How I avoided being fired for AS

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Well, I may be fired in the end, but I'm being given a second chance.

I just want as many Aspies as possible to know my story, because I think it may be useful. Mostly to Aspies who, like me, live in a country where AS is not only legal to discriminate against, but also unheard of.

Two months ago I got the news from a most reliable source that my boss was head hunting to replace me. I told him what I'd heard, he denied it of course.

It took me a lot of time and courage but, having been fired so many times, I figured I had nothing to lose. And I just couldn't bear the thought of leaving a company and job I adore and have given my life to. So I went to HR and told them that I'm terrible at understanding what my boss wants from me when it's not verbalized. I didn't mention any disorder names, didn't hint at a brain disorder (I probably would've been sacked on the spot if I had). I asked for help and said I'm willing to try ANYTHING that is in my power to try in order to keep my job. I emphasized how hard I've worked and how much I love the comnpany and the job. I said I'm very open to criticism about how I'm conducting myself. They promised to try and convince my boss to give me a second chance.

Ever since, my boss has been telling me verbally what he doesn't like in my behavior and we're really-really trying to make it work. It's funny, painful, frustrating and embarrassing to be told these things, like I'm sitting in a way that is not how everyone else is sitting and I'm giving the wrong impression to the group and stuff like that. But when I said I was willing to do ANYTHING, I wasn't lying.

Good to hear that. Good luck now!

I would have went in there and told them flat out I had AS and if I'm fired for having a disablity you will have a lawsuit on your hands so fast i'll be the new owner.

EDIT: sorry I did not see you were from outside the US. My bad.

Of course I can't overcome my symptoms by observing what my boss says. What I'm hoping for is that as he feels more in control of my behaviour, he'll lose some of that fear NTs have of us, and cut me more slack. And as someone once said here on a thread, we're an acquired taste, so buying time can make a difference.

Good to year that you will be keeping your job. I was fired two months ago, just five months after being admitted. It was my first job. Workplaces are for NTs, and every aspie should have a "post-it" on their desk or whatever (always on sight) saying "BE NT". Simple things will cause us to loose our job. Like the way we seat, as you said. I was fired because i was not in the team mood... It was after loosing my job that i realised i have Asperger's.

You were intelligent. By antecipating your boss, you gained the HR attention.

I'm sorry to hear you lost your job. Workplaces are for NTs, yes. That's why they're Aspie hell.

I'm glad to hear you are able to keep your job. He does not like the way you sit? How strange...

Women are supposed to sit in certain ways. I think it comes from when we had to wear skirts. Is the OP female?

We had a meal with another department today and everyone was sitting upstraight except me, I was reclining low. NTs care very much about these (stupid) hierarchy things. If those in power in the group are not reclining comfortably, then you an underling reclining in your chair is an affront to those in power, ie rebellion, ie worst workplace behavior ever.

I'm also very bad at knowing when I have to leave the boss's office, when I have to sit down, remain standing, etc. Now he tells me.

That's great that they are trying to work it out again. Hopefully someone told him that how he was treating you before was wrong.

I think, if in doubt, just copy everyone else, lol.

Yes, I used to sit differently, I had bad posture and I'm tall so I slumped.

You have to jam your bottom in the far back of the chair seat and sit up straight.

Sounds quite promising GT,like aspie rehab or feedback.

Well if he fires u for just HAVING AS then tell him to SHOVE IT UP HIS ASS!

Glad to hear that you are pusing back greentea. I stopped working 5 years ago and have been living on my savings since then. Not working has actually given me the time and space I needed to understand autism better. Like many others, I was fired from every job I ever had and they were all at big, prestigious firms. I could put it down to ugly office politics, bad breaks, the Asian financial crisis, the dot com crash and et cetera; but the truth for me is that autism does cause me to do things that others might find unbearable. For instance, when I am in melt down mode, not only does my gastro-intestinal system wreck havoc on my routine and get in the way of doing my work, the endless flashbacks can cause me to appear more aggressive and ill tempered than I really am. It is not simply about not fitting in or conforming to certain norms, there are also the inescapable aspects of how autism affects my physiology.

What I hear is the hint of desperation in your post and I hope sincerely that you will hold on to your job; but in the event that you do lose it, bear in mind that there are somethings which are simply not within our control.