Ever felt controlled/overwhelmed by your special interest?

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Hi. My 5yo son has Asperger's. He has had a special interest since he was about a year old---no kidding---when he decided he would only play with animal toys. When he was 3 he branched off into dinosaurs and although he still likes animals, dinosaurs are his current love. At times his fixation has seemed concerning (like the day he continually tried to rip his ears off because "dinosaurs don't have external ears") but all in all its been a positive thing.

The other night before bed I asked him to choose a bedtime story that wasn't about dinosaurs (with the agreement that he could read his dino books as much as he wanted on his own before bed). He was fine at first but then tears started welling up and he said, "Mom, I can't stop thinking about dinosaurs even if I try. I think about them all day long and I think it's too much." I tried to probe...asking if someone else had told him that he does it too much. He said that nobody told him that, "only I think it's too much...it's TOO MUCH!" This went on for about an hour until he finally tearfully told me he didn't want to talk about it any more because now he had talked about THAT too much.

I reassured him that we love him and think he's a great kid no matter how much he thinks about dinosaurs...tried to point out the positives about how he's learned so much, etc.

It concerns me that he seems to be so emotional about it. Any insights? Can those special interests sometimes feel like an "addiction" that one wants to stop but can't?

I was obsessed with the Internet for a very long time. I used to post 50 posts a day here on WP. That's how bad the internet obsession was. I've found a more productive obsession doing crafts, and I could make a lot of money selling my projects in the open market.

As a child, I had a special interest in learning everything in the Jr Encyclopedia. I would "teach" my dolls out of it. The dolls would also "check out" library books. I had attached library cards in my children's books. I would keep records of what was checked out. This is before I was even in fourth grade. It started at around first grade. When I was in fourth grade, the whole thing just started to drive me insane. I quit and found another special interest.

Currently, since I have bipolar too, I can get hypomanic and set tough goals. My current one is to make 30 videos in 30 days for Autism Awareness Month next month. I've already made 5. I kind of wish I hadn't made such a tough commitment, but I did. Making videos is definitely a special interest of mine and sometimes that seems a bit overwhelming.

So, just out of curiosity, if you don't meet your goal what will happen? Once you've set such a goal for yourself, can you let go of it or do you need to accomplish it to be OK?

I find if I get abruptly cut-off mid special-interest, I feel very irritated because all that's going around in my head is the desperate need to get back to it, I almost feel like my head is going to explode with frustration, I have to complete the session as it were, think of each time I indulge in my special interest it's like reading the chapter of a book, except I cannot put that book down until I finish that chapter!!

If someone interrupts me to tell me something, it is very unlikely I will be able to absorb anything they say, as all I will be thinking about is my special interest and at what point their interruption caused me to have to pause.

I dunno... I find that when I've hit saturation on an interest, it sort of eases out, the things that went to it are carefully filed away and always considered favorite things of mine even though I often have absolutely no interest in taking them out again. It's sort of like eating something for a long time until you get sick of it. You may still like the taste once in a while but since you overdid it, you don't go looking for it. In fact, I do that with food sometimes, find something I really like and make sure I keep it around, eat it about once a day, until I just can't stand the thought of ever eating it again.

I don't have any good advice on how to help him understand that the can try other interests. He's little, after all. But it may be okay. Maybe this is just signaling that he'll be tired of them soon. You may find overnight that you have a lot of unwanted dino stuff. Sometimes you want a new interest but nothing has suggested itself.

My special interests come and go - and change over time - but when I'm into something, that's all I think about. At times, they can definitely move into "obsession" territory. (When I was into role-playing video games, I lost a lot of sleep.) At other times, I will tend to view the entire world in the context of my special interest, but it doesn't prevent me from living a "normal" life. Maybe that's just me getting older & more creative about how to enjoy my interests.

Often, I've found myself branching out into related interests (but when I was a kid - not so much.)

From everything I've read about it (Temple Grandin has written quite eloquently on the subject - also Tony Attwood), limiting the time spent on special interests is not a bad thing - as long as you never take them away altogether - or deny access to them, as a means of punishment.

I understand the special interest in AS as generally either uncontrollable or very hard to control.

If it's easily controllable, I personally agree with several professionals that then say that it isn't a symptom of AS.

I remember having this problem as a kid and now it's not as bad. I don't go crazy if I don't have Spokane or Benny & Joon because I have it in my head. Back when I was a kid, I had to have my obsessions with me so I would bring 101 Dalmatians with (VHS tape) and when I was obsessed with A league of Their Own, I brought the movie with.

What your son has, is exactly what I'm going through, though with a differant 'interest.'

It is something that I don't talk about too much, even on here, because not too many people understand. Usually people on here can just 'stop' an obsession, and move onto something else. I have those 'normal' obsessions, but this one is differant. It is one that is very very difficult to get away from, and it has become a nightmare.
I think about it constantly, and even my body is affected by it. Having it, I feel like I'm a bad person, because I can't get rid of it. I have even thought of suicide to be rid of it, to be free of its all-pervasive grasp. And because of the suicidal feelings, I have been hospitalized twice. I was suicdal because I thought I couldn't give into the obsession, and then suicidal because I couldn't be rid of it.

What my obsession is, is the extreme desire to become pregnant. I am a female, so naturally one would have this desire somewhat, but not to this extent. People say, "Why don't you adopt?" or "Why don't you try and fnd a husband?" and I say, "Its not about the child per se, but the need to be pregnant." (Now don't get me wrong, I would take care and love any child that resulted from this, its just not a thing I would normally choose.) I am always hesitant to talk about this, because a child is supposed to be a happy thing, and many people have their opinions. Plus, not too many meds work on aspie obsessions, epecially if they aren't the 'OCD' kind.

But I do these things because I am torn. I am not supposed to want to have this, children are supposed to be born in a marriage and have a father and blah, blah, blah. Thats all fine and good, if I only could get rid of this. It has made me feel like a terrible person and hate myself and my life, because its something that I can't be rid of. I want to be rid of it but at the same time I would give almost anything to be pregnant.

I have told my mother and my therapist, "I can't get rid of this, no matter how hard I try." At first they didn't understand, that they thought it was a 'voluntary' obsession, something that if the person did XYZ or held off enough, the obsession would go away. But after I told them both many times (and my stepfather too) with tears in my eyes and crying, that its not something I can control, that I must give into it, they were able to understand. Even if I were to live in poverty and not be able to fulfill my dreams to become a pilot.
They don't like it, as do I, but they are not stopping me from pursuing it.
I do it, so my mom doesn't have to pay for my funeral.

Sorry if I rambled on too long, its just a rare thing to find someone who also knows what its like to see something like this, even in a small boy.

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My experience is that having special interests can be exhausting. Often have trouble with sleep, work, meals etc because am obsessed with my interest and unable to focus on anything else. Wish that my interests were less intense.

I could quote this exactly to sum up my interests as well.

I can't really relate. I've found that the stronger my current obsession is, the happier I am and the easier it is for me to cope. Thinking about it constantly makes me happy. It is hard to think of other things (such as homework) but a long time ago I learned a trick-I related the homework (however loosely or abstractly) to the obsession and make a sort of goal, and I could get it done much faster than I normally would. I know that my obsessions are not something I can control, but I wouldn't want to anyway as they've never been a problem to me but instead a great help. I'm always working with my interests, and I've barely ever tried to work against them. The only time I did was when a movie was coming out on DVD in a month (it was a movie I had obsessed over before and seeing it was coming out started the interest up again) and I didn't want that obsession yet because I wanted to "save it" until I could get the movie and be able to enjoy it a lot more. I had another, weaker, interest that I was focusing on at the time, but it was so annoying and stressful to be constantly having to push the stronger one away. The interest itself didn't annoy me, but just that I couldn't really get into it yet because if I did I would be frustrated with not being able to watch the movie. Once I finally did get the movie, though, I no longer felt like I had to resist and that everything was "right with the world". And because of that obsession I felt happier than I had ever been. In fact, the memories of that time are some of my best. Looking back on this, fighting the interest seemed kind of silly and I know that if a similar situation ever happened to me again, I wouldn't fight it, I'd just go with it and "enjoy the ride".

I love reading these topics. The idea of special interests is something that has fascinated me even before I knew what Aspergers was. From an early age I classified it as a strange natural phenomenon that I had no control over any more than I had control over the changing of seasons or nature. In fact, the coming and going and rotating of interests seemed such a part of nature to me, I assumed that everyone had these interests!

That's not gross.

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