Telling people about AS
Is it wrong to tell people you are autistic when you are pretty certain you are when you have no 'proof'? I do because it is a sort of shorthand to people - they understand autism (kind of) and are therefore prepared when I show some of my symptoms.
Everywhere seems to talk about 'autists diagnosed and undiagnosed' such as here where you can have 'Aspergers - Undiagnosed' though when I talked to a psychologist about my thoughts, she seemed to try to steer me away from self diagnosis, though nobody really wants to help me get anywhere.
Sometimes I feel bad cos I have no proof. Is it Ok to tell people that? Some of my friends do agree that I am autistic.
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gina-ghettoprincess
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It's certainly easier for people to believe you when you have "proof" but what sort of proof were you planning on providing? A written statement from your doctor? Not sure what proof you mean.
I've given up on telling most people about it at this point since it really doesn't do much good. The only exception is when something is really bothering me that the person has done or is doing. That's usually when I speak up.
Sometimes I tell people, for example if I'm doing a group activity or in a social situation and really not doing well. Otherwise I can come across as a moron or just a little weird.
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I'm not officially diagnosed and I wouldn't tell anyone that I was autistic or AS or otherwise unless I had a formal diagnosis. Mostly because "I" think I have AS. I'm not a psychologist or a psychiatrist. I am just a person who has read a few books about AS and really seems to think the diagnosis fits. My daughter is being assessed for AS right now and that also leads me to believe that I am not too far off to think that I could also have it. I am working on getting a diagnosis, however. It is a little tricky to find someone who will evaluate an adult, but it is possible.
All of that aside... If I were to go to the doctor tomorrow and he/she were to tell me that I do, in fact, have AS... I still don't think I would tell too many people about it. I can see a few areas of my life where I might be inclined to mention it, but overall I don't see a lot of reason to let anyone know. My family already knows that I am seaking an evaluation, so I don't need to really tell them anymore. However, I would think telling your family would just be a "given". The only other person (place) I would consider telling about my AS would be school and work. I am going to be going to graduate school in the fall and I already know that they are going to expect that I share an office space with three other students. I don't know how that is going to work, so I will likely mention to my advisor that I have some sensory issues. I have had to do this in the past, as well (I have been to grad school before in another field of study). I didn't know about AS back then, either. I just explained that I have a super hard time with sounds and they set me up in a broom closet! Hehehehehe You get the picture.... I got a small space to myself and everyone was happy. I don't think having a formal "reason" would have really changed the outcome all that much. It would probably just support my request and give some validity to my case. Ya know? Same thing for work. If I needed a quiet space I could ask for one. So far as the rest of it all goes, I don't see a lot of need to tell anyone about it. I do understand that everyone has different difficulties and that they may have a greater need to let it be known that they have some manner of ASD. I suppose the answer to this question is just as diverse as the WrongPlanet community is!! Ya know?
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I am undiagnosed and do not tell.
I did tell one employer where i had applied for a job that i possibly have AS or similar and explained why i applied to a job position (which they sort of missed the point with and thought i applied for something else - obviously my fault since i clearly wrote the TITLE of the position in my application...) Where i live, employers also can get government financial support if they hire people with disabilities and that could be very helpful for me to find a steady job.
If i get diagnosed with AS or a similar diagnosis, i will generally not tell - there is no point to it, but for certain positions that require more analytical skills than social skills i may feel that i should mention it. But that is then, and if.
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I'm official and I don't usually tell people because I can pass as normal, but it's mentioned on my facebook so they probably know now anyway, ah well. They haven't said anything about it though, thankfully.
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Likewise, I can pretend normal pretty good, but eventually people notice my peculiarites, then I start getting remarks like "dour expression, abrasive nature, doesn't socialise" on my performance reviews, so now I tell people up front. I'm quite surprised at how many people actually know something about AS. If they don't, I give them the simple explanation that we are mostly technically competent but socially inept, like Bill Gates without the money. They adjust to me and we end up getting along fine.
I even had one manager tell me he prefers to employ aspies in his company because they make world class engineers (he has actually met Bill Gates, and even though there may be no official diagnosis, he agrees that Bill has aspie characteristics).
I have a clinical diagnosis, but really had to convince myself by my own research t6o accept the diagnosis. When I tell people I have AS, I have never been asked to provide any evidence in mainstream life, but I did once when I was involved in a court case.
I often get "I'm sorry about your disability/medical condition" and I have to explain it's not a disabilty or medical condition, we're not defective, we're just different.
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I would tell someone who also has an ASD, but I wouldn't tell someone who's NT because I'm scared that they will begin looking at me like I'm some kind of a weirdo. Besides, I can normally pass as a very shy and mature NT.
Last edited by MathGirl on 14 Apr 2009, 3:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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I pass as normal to passerbys... But to people who have to be around me, I am definitly not normal. Although under the effects of alcohol I am more normal than I would usually be, but thats something entirely different... I do prefer people to know I am autistic, especially if I can trust them, and as a bonus, I am diagnosed.
MONKEY
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I pass as normal to passerbys... But to people who have to be around me, I am definitly not normal. Although under the effects of alcohol I am more normal than I would usually be, but thats something entirely different... I do prefer people to know I am autistic, especially if I can trust them, and as a bonus, I am diagnosed.
Yeah if someone talks to me they don't notice anything it's when they really get to know me the traits start peeping through. About the alchohol thing, once I went on a trip and we had this fizzy grape juice, I thought it was alchoholic because it tasted wine-ish, and I was suddenly really sociable becuase I thought it was the imaginary "alchohol" lol it was almost a placebo affect that made me some sort of social butterfly .
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