Reconciled with any bullies ?

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I must admit when I left school (a long time ago) I never expected or indeed wanted to encounter again any of those people who made my life hell with their mental cruelty.
As it happened,more than 10 years after I left school I had chance encounters with 2 of those bullies on separate occasions.This time they were like different people from their schooldays,friendly and civilised.One of them even encouraged me on a new job
I was applying for,saying I was certainly good enough for it.
I'm left with the impression that maybe some of the bullies at school join in on the taunting simply because of peer pressure.Once they become adults they might even
look back in shame at the way they behaved as children.
I wondered if anyone else has bumped into their former bullies in a different
setting ?

Except for one, no. He seemed OK, but I had never forgotten the abuse I endured at his hands, so I just didn't say anything much.

nope and I still hate them to this very day...I had to deal with them for YEARS and I just got out of it a month ago

Alot of people that picked on me in school live close to where I live. So I see them around alot, but I NEVER talk to them. I assumed for the longest time that they had forgotten abot me, as when I was in elementry school I was a ghost. I was ivisable to everyone their. But a few weeks ago I was walking down the street when I saw the most popular kid in my grad walking towards me. I was so nervous as this kid had never even treated me like a human. I was nobody to him.... Anyway as he passed me he smiled and said "Hi, Cecil, How have you been doing. I hope you are doing great." The weird part is I think he really meant it.
Some people grow up. Sometimes it's even the people we least expect.

ive seen a few eather in walmart, or the bar, said very little too them, i know they made my life rough for a while, but i still miss those days ironicly... wish i could relive them, heh

I think about two thirds of them. Bullying is all too often a symptom of immaturity

have seen a few bullies,have never forgotton what each of them did to am,but don't hate them like used to,they bullied am because am was non verbal and unable to speak back,they were nasty people,but on their own would not do anything to am.
most of the ones have seen since,have come up to am and said hello,they now have little children with them so they cannot be bad anymore if the social services have not taken their children away yet?

one of them is still nasty,she used to get her older sister to bully am because she could not do it herself,she set off a meltdown once,and got injured-she told her sister am had been bullying her,who then started bullying am,and her mum put a formal complaint in.

have been on a bus with am support staff this year,sat at the front,when she got on it and sat opposite with a friend-she saw am sat with the staff,and said to her friend that she used to know and hated am from school,she then started to shout that she has just got a new top job,and was getting married next year,it hurt ears.
everytime she sees am when out,she gets anyone she's with to force eye contact with am,and tries it herself as she knows this is a problem.
for a twenty three year old,she acts more like a toddler.

I see my former bully every once in a while in the school hallways, we never say anything to eachother. But I swear on my mother's grave if he said anything negative to me again I would not hesitate to shoot him on the spot.

Especially where they aren't the ringleaders but are just joining in because they think it's cool or because they don't want to be bullied themselves. That doesn't make it any less hurtful though but does leave hope that at least some of them will come to their senses and act more nicely when they grow up.

There is one girl in particular who used to talk about me behind my back. What made it worse was that she was a grade lower than me at the time. She was the popular, cheerleader, bitchy type.

Then I found out that she was recently Dxd as being bipolar. It explains a lot of her behavior and I don't hold nearly as much contempt for her.

How appropriate. Just yesterday, my phone rang. It was someone from my high school class inviting me to a 40th reunion celebration. (It was an all boys, Catholic prep school and I was bullied every day).

I informed him that they had been the worst four years of my life, without going into detail.

He said, "No way!" I responded with an emphatic "Way!"

He then said, "maybe we can turn that around."

I said "I doubt it. Have a great time."

He politely ended the call.

I only vaguely remember his name. He was not one of the bullies. But in a school with only about 500 kids total, I'm certain that he knew me at the time and knew what I was going through.

He was not one of the two kids who ever tried to be friendly with me, so, as far as I'm concerned, he was part of the problem.

no way man. they can all eat my shorts

Some of the people that bullied me in Primary school were quite friendly at high school. I guess people just grow up. The female bullies, anyway.

Since it was mostly adults that bullied me and I'm old I would guess most of them are in a nursing home or dead.

Mostly, I do not care and I incite no one. However, I have recently been bullied by one in a professional capacity who was the sole conduit between myself and a supervisor - so, I do care. The bully, who was blatantly discriminatory due to ignorance of my difference, was left unchecked and therefore her abusive behavior accelerated. She was essentially allowed permission to behave operating through her bias. Plus, she was compelled to inform others of my difference, which just spread the misinformation. Discriminatory behavior is contagious and tends to snowball. I guess the 'leader' thought ignoring the matter would make it magically disappear. No.

But, I never confronted her or anyone because I did not want to be treated like a pariah. Consequently, I was blamed for what I am not with virtually no recourse. The bully always wins. But, I have integrity, which they do not. For example, when I asked/offered to perform a certain lab function, she actually said (quote), "No, you might become catatonic." This was in reference to my enhanced sensory modality. Just one of many instances.....BTW, she admittedly has not had so much as a course in psychology or any neurological knowledge whatsoever. Sheer ignorance and arrogance - at least.

Neurotypicals have a need to exert their superficial hierarchy with no regard for another. I am uncertain how to respond to such flagrant dumbness, for lack of a better word.

hey, S.o G.reat S.omeone, are you listening? I suspect so......and I know.

So, I have no advice - confront? Probably not, just inflames the NT who simply does not know better. BEYOND THEIR LIMITED CAPACITY.

Reconcile with a bully?????????

I will NEVER forgive any of those who bullied me. It would take an expression of GENUINE REMORSE and ATONEMENT to warrant my forgiveness - and I don't imagine that I will EVER receive that! And even if one former bully did, I would still not 'reconcile', no matter how much they had changed - because even if they deserved my forgiveness, I would still NEVER FORGET.