Do you ever get "Why didn't you....?" ?

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My AS mother would cry while washing the dishes, saying, "Nobody washes the dishes but me." My brother and (both also with AS) would say, "but you never asked us to."

She would say, "But, I shouldn't have to. Forget about it. If you don't care enough to just do it, I'll do it from now on."

So, she always did it after that.

This has been a great source of irritation for me on a day to day basis....for many years..

I had the "why didn't you clean your room" conversation/argument with my mom on a regular basis. It didn't bother me at all so why would I clean it?

Hmm isn't it the NTs who lack Theory of Mind in those cases - when they think we know something we don't? (that we should do this or that, eg.)

I have experienced that too.

Or that I was expected by my family to know how often to clean, change underwear, wash hair and so (my and their opinion about when it was needed wasn't always the same), and if I said, I had never heard I was supposed to do it with this or that frequency, they'd be like, 'that's just something you should know'. As if it's kind of NT intuition.

Yep. When I lived at home with my parents, I'd get that all the time. It happens at work too, sometimes. It annoys me, considering I told my supervisors that I need them to be direct and specific.

Yes, just had that a couple of times within a single call from home (I'm working late) - the call finished tersely. Mrs S has been dealing with me for years and she does understand, but some things just come so naturally to her that - even though she knows from long experience that to me it won't have come naturally - that sometimes I'm just really irritating I think.

Mostly we solve the issue at home by having jobs that are always mine, and jobs that are never mine, so I know where I stand and she doesn't get frustrated with me. But even after years of allocating things in this way stuff crops up often enough that isn't categorised, or like today something was simply not on my script.

Mind you, on the room-cleaning thing, our children are NT (as far as I know) but it would never occur to them to tidy anything up, not even if they had just been told very directly and forcefully that they are supposed to!