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Michhsta
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18 Jan 2010, 1:20 am

Anyone know much about ADHD(inattentive type)?

Aspergers........?

ADHD........?

Going for psychometric testing.

So, so very tired of all this crap. Just want to blow bubbles and read about black holes.......and bugger the lot of everything.

Mics


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Callista
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18 Jan 2010, 1:24 am

Ehh... it's not like a label changes who you are. You might be able to learn a bit more about yourself, solve some of your problems more easily. But other than that, there's no real reason it has to change your life very much. It helps to know how you learn, so you can learn better; but that's about it.

It would kind of help if you had specific questions, though. ADHD-I and Asperger's are both very broad topics.

BTW, I used to have a fascination with black holes, myself! Actually, I'm still interested in them; it's just that other topics have gotten more interesting since I was a teen. Fascinating, aren't they? Have you read Hawking's stuff yet? He's really good at making physics understandable even if you're only in high school (which is how old I was when I read his books).


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Michhsta
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18 Jan 2010, 4:30 am

Callista wrote:
Ehh... it's not like a label changes who you are. You might be able to learn a bit more about yourself, solve some of your problems more easily. But other than that, there's no real reason it has to change your life very much. It helps to know how you learn, so you can learn better; but that's about it.

It would kind of help if you had specific questions, though. ADHD-I and Asperger's are both very broad topics.

BTW, I used to have a fascination with black holes, myself! Actually, I'm still interested in them; it's just that other topics have gotten more interesting since I was a teen. Fascinating, aren't they? Have you read Hawking's stuff yet? He's really good at making physics understandable even if you're only in high school (which is how old I was when I read his books).


Nope, doesn't change who I am......but sure makes things easier with direction, treatment and the ultimate goal......personal success. At 36, I have many life lessons. One of them, is don't give up without a fight. I have lived with 16 years of mental illness dx only to discover it may not be the only thing I was dealing with. If fact it probably made things more convoluted and misdirected. I just need help at Uni when I go back......need a bit of paper for that. My shrinks are on to it.....they are good people.

Black holes.......still trying to understand the science, with dark matter and gravity and relativity and all that wonderful stuff......Have only read excerpts of Stephen Hawking but when I get the physics under my belt, I shall read one of his books. Just getting into the work of Carl Sagan at the moment......

Thanks for your reply........the answer will come......just tired, is all. I been battling for a long time.

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WorldsEdge
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18 Jan 2010, 6:27 am

Michhsta wrote:
Anyone know much about ADHD(inattentive type)?


It is my current diagnosis, actually, though I can't claim any particular expertise on the topic.

There's a sub-sub-forum at ADDForums (link) specifically on ADHD-PI, that you might want to check out, there's some very knowledgeable folks who post there fairly regularly. Unfortunately, only registered members are allowed to read that particular part of the site, so you'd have to sign up over there first.


Quote:
Aspergers........?

ADHD........?


Not really sure what you're asking here, but one of the oddest things about this whole topic is the whole business of classification.

I've read one academic paper claiming that ADHD-PI is actually an entirely separate disorder from ADHD, and really shouldn't be in the same category with regular ADHD at all. Ironically, I meant to bookmark it, but forgot to b/c, well, I wasn't really paying attention, and my mind was wandering since a lot of the article went way over my head...ADHD-PI strikes again. :P I think it was written by researchers at either the University of Utah or UNLV, will come back and edit this post if I can find it. This view is disputed by others, to put it mildly. It certainly isn't one that any clinician in practice I've seen supports. (And I've asked.)

=====

Edit: This isn't the article I was thinking of, but it covers a lot of the same territory:

Neurocognitive Functioning in AD/HD, Predominantly Inattentive and Combined Subtypes (linky)


====

And then you've got the folks who argue that ADHD, Aspergers and autism might all be the same disorder, just either manifesting different characteristics or falling at different points on the same spectrum. A book making this claim, or at least that much more research in this area is needed, is The ADHD-Autism Connection: A Step Toward More Accurate Diagnosis and Effective Treatments. The author theorized that ADHD and autism/Aspergers are each considered the "turf" of different groups, groups that don't talk to each other enough and come at the topic from different perspectives.

Personally, I do think ADHD and ASD are somehow related, but are different enough that separate categories are warranted. And I also think it is reasonable to include ADHD-PI in with ADHD. I also think a cross-diagnosis or being diagnosed as both is reasonable...But there're others who think differently and seem to be able to make a reasonable, if not exactly compelling, case for their position.


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18 Jan 2010, 7:16 am

I am officially diagnosed with Inattentive type ADD and major depressive disorder. I've never been assessed for an ASD but I have always shared the characteristics. That being said, whether the ADD-I is part of an ASD or stands alone it causes major problems for me. I wasn't diagnosed until middle age. I need some kind of treatment or someone to help me get a workable system for me. I am like you Michhsta, all I want to do is sit and think about stuff.


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Jingo8
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18 Jan 2010, 9:35 am

I see a theme here, also ADHD-PI diagnosed and i just want to sit and think about stuff, but the stuff *I* want to think about.

I see the ADHD-PI part of my diagnosis as a positive thing as it wasn't on the topic list to discuss and i've always said things like I'm hugely motivation driven to explain why sometimes i do great work and othertimes it sucks, sometimes i work til 9pm every night and others i'm away exactly on time.
It appears now it's more about the type of work i'm doing and how easy i find it to focus and pay attention to it.
It also explains why there's so much i put off and why i struggle to prioritise my work based on urgency and assign suitable amounts of time based on importance. Too much of the time i'm basing it on what i want and feel able to do and put off the rest.



elderwanda
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18 Jan 2010, 3:30 pm

Michhsta wrote:
Anyone know much about ADHD(inattentive type)?

Aspergers........?

ADHD........?

Going for psychometric testing.

So, so very tired of all this crap. Just want to blow bubbles and read about black holes.......and bugger the lot of everything.

Mics



I often wonder about this myself. If I look a diagnostic criteria, or any list of ADHD(inattentive type) symptoms, I have every single one without question. Except, I have no memory of being particularly flaky as a child. Maybe I was, but I did well in school until about 8th grade. (but in those days, school didn't require so much homework or group work as it seems to now.)

If I look at AS diagnostic criteria, my answers are mostly, "Well, er, I'm not sure. Kind of, sort of. Er, I feel like I do that, but no one has ever commented on it.... "

That alone would tend to make me think that my issue is ADHD-I and not AS.

However, when I come here, I really feel like I relate to the people on the spectrum. I don't feel like an alien here.

On the other hand, I went to an adult ADHD-I forum, and spent a little time reading posts. I related to specific situations, like when people talked about not being able to multi-task, or forgetting that there was something in the oven. But overall, I didn't feel like I was one of them. They seemed like nice enough people, but like they were driven by something that I can never understand. That's my experience with people in real life, for the most part. After much reflection and reading about stuff, the best way I can describe it is that they seem to have an innate understanding of their individual place in the world, and how to navigate through their days and lives. They seem to be able to naturally connect with other people to get things done. As flaky as they may be, with their ADHD-I, there's something that they seem to have which I don't feel like I have. I'm not sure what it is exactly. I just know that if I come here instead, people make more sense to me, and I don't feel like an alien.

Which of course, contradicts what I find when I try to check off diagnostic criteria.

And if I don't know myself well enough to be able to figure things out, how will I be able to accurately show who I am to a professional, who knows nothing about me? A professional would give me whatever label they see in me, but surely if I can't see the whole picture of who I am, then they can't either.

Anyway, that's just me going on about me. Hopefully there's something in here that can be meaningful for someone.

I hope you find what you are looking for.



alana
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18 Jan 2010, 4:05 pm

Michhsta wrote:

So, so very tired of all this crap. Just want to blow bubbles and read about black holes.......and bugger the lot of everything.

Mics


I love this quote. I have been thinking about black holes all morning. I know that people with autism/aspergers can present with the seeming attention deficit but that is only one part of a very big picture, probably it's the symptom that other people notice because they find it annoying. And then there are people in whom the two are comorbid.



Michhsta
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18 Jan 2010, 5:45 pm

Thankyou so much everyone for your insightful replies.......wonderful.

My blanket philosophy on dx is that it is only as worthwhile as what your prepared to do with it.

The reason that my psych wants to clarify, is due to treatment. If it is ADHD-I(or whatever those letters are.....sorry :?) then meds may be an option. If it is AS, well no meds. I say, I do not want to go down that path until all avenues have been explored. I have been medicated for one reason or another on and off for the past 17 years. I also have physical health issues.

Things I know for sure that may or may not be related to anything:

I have AS and severe autism in my family
I taught myself to read at the age of 3 or 4 (my dad told me that)
I cannot remember much under the age of 17
I have taken a lot of illicit substances
I have an above average IQ
I am confused/discordant/frightened most of the time
I am misanthropic
I am cynical/pessimistic/realistic
People are strange/irregular/illogical
I am exhausted when having to concentrate/focus on things that I do not want to concentrate/focus on.
I had a nasty childhood

I am 36 years old. There are many years of behavior to sort through. I do not know who I am and the parts I can remember of my past, does not feel like my own. My self-esteem has systematically eroded. I always thought I was stupid/ lazy/demotivated/ unreliable/ flaky/highly strung/narcissistic/angry........when that is not true. But old habits are hard to break. One needs answers sometimes to break the habits of the past. In other words, direction.......the right path. It is all very well going to therapy for the rest of my life, only to find that nothing works because the wrong techniques are being utilised.

My shrinks are good people. I have never not trusted them. And lets face it, if they can help me lead a more productive life, great.

I have always secretly loved my mind, it is the years of ostracisation/mental illness/drugs that has taken its toll. Despite my need for a solitary and quiet existence, there are people that I love deeply....and they love me deeply back. And despite my misanthropy, I do concede that there are some wonderful people out there. Just because I have not met them in my travels as such, does not mean they do not exist.

I cannot explain how I feel. Never have been able to. I know like my emotions are bubbling away with the anticipation of them coming into the light and provide the listener with some clarity, but I am consistently disappointed. They remain submerged, on the periphery of my understanding, a sunken ship. The energy it takes to explain myself in this manner in an hour therapy session, or explanation when someone asks me how I am feeling, makes me want to have a panic attack, such is the level of frustration and fear at being misunderstood and trying to find the right words. The bottomless feeling of not having a bloody clue of what I am actually made of. I am frightened that if I cannot convey what is happening inside, then people cannot help me and I remain stuck like a prisoner in my own mind. I become angry at myself for my deficits and enraged at the person who put me in that position.

The alternative.......do nothing.

But my mind does not rest. I am my own science experiment with my life filled with controls and participants.

I am intelligent enough and old enough to know that I am "different", outside, missing. It is when I watch other people that I want to understand what it is that they feel and why they look so much more relaxed than I do in certain situations. That their interactions are the graceful dance of human emotion, when I struggle to push out any cohesive sentence about feelings. In saying this, I was pushed by forces beyond my understanding 2 years ago to face myself in an extremely confrontational and agonising way. I spent a period of intense hibernation with self, to morph into a hesitant participant in Spring, to loving myself a bit. And I will continue to do so with little emphasis on dx........however in order to love myself, I must feel self- worth.......and for me the worth comes from using this amazing, complicated brain that is exhilarating. Just my personal mission.

There is much I cannot say.......there is much I want to say but don't know how and I have little faith that I have even scratched the surface of what I am feeling. I can only get so far cognitively, a learnt skill.....before powers much stronger than cognition create a black hole, an invisible field, an velvety blackness in my mind that I cannot penetrate. It is intensely frustrating when I can explain the principles of photosynthesis with the zeal of a preacher, only to find my mind seizes at explaining my humanity.

Thank you for listening.

Mics


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Jingo8
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18 Jan 2010, 6:46 pm

Interesting read :)

Just to pick two points out

I also grew up being told i was lazy, awkward, difficult, selfish, wasting my ability, not appreciating the things my parents do for me, throwing away my education etc etc. I don't blame my parents, they got a lot of things wrong, but they are who they are and they tried their best.
Superficially i now know I am not lazy, but inside? It will take some getting used to, i just got used to admiting it and started to say it myself, now i find myself describing myself as lazy to others when trying to explain something.

Also i would happily agree that explaining the principles of photosynthesis is quite a simple straight forward task vs telling someone who i am or what i feel or think. Don't feel alone on that one.



Michhsta
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18 Jan 2010, 7:09 pm

Jingo8 wrote:
Interesting read :)

Just to pick two points out

I also grew up being told i was lazy, awkward, difficult, selfish, wasting my ability, not appreciating the things my parents do for me, throwing away my education etc etc. I don't blame my parents, they got a lot of things wrong, but they are who they are and they tried their best.
Superficially i now know I am not lazy, but inside? It will take some getting used to, i just got used to admiting it and started to say it myself, now i find myself describing myself as lazy to others when trying to explain something.

Also i would happily agree that explaining the principles of photosynthesis is quite a simple straight forward task vs telling someone who i am or what i feel or think. Don't feel alone on that one.


Thank you.......for your support on this one 8)

Mics


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