negative family reactions

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I've just had one of the most emotionally draining weekends of my life. My wife and I recently told her siblings and parents that our son has a positive, albeit mild diagnosis.

They basically went ape. They seemed to think we'd failed our child for even dreaming of taking him to a psychologist. We've hurt him more than we can ever know, one said. They're appalled because they think he's completely normal, and ask us only "what don't we like about him?"

We tried to explain his depression at bedwetting at age 6, his dawning perception that he's slightly different and other intuitions of our that spurred us to seek professional help. One of her siblings isn't even speaking to her. Her father actually broke down in tears at what we'd done (to him, he seemed to be saying). It's as if we'd broken some taboo.

My only explanation is a) that just as we have had a difficult time coming to terms with this, they are still in "shock" and may need time to take it in; b) they're not entirely well-adjusted.

Any other parents out there find it rough going when talking to family? Or people who found out late, and shared the info with their family?

It just seemed so absurd to me in the end. Us getting yelled at for seeking help for our child. We wanted support and were absolutely, totally spurned, rejected.

I hope it is a)
Good luck hopefully they will come to terms with it.
The person who really counts is your son.

Have you looked at this:

http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/grandparents.html

yet?

Wow.

I can't tell you how much it meant to us to read that. It meant almost as much for us as for her parents (and mine...)

Thank you.

Yeah, I'm glad I could help. I really liked that article. I thought it was very insightful.

I hope the grandparents are able to become more accepting in the future. Your son is still very lucky to have both parents who are understanding and not having a poor reaction to his diagnosis. My spouse still sometimes flips back and forth between...there's something for concern...everything's fine. I guess time will tell for both of us. I too found the article to be very good. I hope it helps you.

We didn't tell my grandmother I was autistic because she'd send me vitamins through the mail.

Please also understand how hard that will be for your child.

My sister rejected me -on five different occassions she's either called me names or said that I will never be normal. I can't tell you the emense pain that caused or how sick I felt to hear those words.

At first I was sad, but then my sadness turned to rage -and I'm not sure which was worse.

For me, personally, I was always a little afraid that my family or my parents might reject me because I am autistic.
I think there is a lot of pressure for kids on the spectrum to be...I dunno...something our parents want us to be.
And in my experience there are always three types of family members; the kind that accept their child for who they are regardless, those who are overprotective because they know the world will not understand and inevidibly hurt their child...and the kind that push us away.

Personally, I'd say "Well i'm sorry you refuse to love Johnny for the way he is."

but that would likely cause an immense rift that I gather you don't want.

When you get a chance, show them the positive aspects of his diagnosis. I have no doubt that I wouldn't have graduated college with a 4.0 once, let alone, twice if I weren't an aspie. And think of all the famous aspies out there. They might not be ready to listen to such things for a while though