Realtime NT languge, a word problem? Own language not fluent

Post Reply New Topic

It seems to me that NT conversation is like a word problem you would find in a math class.

Ultimately what do you with word problems? You try to isolate the equation in the entanglement of words. In some cases they will put in extra irrelevant numbers that have nothing to do with the equation to confuse the person trying to figure them out.

For me thats how NT language feels like when spoken to me. Say I am at the work place (this is not an actual example of something that happened to me), and I ask what I need to do (that is the point and what I am trying to achieve in the conversation), and the person will say a bunch of garbage about how there cat goes on the counter tops in the kitchen and they left for work late at 8:05 or something, and packaged around that they will also partially answer my question. I am not concerned about their cat, or anything else but what I asked so as they are talking I have to dig through the mess of words and try pick out all of the job related parts and put it back together to form my current priority. They'll also use a few slang words that I am not familiar with so while I am trying to figure out what those words mean, the person is still talking after that, so I am simultaneously concentrating and thinking about some of the first parts of what they already said while they are still in the process of the end or middle of the conversation. Its like its not fluent yet its my own language. But its only that bad in a real time conversation, not as much with messaging.

Does this sound at all familiar?

Very Familiar... part of the reason I am so glad I have klonopin to take after phone conversations with my grandmother "They" don't understand that "we" are not interested in the small talk, small talk just throws me into sensory overload. I know what you are saying...but I havent' found a tactful way of expressing it to people so they will stop.

tell them to STFU

j/k; point out to them that that has nothing to do with what you originally were focusing on and please stop confusing you. Damn the social consequences, you warned them; it's thei fault.

I fully understand what you're saying.

From personal experience, people know that I don't respond well to that type of conversation, so they tend to come to me asking specific questions instead.

I really don't know what would be a polite way to tell someone you feel that way - maybe you could refer to having Asperger's Sydrome and then tell them what it is if they ask about it?

Not proud, but STFU has been useful in some situations. Or my classic "dude, I'm not hearing you" Only my hubby understands though

Completely and utterly.

This either doesn't happen to me or I don't notice and do this myself.

Rather familiar situation. But there is a polite way to solve the problem: when NT begins to talk about the essence of the question, show, that you are interested (e.g. with some short answers or small extra questions). If you cannot extract such piece in the conversation, reask the question in another form.

NT use such style of conversation for expressing their emotional states and support unformal relationships. When you are dealing with such thing, you may even not concentrate on exact meaning of sentences, facts, slang words... To avoid overloads and "multitasking", it is possible to read emotions from voice tone and not caring about details of face expressions and eye contact.

It takes me longer than most people to realize that someone has said something... I also hate the small talk, cut to something important, I don't care about the weather, thats what looking outside is for. All my attempts at small talk consist of just a single or a second small stocked phrases that have no meaning or purpose to me.