Insanity & Always doing the wrong thing?

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I'm really scared of this situation, I don't know how to cope with it. I'm an 18 year old man with possible Asperger's traits. I'm still trying to figure out if I have it or not, so if anything in this points one way or the other I'd love to know.

I'm in a 2 year relationship with a woman I love very much, but it has descended into a nightmare of bizarreness which I have never experienced before, even with the many relationship problems we've had in the past.

Every day, I feel weighed down by heavy feelings of worry, dread, and anxiety. I can't stop thinking in circles about how my life could be normal, better, less stressful. I try to think of positive ways to improve the situation and I at least feel proud that I've made a lot of progress in being able to organize my thoughts and cope with my (usually extremely variable) emotions.

But every day, inevitably, I make the wrong choices in the relationship, as well as in other parts of my life. My girlfriend, even though she understands and even discovered that I may have Asperger's, often gets very frustrated at my seeming inability to make the right choice. And I can't give her a clear answer as to why, because it's like I just lack the faculties to understand situations in the big picture and make the best decision based on what I feel. My GF ends up feeling like I'm being cold, uncaring, lazy, and just not trying. I love her so much and it literally tears my heart up when I make a crappy decision and it hurts her over and over, beyond my control or understanding.

Even worse, my constant mistakes send me into a swirling nightmare of confusion and sometimes panic. I become more withdrawn and shut off to others and the outside world. I end up not taking care of my own health since I feel like I'm in a stupor, and my GF, having to pick up the slack, resents me even more. The worst and most crushing thing of all, though, is a very recent development. I'm starting to experience more and more delusional and mildly insane symptoms as this continues. I now have a very serious problem of starting to randomly fall asleep during the day, especially during emotional conversations and the later the night gets. This feels totally beyond my control - I will be trying to stay awake and the next second my eyes will be closing and I will be immediately drifting off.

By far the scariest thing, however, is that in the mornings I often experience near complete, though non hallucinatory, delusions while still in bed. These can last 20-30 minutes after waking up, and will only really disappear once I've physically gotten up from bed. The delusions usually involve me feeling like my GF is someone else, that there are other people with us (usually one), that I am somewhere else, and there are often incredibly nonsensical objectives which only make sense in the moment. I attempt to act out these delusions, and only when I actually start talking at my GF about nonsensical things does it start to hit me that I'm delusional, but it doesn't get better at that point, I only get more confused and frantic. It's probably the worst thing I've ever experienced, and I know it's scary for my GF as well.

I've considered breaking up with her to spare both of our selves, but there are often intimate, loving moments which briefly shine between the nightmare that make it incredibly difficult to end this.

I'm so scared because it just feels like it's getting worse. Can anyone understand this?

It doesn't sound like insanity--it sounds like a sleep disorder. The thing you're experiencing in the morning is called a hypnogogic state, and the dropping off to sleep sounds like narcolepsy. Just tell your doctor you think you have a sleep disorder and they'll refer you to a specialist for a sleep study.

Not the sleep stuff, but I understand the first part all too well (as I always felt this when I was with my mum). You do sound quite aspie-like to me, although I can't tell you you are an aspie because I am not an accredited psychologist, obviously.