke (not giving in to peer pressure), knowing things others didn't and my artistic skills.
I remember my eldest sister saying to someone 'Shanti doesn't do that, she's a good girl.' I think it was when I refused to drink wine.

I seemed popular in high school but I didn't get a whole lot of attention, lot of people in my high school knew who I was and so did the little kids from middle school and elementary school. It was obvious people talked about me behind my back or how else would they know about me?
It was a small town so everyone is popular.

In 4th grade, most people hated me and up until 6th grade I only had one friend. Middle school was much easier, less people made fun of me, and I wasn't hated. I was just ignored.

In high school I gained friends I have two very close friends and people that I talk to, but everybody is nice to me and I don't think anbody hates me.

I'm not very outgoing, but whatever I am doing socially, it seems to be working out okay.

_________________
(I'm a Girl... )

"The person who knows everything has a lot to learn."

"Dubito, ergo cogito, ergo sum" (I doubt, therefore I think, therefore I am) René Descartes

I was popular in elementary school, but I had an advantage - I was the son of the theacher.

interesting to hear there are some exceptions to the general rule.

i want to know if there are exceptions to the basic premise that all Aspergers kids are unpopular and picked on.

i was odd, strange, serious and philosophical and popular at my Catholic primary school. I also came from a very prominent catholic family which was revered in the Catholic intellectual scene in australia. My father was quie famous and my family was quite famous back then in the Catholic scene. and it was a bit like "roll out the red carpet...her comes ANOTHER superkid from THAT family." my dad's hymns were performed at every catholic ritual and we were tagged as a brilliant bunch. i personally cannot remember ANY major firendhsip or major attachment to other kids in primary school. although i often had "one" female freind at a time, who I always perceived to know more about the social world than i did.

I had a couple of very popular big sisters who had gone through the system before me and were at the same school and i also won most of the academic and art prizes in primary school. And, i have Apsergers.

i suppose i am trying to work out to what extent this background gave me a kind of kudos. Certainly, looking back, the whole shabang fell apart abysmally when I changed from a catholic school to a government school in high school. the bullying really began, but i was eventually in a loose group of sorts, because of my art skills and my individualism and my drug taking - which was the bond between me and others, and i used it as such. rather tragic really. my main friends were boys, and the girls - well - that just seemed like even more of a minefield. Bullying from the other kids was frequent - the in-crowd people - where glamour,looks, wealth and status were the key - were partiuclarly ruthless with me. i was called names and told that i was a weirdo, frigid, a boy in girl's clothes, a nutter, etc etc.

so, i am particularly interested to hear of the last poster's experience where he had an advantage in a similar way.

I was never popular, however I was kind of respected. I was the "nice" quiet person who would help you out if you asked. That got me protection in High School, I was one of the few people who could go anywhere without people bugging me. But that is about it. I never had too many friends at a time (as in, I can count them on one hand easily) and of them, only one or two at a time (with friends coming and going... with some going to homeschool or to the private school) were ever "good" friends. None ever actually new me very well and I rarely hung out with anyone after school (I could count on my hands the number of times I did) I found it nearly impossible in highschool to make new friends, but everyone new me and no one messed with me.

It was not that bad, but I am happy it is over.