So frustrated!! !

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Well, I should have just thrown $350 in the trash today. The therapist we have been seeing for several months thinks my 14 year old son has Aspergers, so he wanted us to get evaluated. We met with a psychiatrist. I didn't know how a doctor was going to meet my son for an hour and diagnosis him, but the therapist (who is working with the court system) pretty much said to do it, so I did.

Well, in the first minute, she meets my son, asks him how he is doing and he says sarcastically, "wonderful". Then she said, "Well, kids with Aspergers aren't usually sarcastic". She pretty much made up her mind right then. She said is pre-occupation with the computer (it's all he wants to do, he has no friends, he wants to do nothing else or even go anywhere) is normal and many kids play on the computer. She said his "special interest" would have to be more specific, like rocks, space, etc.

She said because he wasn't speech delayed (though he didn't talk until he was two, I thought that was delayed) and he didn't line things up when he was little, that showed he wasn't AS.

He has no friends at all and has always had problems with social situations. He freaks out if things are changed and he gets totally obsessed with certain ideas and thinks things must be the way he thinks or else!

I am so frustrated! If anyone could give me any ideas, I would really appreciate it. Any of you Aspies out there able to be sarcastic and have a sense of humor? Does a person have to have every single trait of AS to be diagnosed?
Thank you!

Catherine

If he has trouble making and keeping friends it's an indication something's going on. Special interest would be something specific that's kind of obsessive, like horses or dinosaurs. It can even be something like Pokemon. Does he have an interest like Pokemon or a cartoon or something? Anything specific like that?
Does he make friends on the computer, just not at school?
Maybe one of his teachers could recommend something? She might be able to refer you to a specialist. Sometimes, teachers know who specializes in what. Chances are he needs to see a specialist in the field.

No not everyone has to have every trait. I've had a similar experience with a psychiatrist, I think you should stay clear. Get a school evaluation done because they're free and then you can receive services if they're needed. And then you can go to another psychiatrist and have it on record that he has a school diagnosis.

It's supposed to take weeks, if not months to diagnose Asperger's.
I was very sarcastic with my psychologist. My diagnosis isn't really official (no reports) but it took about four months.
This psychiatrist doesn't sound like they know much about Asperger's at all.

I agree with finding out about a certain special interest, because a lot of kids do stay on the computer a lot. I know my mum had to drag me off there to eat somethi-- I wait I do have Asperger's. OK so maybe that example isn't good.

You might need to give more background information. My mum said that I wasn't a playful baby, had my own routine of keeping her up at night and would line things up.

That does sound like he has AS.

Also, a speech delay isn't really common with AS, that's more classical autism.

I hope that you do find a good ASD specialist that can properly diagnose him.

Stick around, Catherine, you will read many posts by Asperger's kids and adults that will blow that stereotype of the therapist right out the window.

Matter of fact, if you think her heart can take it, have her log on and read what Asperger's folks are really like. And it took one test for the psychologist to know and diagnose that I had AS. So it doesn't take forever, has been my experience.

and Welcome to WP!

Merle

I wasn't either, until perhaps 12. I DO remember others being sarcastic. I STILL hate the concept! And it probably stems from the idea of "being courteous". After all, it is easier to say something that sounds like a compliment if you can be sarcastic. It is easier to get out of an unintended slight if you can say you were being sarcastic.



She has a point about the computer TODAY if it is a forum(like this), or games. Still, the other stuff is ODD, but like I am. BTW MY interesst, at that time, waas computers. I knew over 8 computer languages, and did practically EVERYTHING EXCEPT play games or be on BBS'(the term for forum like systems then).



Small phrases that are 1/2 intelligible by 2yo is STILL within the normal milestones! Still, AS does NOT require one to have delayed speach. In fact, the NEW MORE TOLERANT definition only allows a certain amount of delay. In the LOOSEST interpretation, it is like words by 3yo.



Sounds like AS symptoms!



You CAN'T have every symptom. Various doctors have such crazy interpretations, that some symptoms end up being VERY conflicting.

Judging by the opening to your message, I ASSUME you are in the US. A court ordered "expert" may be considered like a GOD. They have the ability to REALLY complicate your life. I KNOW how frustrated you must be. I wish I could give you advice that I thought would work. You MIGHT be able to find a nice doctor with a GOOD reputation that can diagnose your son and HOPE it trumps the IDIOT you had to go to. At WORST, it could help your case. Of course, THAT costs money allso.

I think the therapist goes away from the thought of Asperger's a little too easy. And that he couldn't have it because of using sarcasm, that's quite a stereotype.
I myself had a problem understanding sarcasm or irony as a kid, but came to understand it later. Also at 14 years, as far as I remember.
The thing with lining things up, that's more a Classic Autistic thing, as far as I have understood. The same with speech delay (some say that it's the difference between Asperger's and High Functioning Autism, that HFA has speech delay and AS don't).
And no, not everyone with AS has all traits, or the same.
When I was going to be diagnosed, the psychologist asked me if I could read faces (I said yes) and if I had special interests (I wasn't sure at that moment). So he said he was sure I didn't have it.
But I had found a lot of other things that I thought applied to me (eg. here on WP), made a list and showed him. Then he changed his mind.

Well, I was diagnosed in one sitting, but it sounds like the psychiatrist had no idea.

I was diagnosed by an AS specialist, who firstly sat me down and talked to me - observing the way I spoke, the things I talked about, if I stimmed, if I used eye contact, that sort of thing.

Then he actually got me to do all these tests, with puzzles and things like that (supposedly AS people are better at those certain types of tests). I think he also interviewed my mum, although I'm not sure because it was a fair way back and the memory is very hazy.

In other words, if all the psychiatrist did was talk to your son and say that because he was sarcastic he didn't have AS, and also that computers didn't count as a special interest, then the psychiatrist obviously knew very little about AS. Having a special interest is not a pre-requisite to having AS, it is a likely occurrence within those who have AS BECAUSE people with AS tend to get extremely focused on specific things and small details within specific narrow areas; thus - special interest.

However, that doesn't take into account aspies like me who get extremely focused on details and specific things, but these things are many and varied between many different areas of my life (for example one day I might get obsessed about buying a slushie, and talk on and on and on about it, and the next day I might have seen some sort of colourful bird at school, then talk on and on and on about it in extreme detail (you get the picture)).

For the record, I have never had one extremely specific all-encompassing interest in my life.

I agree with the other posters, getting a diagnosis is supposed to take weeks or months, with many tests and a complete anamnesis of childhood & current situation.

There's no way they could have determined yes or no in one sitting. Get a second opinion!

One of my special interests is space and it's a long going special interest, it has lasted for many years. Space is definitely not very specific, no more than computers IMO. There's so many different things to do with space I can't even begin to talk about it.

It doesn't matter how specific the interest is just how intense it is and how much it interferes with someone's life.

I am also very capable of being sarcastic it's just understanding it in others that I find near impossible. You should definitely get a second opinion there are so many misinformed doctors out there it's always best to get a second opinion.

Try talking to another psychiatrist. Your son does sound like an Aspie, and there are Aspies that can be sarcastic. I'm an Aspie, and (even though I don't use sarcasm much) I can be sarcastic, and I have a sense of humour. And my SpongeBob SquarePants special interest (which is clearly an Aspie trait) isn't rocks, space or anything like that.

You should have him see another psychiatrist, some misdiagnose and/or say there's nothing wrong, when they're actually wrong.

I have been using sarcasm since the year I turned 9. I remember very clearly experimenting with sarcasm after having it explicitly explained to me by my mother. I cannot recall if I asked her what sarcasm was because someone accused me of being sarcastic, or because someone accused me of not comprehending that they were being sarcastic (or maybe I even read the word in a book or heard it from tv).

I do know that once the concept was explained to me, I was bemused and intrigued; I have loved sarcasm ever since, although I still sometimes fail to recognize it, and have "false positives" (sometimes I think people are being sarcastic when they are not). People often mistake my sarcasm for earnest comments and often mistake my earnest comments for sarcasm, but I certainly know what sarcasm is in theory, use it routinely, and have done so since the year I turned 9.

This psychiatrist may be yet another bigot who fails to recognize their subjective stereotype of AS for what it is; a non-clinical and denigrating stereotype, no more appropriate to base their clinical decision making on than the premise "no woman is good at maths", "all African Americans are good at basketball and like to eat watermelon", or "all Catholics have big families and big guilt complexes". Does she accuse patients presenting with the claim they are Asian, of lying if they also claim to have not done well at maths in school?

To me, this notion that people without specialist expertise in ASDs, have any business holding themselves out as being qualified to have a clinical opinion about whether or not someone has an ASD, is blatant discrimination. It suggests that we are not true individuals (after all, people need extensive training and experience to recognize the varied manifestations of behavioral syndromes in human individuals.....what with real humans being so unique), it suggests that we are an exception to the general rule that physicians practice only within the scope of their competency, and it suggests that we universally lack the skill and the will, to adapt. It is grossly insulting, de-humanizing, systematic discrimination, and an abuse of our human rights that would not be tolerated in this day and age, were the target group to be based on ethnicity, most disabilities, sex/gender, sexual identity, religion, etc.

Autists are apparently an exception to modern notions of human dignity and basic human rights, particularly the right to not be discriminated against.

I've noticed.

The length of time it takes to be diagnosed is not really the issue. THe issue, as Sunshower points out, is making sure you actually get evaluated by someone who SPECIALISES in autism spectrum disorders and who is able to grasp the glaringly apparent manifestations and the miniscule subtleties that make up and ASD in any given individual.

THere is NO POINT going to a generci psychologist or psychiatrist for a diagnosis - no matter HOW good they are.
One needs to see someone who lives and breathes autism in their working life and who understands - as Sinsboldly points out - our diversity and our richness as people with ASD's and as individuals.

good luck. and stick around. you may well get a lot of identification here for yourself and you son.
the parents section is good and may really help you. there are some fantastic parents of ASD kids who post there and who offer support, insights and stories not dissimilar to your's.
At very least, by reading here and posting here, you may find some answeres one way or the other.

Two thoughts ...

1. The Doctor doesn't understand Asperger's. Many Aspies will have trouble identifying when non-literal language is being used in conversation, for example sarcasm, jokes and puns. An Aspie may take everything literally and miss that a non-literal interpretation should be applied. This different than saying that an Aspie cannot use non-literal language such as sarcasm, tell a joke or make a pun -- though the Aspie might not recognize the right time and manner to use non-literal language (e.g., I have an autistic relative who is a pun machine; all puns, all the time)

2. There are no limitations on what an Aspie can be obsessed with. The evaluation should focus on the intensity of the obsession, not the subject matter. I would like to see this doctor's list of prohibited Aspie obsessions.