Skin pressure and how it relates to AS

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On another topic on this forum walking on the balls of toes was referenced as being an AS trait. And it got me thinking and wondering why that is.

I walk on the balls of my feet while I'm in the kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil and when walking up the stairs when my shoes are off. I never really questioned it, assuming that it may have something to do with my mum, who used to do ballet. A genetic memory, or seeing her doing it once when I was a child.

Seeing the topic made me question why, and it finally occurred to me today why it might have been.

I was discussing with my father my dislike of being touched, and he brought up the fact that I seemed to be fine with being touched when I was a child and how I would crawl all over him and my mum. Which needless to say I thought was a little odd.

It brought up the memory I had though (and for years had reconised as not being quite normal) of holding hands as a child, I would demand that my dad held my hand as tight as possible, so tight that it would almost cut of my blood flow. I couldn't handle a light touch, I needed the pressure. That's when he mentioned that when I would crawl all over my parents hugging and everything, I would grip them, not just with my hands but with my whole body (and this would be with me sitting on their lap) so much so that it would hurt them and they would have to stop me.

Which led me back to the walking on the ball of my toes, thinking about it, it's the pressure I like, the feel of the weight of my body.

I just don't understand though why this would be, what the mental reasoning behind this is, why does it seem to bring comfort?

Does anyone have a explaination for this, or has come up with a logical theory?

i NEVER wear bare feet. AND if i have to, i walk on my toes - it is not a balancing thing but a sensory thing - i simply cannot stand the feel of the soles of my feet sticking to the ground or floor surface. I wear thongs around the house. They are placed by my single bed at night and i put them on - even to go to the toilet - then take them off and get back in to bed. I wear shoes of some description ALL the time.

i dont know why, but i also have a huge touch issue..i think the hard hug's are part of some instinctive safety feeling...i also do enjoy light touch in certain areas, but only under controlled circumstances..otherwise it is very uncomfortable...and it makes my body twitch and gives me anxiety..

My son is very like you were as a child. He crawls all over people, and hugs so tightly that it hurts. He also rolls himself up in rugs and duvets, hides behind the cushions on the couch and so on.

I haven't noticed him tiptoeing myself, but at a meeting last week his teacher mentioned that she has recently noticed him doing this during Golden Time on a Friday.

I don't particularly like being touched myself, and light touches on my skin are particularly horrible. I shudder just thinking about it.

My dad thinks it could be related to insecurity-like if I don't hold on tight I loose them (which i have to say, is ironic considering I was never possessive with my dad, if fact I spent most of my child trying to marry him off to other woman so he'd have other kids and leave me and my mum alone so we could get me another dad).

I know I was scarely possessive of my mum, I can remember when she played with other children it was like a red rage came upon me, even I was afraid of what I would do.

But I don't recall it ever being a clingy issue, in fact in another conversation my father had we came to the conclusion that I wasn't a very clingy child, very self possessed as a child (I say we came to a conclusion together because we had different definitions of certain words-he was pointing out a whining child and saying thank goodness I wasn't whiny, I found the thing amusing since as a child he was always chastising me for whining,after much confusing discussion it turned out that now he equates whiny with cling.).

It just interests me as to what connection our brains are making between the physical sensations and the emotional/mental response certain acts induce.

Sometimes I find myself digging my finger nails into my skin on various places on my body and that rather being painful or even "pleasurable", it makes me feel normal and contented. However, lately I am having a break down, and it seems I am doing this stimming more and more. It works best on my face, but nowadays I do it too hard and too much, and it leave marks. The skin beneath my lower lip and above my chin still hurts from using that site yesterday and the day before (the gum line behind it also hurts).

Light touch feels very bad. Even a gentle brush of someones sleeve against me. I feel compelled to rub and "wipe" the site with my hand, though I have no fear of germs or anything OCD like that.

Deep pressure tends to feel better. Its so backwards. I have been able to hug again by hugging people hard and avoiding direct skin to skin contact (which is for some reason worse). However, now I don't trust anyone enough to do that anymore since two of the three "friends" that helped me with this have hurt me and are no longer "friends".

I also find I am hypersensitive to water. After having been wet, my skin feels awful. Like I can't touch anything with my hands for a while.

one thing that annoys me is management types throwing an arm around my shoulder. That just leaves me cold. I see it as a form of dominance, which is probably what it's supposed to be.

I run on the balls of my feet and climb stairs that way, but my feet are almost big enough to walk on water... (11 & 1/2 EEE...

I don't always 'toe walk' except when i feel anxious, and overly focused on something, and anything else, such as the texture of the carpet or the cold kitchen floor is too much. I also walk around with my hand clenched (in a fist with my fingers wraped around my thumb)