Help! I need ideas to help my brother cope with his AS+OCD

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He goes on holiday with mum and dad and another family who are familiar with his situation and have known him for years. The stay in a villa with pool and go out for excursions. Just a normal family holiday. Although he still has the obssessive washing and the lateness, he is not as bad on holiday and cuts down on all the rituals. He seems to make himself cope a bit better while away.

Like I said he couldn't live on his own. He has a spider phobia and will wake my Dad up at anytime of the night to get rid of a spider, they freak him out. He can't deal with dirty washing or cleaning (it would make him wash himself more) etc etc...

I am worried that he is going downhill fast and will end up in hospital but will this stabilise him or stress him out completely?

Thanks i'll check out that book site link now

Why does he think it was better on holiday?
Does it remind him of a happy time?
Does he think it's better because it's new and interesting?
(Or is it the same villa you've been visiting for years?)
Do these special people make him feel good?
Is there something about the pool or the way the bed creeks or the smell of raw wood?
Does he think that getting more exercise makes a difference?
What can you do around town that would make him feel that way?

My sister complains about depression when she doesn't get enough sunlight.

Your brother needs a holiday now before he gets any worse. It's probably not possible but if he could remain on holiday for a few months you might figure out what's going on in that environment that enables him to do better. You might also consider the other people he socializes with when on holiday. One or more of them may make him feel safer than at home.

I suspect there is something about his home environment that is severely upsetting him. I have chemical sensitivities and am wondering if your brother doesn't have them too. If there is new carpet or mold I would either have to live outside or move. And being forced to live with my mother would be pure hell for me; I couldn't even begin to act normal in that kind of living arrangement.

Also I'm a very picky eater. There are lots of foods I have to avoid in order to feel well. I'm guessing your brother like many Aspies is also a picky eater (or maybe he should be). When on holiday is he going to restaurants and allowed to choose what he wants to eat? Does it make him more comfortable to eat in a restaurant?

You might try an air purifier in his room or where he spends most of his time. Is he getting more fresh air when on holiday?

What about acupuncture? Tai Chi?

So.. Armed with all the information I have gathered from your responses and browsing through other subjects on the site, I had a LONG chat with my bro today. Asked him some things outright instead of delving and drawing my own conclusions. I repeated what I understood so I could check I had got it and tried to be honest and open with him without stressing him out. I tried to identify the situations where he felt most anxious and we worked out that maybe although he felt he ought to be doing these things it would be OK if he didn't, so the pressure which triggers the anxiety and OCD is lessened. We discussed therapy and he explained to me why he didn't get on with the previous guy. It was enlightening. We will talk again tomorrow. I hope it helps though i'm not sure. I've spoken to my Mum regarding the issues he has so i will wait to see if there is any improvement. Hopefully the doctor will change his medication tomorrow and he can begin the process of adjusting to that. I've suggested he registers on the site here to get and give some support if he's able or just read through some of the stuff on here without having to meet anyone or have a instant conversation so i'll check again tomorrow here and then leave him to start again himself with privacy. Thanks for all your help, I may be back if things do not go well....

Get him off the meds.
ASD's do not respond usefully to meds and are not infrequently worsened.
Do it gradually and watch him improve.

Make sure he takes Omega 3 capsules - EASILY the best anti-depressant ... works long-term.
But don't take the combo 3-6-9's, as Om-6 blocks the uptake of 3.

A LITTLE drink on alternate days does far more for the body and soul than snake-oil pharma product.