The crucial difference we have with NTs

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From what I see, NTs grasp reality mainly through intuitive decoding of non-verbal "signs", NVLD mainly through analysis of verbal messages. It's natural then that we draw different conclusions about a situation and therefore act upon a different understanding of it in many cases. So yes, NVLD do apply wonderful logic. But that doesn't mean we are being logical (or more logical than NTs even) - because same as for NTs, we are not acting upon ALL the logical info. There's much info that we're not getting and NTs are. Both NTs and us act upon partial messages we get.

Often, we see NTs (and they see us) as being illogical and not realistic, because we are acting on knowledge that is invisible to each other.

The gap becomes wider then because many NTs tend to save analysis time and energy by relying too heavily and drawing conclusions from non verbal data and disregarding any logic behind it (aka appearances). And we in turn don't take into account that we may be acting upon very partial knowledge too (aka oblivious). This is where we piss each other off and the rest is just downhill lack of communication and resentment / alienation from each other.

One thing I've learned recently is in order to avoid major trouble with NTs (since they're the majority and back each other up in any social interaction), even if I can't for the life of me grasp the messages they are grasping, is to at least not forget that the NTs with me are relying heavily on APPEARANCES and that I should be very watchful of the APPEARANCE of what I do, regardless of what I actually do. What NTs do with each other is give out the right vibes to make others conclude what they want them to conclude from APPEARANCES. NTs don't rely on each other grasping the logic behind their actions, they know that logic will be largely overlooked.

A simplistic example: If I wear a Looney Tunes tie to a job interview, the NT HR person will automatically assume I'm not into giving an impression of serious professionalism. An Aspie/NVLD might inquire about it, or conclude that I may have diverse interests such as exceling as a serious professional and creative ties, because there's logic in.

My way of thinking about it is that NT perception and thought is more of an automatic, allaround-at-once process, and ASD perception and thought is, depending where on the spectrum the person falls, more manual, more statically situated and dwelling on individual facets and rules individually.

Basically, social rules must be followed by intuition rather than conscious thought to be more NT?

The really smart NTs use the invisible cues to create more conversation, and then they can use verbal analysis to figure out the rest. That's what I do, but hey, I'm a halfer. I can see it from both points of view.

The difference is NT's are auto-prejudiced, they never question whether or not their the automatic signals of their mind and body is lying to them, they trust feelings over building rational model of sound judgement.

In short : There not very good people, when you get down to brass tacks. I had a woman stay with me, she was lively, happy and funny, but couldn't tell me why I made her uncomfortable, she had no justification either, "she just does" doesn't cut it for me, that is why I think some NT's (not all) are more primitive then some people (not all) with AS. Some women seem especially primitive to me, they are just really really prejudiced, like their feelings control them and they never are suspicious of what they feel or try to push against the grain.

I've learned from my own experiences, I can't trust my emotions or my rationality always, and I always have to be careful that they aren't perfect estimators of human worth or character.

I wonder myself if I do think differently when I look at faces, like I can interpret faces, one of the non-aspie traits I have, but I find when I am, I am always thinking to myself stuff like "that person squinted their eyes, which means they are probably suspicious of me" and I wonder if true NTs don't have to "think" about the interpretations at all like that.

I think the advantage the NT has is mostly instinctive. They don't particularly pay attention to anything and are mostly running on over-drive. With that in mind, I think they are the ones who are more or less "oblivious" than not. They aren't consciously aware of much, as it appears to me, and can't be credited that way for very much either.

Some of these observations about NTs sound like more of an IQ issue than an NT issue.

IQ is a crude measure of intelligence, the girl I had stay with me had a very high IQ and knew three languages and she still acted like a child in terms of maturity, prejudice goes well beyond IQ, it's unconscious and it's automatic. BTW she was 30 years old.

Oh, it may have been another unrelated issue then, like simply being spoiled or selfish. She does sound immature. But not all NTs are thoughtless cretins, is all I'm saying.

The only purpose of a generalization is to make a point, and that's all it is.

Hi Greentea! Nice to have you back

Zakfiend, I do the same thing. I can act really immature and this is another issue of mine. This is one of the reasons I stay so quiet. I realize my avatar is kind of silly. I picked it because of this prize I won out of a claw machine. I managed to nab a "Blossom" stuffed toy and thought it was really cute because it had a face like a powder puff with eyes and I thought:

I could use this to put powder on my face!

I realize it is immature:(

Incase anyone is wondering about my signature, it's a quote from one of the cartoons.

Uhmmm I'm not this person



It's not whether or not someone can act like a kid, it's in how people relate, I still like cartoons and I am over 30, that doesn't make me immature in how I deal with people and associate with them, she was immature in the sense she was rude and she was a snob, in short - a spoiledbrat, very aesthetically "racist" as I like to call it.

But it had a lot to do with how she was raised I am sure, so I don't blame her entirely for it, children are the products of the society in which they exist.

Zakfiend, Greentea is the OP.

Green Tea mentioned a cartoon on a tie and you mentioned immaturity and I connected the two.

Thank you, Ana it's sooo good to be back ! !!

you know instead of trying so much to divide people, why don't we try and giving togetherness a shot eh?