Anyone else accused of being gay for simply being different?

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reddingcal
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28 Mar 2009, 4:30 am

Several times in my life I was targeted for abuse because they believed that I was gay. I'm a straight male so I never understood why they would immediately assume that different = homosexual. Has this happened to anyone else?



kip
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28 Mar 2009, 4:37 am

My mum thought I was a lesbian for the longest time... I wasn't, but nothing would change her mind. She went so far as to put up ribbons on pride day one year...

Must have been a shock when I brought home a BF. She was really cool about it though, and if I was there was probably no better parent to have. It probably didn't help any that out of all my HS friends, I was the only one who didn't identify as lesbian, gay or bisexual.

I just wasn't ready for boys yet, spent to much time alone in my head, trying to figure me out. Didn't need to try and figure out a guy too.


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LifeOfTheSpectrum
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28 Mar 2009, 4:43 am

I'm constantly called gay when I'm not. Yeah, I may be a bit camp, but I'm not gay.


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protest_the_hero
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28 Mar 2009, 7:01 am

LOL I have. "You're so gay."



skybluepink
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28 Mar 2009, 7:03 am

I was accused of being a lesbian all the time at school, partly because I didn't care about fashion and partly because I went everywhere with my best friend who translated the world for me when I found it incomprehensible.

Later at college I found it was easier to be a six foot woman who's uninterested in fashion and doesn't have much money if you dress in cheap boys clothes. Then people often thought I was a gay man. I think in a lot of people's minds, different=whatever term of abuse first springs to mind. :?



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28 Mar 2009, 7:07 am

I have been called a Lesbian all through most of my school years. The bf I am currently seeing is my first. I have never kissed a guy. I am def not into fashion. I hate stereotypes!


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Keeno
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28 Mar 2009, 7:19 am

Being different comes into it, but it's more to do with being chronically single and long periods without a partner of the opposite sex, even if you are straight.

As far as I know I don't get accused of being gay. But this sort of thing is a major issue and risk that would face, especially, the independent adult Aspie having to live in a community.



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28 Mar 2009, 7:21 am

Yes, it happens a lot to me. Because I have not the right skills to build a relationship with a girl and never had a girlfriend, many people do believe that I am gay. Especially when I was a teenager, most of my classmates thought I was homosexual because they were going out and were experimenting with relationships, sex and girlfriends and I'm not. Although I never have been openly bullied about it, you could notice it. I think that many people think when you are a boy or man and not chasing after girls all the time means that you are gay :roll:



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28 Mar 2009, 7:22 am

Some people made comments about how they thought I might be homosexual because I was not acting 'like the other girls' around boys and men and not like 'the other girls' around girls and women.

Which basically boils down to that I don't act like a normal person around anyone, but people were usually too dumb to reach that conclusion.


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agmoie
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28 Mar 2009, 7:33 am

Male NTs with gay tendencies (the ones who are popular with girls because they have feminine eye contact and body language) don`t like our lack of feminine characteristics so project the fears of their own homosexuality onto us.



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28 Mar 2009, 7:44 am

No one ever accused me, but I am bi so...


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b9
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28 Mar 2009, 8:11 am

Quote:
Anyone else accused of being gay for simply being different


yes. by lecherous closet homosexuals. i have limited testosterone, and i do not have hair on my legs, and i have a feminine shape in a way. like my kneecaps are not thick and square like men. i do not have any visible muscle definition, but i have curvature that attracts some desperate men. my body fat distribution is more feminine than masculine.

if they notice that i am disinterested toward a girl who is otherwise sexy, then they approach me later on and try to seduce me into saying i am gay. but i am not.
they say to me that they would totally understand if i was gay, and i say i am not gay.
they seem not to want to believe that and start asking futher questions, but they are dirty minded men who like skin and want to believe i am gay.
i do not act gay though.
it is for a different reason i am hoped to be gay by people who think my mind is feeble but my body is takeable. their reasoning is because i look somewhat feminine in my figure, that i must be attracted to men.
what scrotum dragging primates.

i hate the world of sniffing sexual hounds.



cassandra
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28 Mar 2009, 9:22 am

Yes, people thought I was a lesbian just because I was good at math physics, enjoyed martial arts and liked playing computer games. I didn't bother me though as I did not see it as being an insult. Not all girls like to paint their nails and be girly :P



28 Mar 2009, 10:03 am

I was but it also helped me realized that I might be gay. I am very happy being myself. I have always been interested in girls in a way, but I find myself interested in effeminate guys too, I have an attraction to them and a desire to be more like them. As far as girls go, I'm just interested in casual platonic friendship with them.



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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28 Mar 2009, 10:09 am

People feel this need to catagorize others. If you are a female and don't jump into some guy's lap and start drooling all over him, you must be gay. If you don't have a strong sex drive you must be a degenerate. It's insane!



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28 Mar 2009, 10:18 am

b9 wrote:
Quote:
Anyone else accused of being gay for simply being different


yes. by lecherous closet homosexuals. i have limited testosterone, and i do not have hair on my legs, and i have a feminine shape in a way. like my kneecaps are not thick and square like men. i do not have any visible muscle definition, but i have curvature that attracts some desperate men. my body fat distribution is more feminine than masculine.

if they notice that i am disinterested toward a girl who is otherwise sexy, then they approach me later on and try to seduce me into saying i am gay. but i am not.
they say to me that they would totally understand if i was gay, and i say i am not gay.
they seem not to want to believe that and start asking futher questions, but they are dirty minded men who like skin and want to believe i am gay.
i do not act gay though.
it is for a different reason i am hoped to be gay by people who think my mind is feeble but my body is takeable. their reasoning is because i look somewhat feminine in my figure, that i must be attracted to men.
what scrotum dragging primates.

i hate the world of sniffing sexual hounds.


Of course, the low testosterone DOES lead to the features you say you have. THAT is a given. Ironically, testosterone DOES fuel the sex drive, apparently for BOTH sexes, but doesn't determine which sex your interest will be for.

Frankly, I am surprised that anyone would dare dispute that. There ARE some rather meek males that LOVE women, and are certainly some masculine looking males that are homosexual. As for "scrotum dragging", are you aware that SOME actually use a system to try to lower the testicles, and make the scrotum bigger? Frankly, I wouldn't DARE to consider that because it could hurt the testicles, and lead to infertility. And WHY would anyone want that anyway?

As for not being interested in a girl, different people have different tastes, etc.... And I don't just look at how pretty a woman is. FURTHER, SOME seem to care about breast size a lot, and that would be my LAST concern. Heck, I told a coworker about how "Anna Kournikova" was made to look so plain, and so good in a magazine spread, and he seemed APPALED to think that I could consider her pretty at all. I guess I am not the ONLY one. The spread said that she was such a relatively BAD tennis player(ranked 15th in the world at the time) that she wouldn't get any mention if she weren't so pretty.

Wikipedia says:

Quote:
Kournikova was named one of People's 50 Most Beautiful People in 1998, 2000, 2002, and 2003 and was voted "hottest female athlete" and "hottest couple" (with Iglesias) on ESPN.com. In 2002 she also placed first in FHM's 100 Sexiest Women in the World in U.S. and UK editions.


As for ME? YEP! The last person to call me a "fag" did it without knowing me AT ALL, and as a curse. Ironically, HE got kicked out of school because HE was homosexual! If I WERE homosexual, I would have acted out THERE, because I HATED that school. BTW, that was about 28 years ago. IF you are male.... SOME figure that if you don't shower, that there is something wrong with you. They ALSO figure that, if you don't like sports, that you are homosexual. Again, it is a PROVEN FACT that MANY that are that way are NOT homosexual, and that MANY homosexuals are NOT that way! So such assumptions are just STUPID!

I guess the only way to prove homosexuality is to prove a common interest in it, or actions along those lines. Ironically, some that would call you homosexual would claim that ALL men had at least one homosexual act, as a standard PHASE. I didn't. That kind of blows THAT theory.